“Yeah, they don’t want him to be a burden on me, so they put him on a waitlist for state housing.”
“Maybe you’ve been looking at things the wrong way.” Maybe “wrong” wasn’t the right word. “To me, your parents seem like they want the best for you.”
“I know they do, it just hurts so much that Caleb won’t live here anymore.” Her eyes filled with tears as she looked around the room and I knew she was taking in the family photographs; she was cataloging the memories they’d made, and wondering if things would ever be the same.
“It was bound to happen at some point. All kids move out. You did.”
She swallowed. “That’s true.”
Was I finally getting through to her?
“I’ve been so stuck in my thoughts lately. I’ve been on an endless loop thinking I needed to give up myself to take care of Caleb.”
“You feel guilty because you moved out, because you weren’t here, but he’s not your responsibility. Caleb needs to get used to this new normal. You have a life in New Orleans.” With me.
“Maybe.”
I wanted to free her of some of the guilt she’d carried her whole life. “It’s going to be hard but I’m here for you. Your parents are here for you.”
Mrs. Leeds poked her head into the doorway. “Did you want to meet Caleb? He’s a little uncomfortable with strangers.”
“I’d love to.” I stood. I couldn’t believe I would finally meet the most important person in Taylor’s life. I was a little nervous because I hadn’t met anyone who was autistic and wasn’t sure what to expect.
When he walked in behind Mrs. Leeds, I almost couldn’t believe it. He was a larger version of Taylor—blond hair, light blue eyes, broad shoulders and an inch or so taller than me. His right arm was in a sling and he had some cuts and bruises on his face. His eyes weren’t focused on anyone in particular and they finally settled on the TV which was playing in the background.
I’d done research online before I arrived, and my limited understanding was that he probably wouldn’t acknowledge me or focus on me, but I waited for Taylor to take the lead.
Taylor hugged him. “My friend, Gabe, is here to visit.” She gestured at me, but Caleb didn’t move his eyes from the TV. “Why don’t you sit down, Caleb? You can rest and watch TV.”
Taylor guided him to the couch. “He loves watching TV,” Taylor said to me and I wanted to know everything about him, what it was like to grow up with a brother with a disability, what Taylor was like, and how her brother shaped her.
We spent the afternoon on her couch. Her mom brought more snacks out and family albums. Caleb rocked continually and I wanted to know why but I didn’t want to ask. Taylor must have noticed me watching him and leaned over to whisper, “He’s a little uncomfortable because you’re here. He rocks when he’s agitated.”
“I can go. I don’t want to upset him.” I didn’t want to leave but I had to be aware of Caleb’s limitations with new people. I stood, offering my hand to her parents, and told them it was nice to meet them. Then I stood in front of Caleb. He didn’t stand or acknowledge me but I said, “It was nice to meet you.” I touched his shoulder briefly before walking out of the room.
Taylor followed me, but I hesitated, wanting more time with her. “Go to dinner with me? Spending time with your family was the first time I ever truly felt like I was part of something. Thank you.” She stared at me without responding, so I said, “Well, I’ll call you tomorrow and maybe we could meet up then. I’ll see you later.” I turned to jog down the wooden steps.
“Wait.”
I stopped at the bottom of the steps, letting out the breath I’d been holding, and turned to face her.
“I’ll go to dinner with you.” She smiled softly and I knew she was giving me a chance and I couldn’t screw it up. “We can walk. I’ll show you my town.”
“I’d love that.” Her parents lived on a fairly quiet street only a few streets over from Main Street, the main tourist area, where the shops selling fudge, knick-knacks, clothes, and ice cream, and seafood restaurants were located. She took me past St. Mary’s, the school she attended. “Did you wear uniforms?”
“Of course we did.”
I grabbed her hand. “I’d loved to have seen that.”
“I might still have one. I could model it for you sometime if you’re good.” She smiled, the first easy smile I’d seen from her except when she’d greeted Caleb.
“That’s a tough one. I’m rarely good.” My voice lowered.
“I’m starting to realize that’s what I like about you.” She smiled up at me and I knew my heart was gone for this girl and I’d never get it back. We walked hand in hand down the street across from Annapolis Harbor, where throngs of people enjoyed the cool fall air.
“I always go to The Federal House to eat. Is that okay? You can get crab cakes and a beer. There’s always sports playing in the bar area.”
“Sounds good to me.” The restaurant was located near the waterfront across from the Marketplace building. We walked inside and were seated at a high-top table in the bar area.
We ordered crab cakes and beers and when the waiter was gone, Taylor said, “Listen, I appreciate you coming here, but—”
“But what? I’m not pressuring you. You don’t have to forgive me or get back together with me. I just want to be here for you, like you were for me. I want to be your friend.”
Friendship would be difficult because I was drawn to her in a way I wasn’t to Isaac. I wanted her but I could be patient.
She assessed me for a few seconds then said, “Okay.”
I smiled. “Okay?” I’d take it. I’d take
