Rae jerks her attention to where Sophie is staring and looks at me.
“I’m pretty sure he recognizes you.” Sophie winces. “He’s heading this way.”
Before her words have the chance to make my panic set in, someone catches my attention with a wave. Maddie.
“No,” I whisper.
“Who’s that?” Rae asks. “Tell me it’s not Mike’s girlfriend.”
“In the flesh.”
“Who’s Mike?” Sophie asks.
“My ex from high school.”
This news has Sophie’s gaze turning in the direction of Maddie. “And the strawberry blonde is his new girlfriend?”
“Yup.”
“Is your ex with her?”
I shake my head. “I don't see him.”
“Was it an ugly breakup?” Sophie whispers as Maddie continues her path to us.
“I stopped listening to music for about a year,” I admit.
Sophie’s wince intensifies. “At least Chase stopped coming this way.” Her phone rings, breaking the anticipation like a scene in a thriller movie. She frowns. “I’m really sorry to leave you, but this is my roommate.”
I shake my head. “No. Totally. Go.”
She gives a pained smile and then turns on her heel.
Rae grips my hand. “It’s okay. This is going to be nothing. We’ll hang out for two seconds, make an excuse to bail, so it doesn’t look like we’re running away, and then go snag a few more of those cupcakes to celebrate.”
“Hey, Poppy,” Maddie says.
I force a smile. “Hi, Maddie.”
She wrings her hands. It’s as though I can physically sense her nerves, and it makes me feel a little like a jerk for wanting to escape, but the feeling to shake her doesn’t lessen in the least. “I feel like it’s the first day of school all over again.” She laughs. “I guess I’m going to have to get used to that feeling. New state, new town, new school.”
I glance at Rae, wanting to hate Maddie, and struggling to do so. I’m hoping my best friend is finding reasons not to like her. “Maddie, this is my best friend, Raegan Lawson. Rae, this is Maddie. She just moved here from Arkansas with Mike Rio.” I offer the formal introduction to make it sound like I haven’t been gossiping or obsessing about Maddie’s arrival into my life.
Rae smiles, but it’s glacial. “Nice to meet you.” She looks around, reading my thoughts about Mike. “Is Mike here?”
Maddie turns, looking toward the front door. “Yeah. He was just saying hi to…” she points. “Tanner.” Mike and Tanner Schmidt, Mike’s best friend who attended high school with us, are walking toward us. He doesn’t attend Brighton, and I haven’t seen him since graduation. I also definitely didn’t invite him.
Panic floods me as I turn to Rae, utterly unprepared for this moment that I’ve been trying to plan for all week.
“Hey, Raegan. Hey, Poppy,” Mike says as he comes to a stop, placing his hand around Maddie’s waist. His fingers curl around her hip, and I kind of hate myself for noticing. Self-preservation has clearly taken the day off.
“Mike,” Rae greets him with another cold smile. “I had no idea you were back in town. I just found out when I met Maddie here.”
Her words cause him to skip a beat, his gaze traveling between Rae and me twice as though checking to see if our friendship is as strong as it was during high school.
“We’ve been really busy with planning the party and school,” I explain. Typically, my best friend is as terrible of a liar as I am, but right now, she’s excelling while I’m floundering.
“I’m so impressed,” Maddie says, glancing around the decorated front yard.
I want to mention that the outside pales in comparison to the inside, but providing her with the excuse to go inside has me nodding.
“How are you, Tanner?” I ask, trying to bypass all conversation topics, specifically about the guy I don’t date who doesn’t live here.
Tanner attempts to smile, but it’s as contrived as this conversation. Even in high school, after dating Mike for well over a year, Tanner and I never found enough common ground for any kind of friendship.
This has me thinking about how I don’t know Paxton very well or Caleb or even Lincoln, and I begin to wonder if this is a “me” thing. Maybe I’m boring? Antisocial? Do people avoid me?
My mind is twisting into possible scenarios, forcing Rae to carry the brunt of the conversation that I miss hearing most of.
“It was nice to see you guys,” Rae says. “We need to check on the food and drinks. We’ll see you later.” Her fingers twine with mine and she takes a step back, pulling me with her.
“Yeah,” Maddie says. “We totally understand. Hopefully, we’ll see you around. I’d love to meet your boyfriend, Poppy.”
“Yeah. Me too,” Mike tags on, giving me a look that says he knows that won’t be happening.
5
Paxton
This party is my very last idea of fun. Everything from the costumes to the ban on alcohol to having it at my own house contributes to making this a suckfest. Every one of my teammates is watching me tonight. I can feel their stares, waiting for me to fuck up. What makes it almost worse is they’re not waiting because they want to reprimand me. Instead, they all want to shield me, taking their roles played on the football field and applying them to everyday life. It’s a special circle of purgatory that I’m trying to accept.
Thankfully, I’m confident they’re about to play the curfew card and close this party down.
“Is this really a dry party?” a short guy with spiked hair looks at me with a drawn brow. I don’t have any idea who he is.
“In my honor,” I tell him.
He scoffs like he knows my reputation. “I’ve got a couple of fifths in my car. It’s Halloween. We’re supposed to be having fun.”
His invitation is tempting. The pressure of everyone’s attention and assumptions that I’ll fail feels like a giant lead ball that’s shackled to my ankle. But wearing the title of martyr is far outside my desired reach, and I know they’re watching my
