When her fury and heartache were finally spent, the last of the fight drained from Ellie. Her legs wobbled like she’d just run a hundred miles. She grabbed a nearby chair to steady herself while shame seeped through her pores and filled her throat with a thick, oily residue.
A tear slipped down her cheek. Ellie bowed her head, searching for the words to apologize for lashing out.
Clay’s finger was gentle as he lifted her chin. “Look at me.”
Ellie didn’t want to look at him. She’d rather crawl into a hole and hide away. From him. From Val’s death. From Bethany’s kidnapping. From her memories. From the world. But she was tougher than that. She had to be.
His face swam in front of her, thanks to the stupid tears filling her eyes, but she blinked and blinked and forced herself to meet his gaze anyway. Whatever rebuke he planned to deliver, she deserved it.
“I love you.”
All Ellie could do was gape as Clay leaned in and pressed a featherlight kiss to her lips. The contact was there one moment, gone the next. When he straightened, she pressed shaky fingers to her mouth, which still tingled from the brief contact.
She tried to speak, but her vocal cords locked up. Probably for the best because she had no idea what to say. Her mind spun, and her emotions yanked her in every different direction all at once.
And curse him, Clay must have had an inkling of how she felt because he tipped his hat with a faint smile. “Shh, don’t say anything now. I just needed you to know that whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.” His expression turned solemn. “And I mean it. When you’re ready, and not a second sooner. Pressure and love don’t mix, no matter how someone in your past might have acted.”
Great. Now her eyes were burning again. Ellie nodded, afraid if she tried to utter even a single word, she’d collapse into a sniveling heap.
“Good, glad that’s settled. In the meantime, I’ll be filling every free hour by searching for Caraleigh.” His voice turned to steel. “Luke is the first real lead I’ve had on her case in years, and I won’t stop until I exhaust every damn resource and reach every dead end.”
As if mentioning his sister was the reminder the agent needed to get back to work, Clay headed for the door but paused when his hand touched the handle. “Any word on how long Katarina will be stuck in the psych ward?”
Still reeling from Clay’s shocking declaration, Ellie’s brain required a few seconds to process the abrupt subject change. When she did, she hugged herself and grimaced.
“That’s entirely up to Katarina.”
3
After Clay left, Ellie entered the corridor that led to a cluster of labs. She slipped inside the one that housed Carl’s tiny office, breathing in the mix of chemical odors while she rapped on the open door. “You have a minute?”
The young man lounging behind a giant computer monitor didn’t acknowledge her at first. His fingers raced across the keyboard while he hummed along to whatever song was playing on the oversized headphones covering his ears.
Rolling her eyes, Ellie stepped closer to the desk and clapped her hands. “Earth to Carl!”
With a screech of metal, the lab tech jolted upright in the chair and yanked the headphones off, his round-eyed expression almost comical. “Wha…oh hey, Ellie.” He flashed her a sheepish grin and tapped one of the earpieces now dangling around his neck. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I can see that.” She returned his smile and waved a hand at the empty chair. “May I?”
Carl brushed his frizzy brown hair off his forehead and grinned. “Yes, of course. Come on in.”
Ellie wrinkled her nose as she settled into the seat. “What’s that smell?” Definitely not chemicals. Something sickeningly sweet.
Carl greeted her question with a blank stare before he slapped his palm to his forehead. “Oh, sorry. I forgot. I left a banana in here over the weekend, and it got a little funky. It’s in the trash now. Is it bothering you? Because I can take the trash out now if it is.”
He half rose before Ellie had a chance to wave him down. “No, it’s fine. Please sit.”
Carl flopped back into the chair like an exuberant puppy. “Actually, I’m glad you came by. I have a favor to ask.”
“Ask away.”
“I was hoping you could write me a letter of recommendation.”
Another surprise coming on the heels of the last one. Whatever question she’d been expecting, it sure as heck wasn’t that. Ellie’s jaw slackened. “I…you want to leave CPD and go somewhere else?”
Carl nodded. “Yeah, I’m considering moving to Georgia. I…um…” The tech’s pale cheeks turned pink as he fiddled with a notepad on his desk. “I’ve been seeing a woman who lives close to Savannah.”
At first, Ellie was too stunned to do anything but blink. First Jillian, now Carl? Was everyone in her orbit managing a romantic life besides her? When she finally recovered, Ellie summoned a small smile. “That’s great, Carl. I’m happy for you.”
The tech’s hazel eyes lit up. “Thank you, that means a lot. But it also means I need to find a new job.”
“Well, we’ll be sad to lose you, but I’d be happy to write you a rec. Without your help, I don’t know where we’d be on some of our cases. Oh!” An idea struck Ellie. “I just remembered, Clay and I met a detective from Savannah recently. We could put in a good word for you if you like?”
His eyes
