“Oh sure. Now you shut the fuck up.” While his words were light, Gavin didn’t turn to look at him. Oliver suspected he was probably afraid of what he’d see.
“Turn around, Gavin.”
Gavin lowered his head, shaking it miserably, so Oliver stood up and walked over to him. He leaned his ass against the counter Gavin was staring at intently, determined to avoid Oliver’s gaze.
Oliver shifted closer, nudging Gavin with his shoulder. “You want her,” he said, not bothering to hide his grin.
Gavin saw his too-pleased expression and cursed. “Please don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
Gavin gave him an exasperated look. “Go where you’re going. It was one…weird…night. And…Jesus, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but…” Gavin’s eyes traveled skyward as if what he was going to say next would hurt. “I was pretty shaken up after showing her my back. I’m worried my feelings are sort of fucked up. Like…maybe it wasn’t attraction. It could have been gratitude or…something…and I’ve misread it all. Transference or some such shit.”
Oliver gripped Gavin’s shoulder. “Mom would be so proud of you. That’s next-level psychobabble there. I mean…it’s completely wrong, but you used a really cool, big word.”
“That’s super helpful, Ollie. Probably a good thing you followed in Sean’s footsteps.”
“You want my analysis?” Oliver asked.
Gavin shook his head and crossed his arms. “No. Absolutely not.”
Oliver laughed, then forged on. “What I think you’re saying is…you actually are bi.”
His joke hit its mark. Sort of.
While he didn’t laugh, Gavin’s eyes narrowed, though there was no heat in the look. “You’re a fucking asshole.”
“I’m a fucking happy asshole.”
Gavin sighed. “You know I’ve never been with a woman. I don’t have a clue how…or if…”
Oliver squeezed Gavin’s shoulder. “I’ll teach you. Now come on. We need to make a list and hit the store. You and I are going to seduce our girl tonight.”
Gavin huffed out a harsh breath. “Wow. That escalated quickly. You just totally went there. After I told you not to.”
“It’s me. And I’ve been waiting for this moment for-fucking-ever. Of course I went there.”
“Seriously, Ollie. How about we see how tonight goes before you start picking out china patterns? Maybe we can just have some dinner and talk and…I mean…what if I’m wrong? What if I can’t…”
“You can.”
“You know, just saying that doesn’t make it true. If I can’t… Jesus. I don’t want to think about what I might screw up if what I’m feeling is wrong. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“You won’t hurt her—you love her—and it’s not wrong. We can take it slowly, but we’re not walking away from this. Please. Try it. For me. For Erin.”
“Erin,” Gavin murmured. “What if she doesn’t want this?”
Oliver rolled his eyes. “You’re joking, right? You were there. You heard her call out your name.”
“Why did she do that?”
“Because she wants you, you idiot. She knew you were watching us last night too.”
That didn’t comfort Gavin, who cursed again. “Shit!”
“It turned her on.”
“It did?” Gavin asked.
Oliver nodded. “We both want you to be with us, Gavin. I know it’s going to take time for you to believe that, but it’s still the truth. And if you open yourself up to what I’m suggesting, if you really give it a shot, then we’ll have the rest of our lives to show you how much we love you. How much we need you to be with us.”
Gavin glanced away, but Oliver could tell it wasn’t a dismissal, rather a way for his foster brother to hide the emotions riding close to the surface. “I’ve been with you, with your family, for nearly a decade. I wish… I’m sorry I’m not better at…” Gavin ran his hand through his hair again, making his bedhead hairstyle even messier. “For fifteen years, my mother alternated between telling me I was a piece of shit who didn’t deserve to be happy to telling me she couldn’t survive without me. Makes it hard to hear one thing without waiting for someone to pull the rug out and flip the other way.”
“I get that.”
“I’m not using that as an excuse, I’m just saying…even now, after all these years with you and Sean and Lauren and Chad, it’s hard for me to really believe…”
Oliver pulled Gavin into his arms. “I love you, Gavin. And I’ll say it every day, bro. Every day until you believe it.”
Gavin hugged him back, and for the first time in his life, Oliver felt like all the pieces were clicking into place.
“So about tonight,” Oliver said as they parted. “I think we start with a candlelight dinner.”
8
Erin walked into the apartment, trying to shake off her exhaustion. It had been a busy shift in the E.R., and all she could think about was stripping off her scrubs, pouring a glass of wine, and conking out on the couch.
That plan changed the second she crossed the threshold and saw Oliver lighting candles on her small dining room table.
He frowned when he saw her. “You’re tired.”
She nodded. “Yeah. Long day. What’s this?” she asked, gesturing to the table.
“You’ve had quite a few long days lately.”
“Short-staffed. Lot of nurses out with the flu. Plus, it’s the holidays. Too many suicide attempts and drug overdoses.”
Gavin walked out of the kitchen with a glass of red wine in his hand. He handed it to her. “You’re late.”
“I know. I was just telling Ollie we were slammed. I got stuck filling out some last-minute paperwork. Did we have plans?” she asked.
Oliver shook his head. “Nope.”
She considered that for a second, and then panicked. “Are we celebrating something? Oh my God. Did I forget a birthday or anniversary or something?”
Oliver chuckled and repeated himself. “Nope.”
She took a sip of wine, glancing from Oliver to Gavin. “Gonna give me a clue here?”
“Gavin and I wanted to do something nice for you. Our way of thanking you for taking us in. Two homeless waifs, out on the street at Christmas.”
Erin laughed.
