“Now, going back is another story. Going from west to east is tougher in my mind. I always have a harder time adjusting that way than I do coming over this way.”
WE DECIDED to order a couple of mai tais, one of our shared loves, and were savoring the complex taste as we watched people passing by on the beach and through the bar. Both Kyle and I thought that the beach scene was more attractive because most of the men out there were at least shirtless. There were some that were dressed (if you can call it that) in Speedos. Those were such lovely things. They left absolutely nothing to the imagination, to the point that both of us wondered why men had to go through the charade of even bothering with the little things.
We were both very taken with a young man, in his early twenties, who wore a skimpy Speedo-type swimsuit. The suit was small, but what it was trying to contain was certainly anything but.
“You’re a doctor,” I started seriously. “So tell me. Is it anatomically possible that that boy is sporting as much meat as I think he is?”
“Seems unlikely, but stranger things have been known to happen. I’m actually wondering if he’s carrying his wallet and a change of underwear in there.” The man in question had clearly spent a fair amount of time in the sun, because his skin was tanned a beautiful light brown. “I wonder if he has tan lines?” Kyle asked.
“I would love to know. Why don’t you go ask him?”
“Me! Why me?”
“It was your question!”
“And it will remain a question since there is no way I’m walking up to some guy as good-looking as that, dressed in next to nothing, to ask him if he’s carrying his pet anaconda in his shorts and if he has tan lines.”
As Kyle had uttered his observation, our bartender was standing nearby. Checking out the object of our obvious lust, he smiled and said, “It’s real. And he’s brown all over, but there is a hint of a tan line.”
Kyle acted like he was horribly embarrassed and wanted to crawl under the bar. I didn’t give him time for that because I immediately perked up and said, “Tell me more.”
Kyle swatted my arm and said, “Behave!”
“I am. I’m behaving like the dirty old man that I am! Deal with it!”
The bartender laughed with us. “He’s a lifeguard on the beach. We went to school together in DC, and we moved out here together about a year ago.”
“Is he your boyfriend?” I asked.
“No. I’ve seen him naked many times, but he’s not my boyfriend. He’s my roommate but strictly financial roommate, not sexual. Are you two—”
“Yes,” I answered. Holding out my hand, I said, “I’m Joseph. This awesome man is Kyle.”
The bartender nodded appreciatively. “Awesome, huh? What makes you awesome?” he asked Kyle. It was so cute to see how embarrassed my guy could be sometimes at the thought that he was awesome. I still had a lot of work to do with him.
“He’s shy,” I observed lovingly. “He’s awesome because he’s a great guy. Smart as anyone you’ve ever met. Gorgeous beyond belief. Hung like a mule with a dick of death.” Kyle was seriously blushing now, but it didn’t stop me. “A while back he took on an entire mob of angry, uptight, upright Christian women and gave them some of the facts of life. Made me so fucking proud! And he saves lives during the day.”
“Sounds pretty awesome to me!” the bartender agreed.
“And I love him dearly,” I said, squeezing Kyle’s hand. “He asked me to marry him a few weeks ago too, so I get to keep him.”
“Try getting rid of me.”
“Never gonna happen, babe!” I announced.
“I like you guys,” the bartender pronounced. “Hang on a minute.” He stepped away, out of our sight for a moment. When he returned a minute later, he had the object of our shared lust in tow. “Guys, this is Mano. Mano, this is Joseph and Kyle. They’re engaged to be married. And Kyle is awesome.”
Not only had the young man been blessed with an endowment that could stop traffic, he also had been blessed with a smile that could melt the coldest heart. It reminded me of how Kyle’s smile had grabbed me in the beginning as well.
“Mano, nice to meet you.” We shook hands. “And since I have no hesitation about such things, I just wanted to say you have a beautiful smile.”
“Thank you!” he said, clearly surprised that the compliment wasn’t about his dick or some other part of his very exposed anatomy. “Most people are attracted to my dick.”
Kyle blushed all over again. “Oh, sweet Jesus,” he said, rolling his eyes and dropping his head.
“Yeah, we noticed that. Kind of hard not to since it comes into the room a few seconds before the rest of you. But we’re both a sucker for a beautiful smile. And besides, Kyle here probably can match you in the dick department, unless you get a lot bigger when you get hard.”
Kyle tried to slide down in his chair. He covered his face with his hands.
“No, I’m more of a shower than a grower.”
“Kyle’s a bit of both. Awesome dick on my awesome man!”
“I don’t know you,” Kyle said.
“He’s shy,” I explained. “Just wanted to say thanks for warming an old guy’s heart.”
“Who’s old?”
“Me!”
“No way. What are you, like, thirty?”
“Thirty-two.”
“Honey, that’s not old! I slept with a guy last night who was well into his forties. And he was still able to get it up and do all of his manly stuff.”
“Did he tip well?” the bartender asked.
“Bitch! I do it for love, not cash.”
“You seem to have a lot of love to share with the
