"Well, I never went to college because I couldn't afford it. Now I can afford it, I can't bring myself to give up a good, steady paycheck. What a sellout."
"That's just how it goes I guess." His smile turned neutral, and then to a frown.
"Sorry, I'm bumming you out."
"Not at all. You're just being real. I hate talking to people who are all sunshine and rainbows."
"Ha. Well, I'm definitely not that." They sat in silence for a minute. Kristen liked that. Just being able to enjoy someone's company without all the bullshit that went along with it. "You wanna hear something interesting?"
"Always."
"I warn you, it's a bit... odd."
"I'm a bit odd. Go ahead."
"I'm kind of trying to help track down a killer online."
"Wow. That sounds pretty exciting."
"Told you it was weird."
"Is it wrong, I think it's kind of cool?"
"No. I get it. There is always that morbid curiosity. Death is the one thing that no one can experience and look back on. It's the ultimate unknown. I think by getting involved, I'm trying to take back some sort of control."
"Sorry if this is out of line, it's just... you said your dad was murdered. It's not the same person you're looking for?"
"It is. That's my motivation. If I concentrate on that, maybe some good will come from it. I can stop someone else suffering like him or like me."
"I'm sorry." He picked up the bottle and poured the remainder into their glasses. "Can't say I've been on many dates like this one."
"You go on a lot of dates?"
"Not really. I'm not the kind of guy most woman want to date."
"Seriously?" She was surprised. It had only taken her the course of thirty minutes to go from unsure, to strangely attached to this guy. She found him sweet. Normally she went for confidence, but his modesty was endearing. "Listen, should we head out after this?"
"You want to go home?"
"No. Not at all. I mean, we could go to mine?"
"Oh, yeah." He coughed, looking totally unprepared for the offer.
"Only if you want to, of course. We can always go to another bar if you want? There's a good place for live music nearby too." She second guessed herself. Maybe this was too quick. Maybe she actually wanted to take it slow. Did she actually like this guy?
~~~
The wine had already had an effect as she struggled to get her key in the lock. He laughed. "You having trouble there?"
"I got it." Finally, the key played ball and slid into the lock. She tried to remember if she had left clothes everywhere when she was getting ready, although she suspected he wouldn't care one way or another. She turned the hallway light on and took her coat off, placing it on a hook. She took his coat from him. "Make yourself comfortable."
She walked into the living room. Netflix and chill was probably the best course of action. Before she could even turn on the television, he was kissing her. It caught her by surprise, but she leaned into it. It was everything she had hoped for. Soft at first, but then more urgent. She pulled his T-shirt up over his head and discarded it on the floor.
In her rush to take off her top, she struggled, stuck in one of the sleeves and burst out laughing.
"Having trouble there?"
"Everything is under control." She pulled her hair out of the way as she removed her top and chucked it on the floor. He pressed his body up to hers. Skin on skin. That was what she wanted. That contact was everything she needed in that moment as the outside world melted away.
~~~
Great, that was a bust. Kristen lay on her side, pretending to be asleep, squeezing her eyes shut. It had started well enough. Hot and passionate. She tried to pinpoint the moment that it all went downhill. Once they were both fully naked, his earlier confidence had vanished, and it was like he had no idea what he was doing. It was awkward. The fumbling. Then his hard-on was well and truly gone, vanished, never to return. There was nothing less arousing than trying to resuscitate a flaccid cock for half an hour.
Oh well. If she was in a better place, with the mental energy to deal with it, maybe she could have worked on it with him. Seen him again and tried to get past it, but that wasn't what she needed right now. That wasn’t what tonight was about. Maybe she could say she had work early in the morning and ask him to leave. No, she would just have to be polite and worry about it in the morning, except she couldn't sleep. It was impossible to get comfortable, and she didn't want to move, out of fear of waking him up. His arm was underneath her, resting in the crook of her neck. If she made any sudden movements, she was certain he would wake up.
~~~
Why had she offered to make him breakfast? She couldn't relax with this stranger in her house. This was not one-night stand protocol. She pulled bacon from the frying pan with her tongs and put them on a plate with a kitchen towel to absorb the grease. Her stomach groaned at her in protest at the smell of bacon fat. Next, she turned her attention to the pancakes. The hotplate was ready to go. As predicted, the first one came out misshaped and the plate hadn't got hot enough yet.
Hungover, she watched the batter of her second pancake spread out in a perfect circle. Then, she watched as small bubbles formed on the surface that signaled it was ready to flip.
"Here you go." She placed the plates on the table and
