Why couldn't she open her eyes? Were they glued shut? She knew she was in her body, but she just couldn't open her eyes. One minute, she didn't want to move, but now she thought she couldn't move, she tried like hell to get up, to twitch a finger, to lift her head, to do anything. Was this what it was like to die? She had never been particularly scared of death until the possibility became painfully real. All those horror stories that had been drilled into her at Sunday school infiltrated her mind, clawing their way inside of her like a virus invading a cell. Fire and brimstone. Her sins were going to catch up with her, and she would be tortured for all eternity.
She screamed as her body finally listened to her, and she released her demons out of her body. She didn't deserve this. She made a mistake, more than one in fact, but she knew that, and she would make it right. She just needed another chance. If she had another chance, she would be the best mother she could be. She would remember to take her antidepressants. It wasn't too late for her.
~~~
The arm rest dug into Kristen's side, and she shuffled into a new position. She yearned to lie down in a comfortable bed, almost wishing she had been injured just so she could be looked after and stretch out. She had experienced tiredness before, but this was a whole new level. She slumped down and placed her head on the backrest of the waiting room chair until she saw a face she recognized. Doctor Lesley Warren. She had memorized the name while she sat waiting.
"How is she?"
"The emergency surgery went well. There was no organ damage. She is having her post-op checkup and you'll be able to visit her soon."
"Oh, thank you. That's great news." She cried in relief. Now she knew someone other than her was going to make it, everything felt slightly less bleak.
"Some more good news. I located one of the other patients you were asking for. Martin—"
"Seriously. That's amazing. Can I see him?"
"You can actually. I can take you to him if you're ready."
"I am." Kristen jumped up. Going from drained to energized in a split second. Piper was alive, Martin was alive. Sometimes, the good guys won.
"I can't wait to see him." As they walked down the hall, everything flooded back to her at once. Someone had found the gun John had dropped and shot him in the head. It was only when his blood sprayed all over her, that she realized it was over.
When she saw Piper lying on the carpet, she forgot she was covered in blood, and she wasn't reminded of it until the hospital bathroom as she washed brain matter out of her hair under the faucet and watched bright red water and dark clumps run down the sink. She remembered talking to the police, but not the words. The specifics were a blur. There would be more questions where that came from, but for now, the worst was over. The doctor stopped outside one of the recovery rooms and Kristen looked through the window before following Lesley.
"Martin," she squealed as she ran towards him.
"You might want to keep it down," Lesley said behind her.
"Sorry." It hurt to see him like that. Pale, bruised, and weak. He looked so fragile. "Martin, how are you?" She walked up to his bedside.
"I've been better." He was well enough to make a joke. That was promising. "Am I glad to see you. And Piper?"
"She's going to be fine. She got stabbed, but the doctor said it is okay. No organ damage. It was superficial. Where is Aadesh?"
Kristen could tell from the look in his eyes it was bad news before he even said a word. "He... I'm sorry, but he didn't make it."
"Oh god." She was going to be sick, pass out, cry, or all three. She lowered herself onto the chair and tried to control her breathing, tried to stop herself from shaking. "It's my fault. It's all my fault." She leaned forward and let her tears fall to the floor. They had been pent up too long; they had to come out eventually. When she finally got her tears under control, she forced the words out. "What about Connor?"
"Dead."
"Really? Well, that's a relief."
"The last time I saw him, his guts were poking out and his arm was falling off."
"The doctor said it was a bomb. That's so insane."
"What about what happened to you? I saw it on the news, and it didn't feel real."
"Well, I was there, and it still didn't feel real. I was in the middle of a conference on money laundering with Connor's partner in crime, the man who murdered my dad. We tried, but... those people he shot. Those innocent people." The tears came again, and she sunk her head into her hands. She saw Aadesh's face just staring at her, right through to her soul. "I'm sorry," she sobbed.
"People are going to do what they're going to do. You didn't make these people do these things. Think of how much worse it could have been if you weren't there. Even more people could have died. I still can't believe there was another killer. How did that not occur to us?"
Doctor Warren's pager beeped, and she looked down at the screen. "You can see your friend now."
Kristen looked at Martin. "Are you going to be okay here if I go and see Piper?"
"Go. I'm fine. Can you tell her..." Martin couldn't finish his sentence, but she already knew what he was trying to say. She wasn't blind. She could see the looks they
