‘D’you want me to tilt my head to the left or the right?’ I asked, impatiently.
‘Er . . . which way do girls usually tilt their heads when they’re being kissed?’ asked Callum.
‘Does it matter? Besides, how should I know?’ I frowned. ‘Have I ever kissed a boy before?’
‘Tilt your head to the left then.’
‘My left or your left?’
‘Er . . . your left.’
I did as asked. ‘Hurry up, before I get a crick in my neck.’
Callum licked his lips before his face moved slowly closer towards mine.
‘Oh no you don’t,’ I drew back. ‘Wipe your lips first.’
‘Why?’
‘You just licked them.’
‘Oh! OK!’ Callum wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
I moved forward to resume my original position. Keeping my lips tight together, I wondered what I should do with them. Purse them so that they stuck out slightly? Or should I smile to make them seem wider and more appealing? I’d only ever practised kissing with my pillow. This was a lot different – and seemed just as silly!
‘Hurry up!’ I urged.
I kept my eyes wide open as I watched Callum’s face move down towards mine. Callum’s grey eyes were open too. I was going cross-eyed trying to keep my focus on his face. And then his lips were touching mine. How funny! I’d expected Callum’s lips to be hard and dry and scaly like a lizard’s skin. But they weren’t. They were soft. Callum closed his eyes. After a moment, I did the same. Our lips were still touching. Callum’s mouth opened, making mine open at the same time. Callum’s breath mingled with mine and felt warm and sweet. And then without warning his tongue was touching mine.
‘Yeuk!’ I drew back immediately and stuck my tongue out, wiping it with my hand. ‘What did you do that for?’
‘It wasn’t that bad, was it?’
‘I don’t want your tongue on mine.’ I shook my head.
‘Why not?’
‘’Cause . . .’ I shuddered at the thought of it, ‘. . . our spit will mix up.’
‘So? It’s meant to.’
I considered this.
‘Well?’
‘OK! OK!’ I frowned, adding. ‘The things I do for you! Let’s try it again.’
Callum smiled at me, the familiar twinkle in his eyes. That’s the thing about Callum – he looks at me a certain way and I’m never quite sure if he’s laughing at me. Before I could change my mind, Callum’s lips were already on mine – and just as soft and gentle as before. His tongue flicked into my mouth again. After a brief moment of thinking ugh! I found that it wasn’t too bad. In fact it was actually quite nice in a gross-to-think-about-but-OK-to-do sort of way. I closed my eyes and began to return Callum’s kiss. His tongue licked over mine. It was warm and wet but it didn’t make me want to heave. And then my tongue did the same to him. I began to feel a little strange. My heart was beginning to thump in a peculiar, hiccupy way that made me feel like I was racing down a roller-coaster, roaring out of control. Someone was tying knots with my insides. I pulled away.
‘That’s enough.’
‘Sorry.’ Callum sat back.
‘Why’re you apologizing?’ I frowned. ‘Didn’t you like it?’
Callum shrugged. ‘It was OK.’
I was annoyed. I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t help it. ‘Have you kissed any other girls besides me?’
‘No.’
‘Any Cross girls?’
‘No.’
‘Any nought girls?’
‘No means no.’ Callum huffed with exasperation.
‘So why did you want to kiss me?’
‘We’re friends, aren’t we?’ Callum shrugged.
I relaxed into a smile. ‘Of course we are.’
‘And if you can’t kiss your friends then who can you kiss?’ Callum smiled.
I turned back to the sea. It shone like a shattered mirror, each fragment reflecting and dazzling. It never ceased to amaze me just how beautiful the sand and the sea and the gentle breeze on my face could be. My family’s private beach was my favourite place in the whole world. Kilometres of coastline that was all ours, with just a couple of signs declaring that it was private property and some old wooden fencing at each end, through which Callum and I had made a gap. And I was here with my favourite person. I turned to look at Callum. He was looking at me, the strangest expression on his face.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing.’
‘What’re you thinking?’ I asked.
‘About you and me.’
‘What about us?’
Callum turned to look out over the sea. ‘Sometimes I wish there was just you and me and no-one else in the whole world.’
‘We’d drive each other crazy, wouldn’t we?’ I teased.
At first I thought that Callum wasn’t going to answer.
‘Sephy, d’you ever dream of just . . . escaping? Hopping on the first boat or plane you come across and just letting it take you away.’ There was no mistaking the wistfully wishful note in Callum’s voice. ‘I do . . .’
‘Where would you go?’
‘That’s just the point,’ Callum said with sudden bitterness. ‘This place is like the whole world and the whole world is like this place. So where could I go?’
‘This place isn’t so bad, is it?’ I asked, gently.
‘Depends on your point of view,’ Callum replied. ‘You’re on the inside, Sephy. I’m not.’
I couldn’t think of an answer to that, so I didn’t reply. We both sat in silence for a while longer.
‘Wherever you went, I’d go with you,’ I decided. ‘Though you’d soon get bored with me.’
Callum sighed. A long, heartfelt sigh which immediately made me feel like I’d failed some test I hadn’t even known I was taking.
‘We’d better get on with it,’ he said at last. ‘What’s the lesson for today, teacher?’
Disappointment raced through me. But then, what
