“And you aren’t going to get that answer tonight. So put it from your mind and cook me dinner,” he said, laughing. “What are you making?”
“Burgers on the grill and a macaroni salad. Simple. Hudson should be home within the hour if he didn’t get held up.”
“His replacement will be there by now. I’m sure they are just handing cases over.”
“So how is it living together? Will you two ever not live in the same house?”
Carson laughed at her. “I’m sure someday one of us will find someone and I’ll have to move out. This is Hudson’s house and it’s fine. We split the costs, but it’s still his place. And as for living together, we aren’t here that much at the same time. We both have rotating shifts and days. It so happened we are both on days for a few days this week, but most times we are passing each other more than anything.”
“I guess it works too. This house is nice and neat. We are all neat people. So you aren’t fighting over that.”
“Mom never let us be slobs,” he said. “Even in our own rooms we had to have it clean and you know it.”
“They are the best, aren’t they?” she asked of her parents. “We really got lucky.”
“They are,” he agreed. “Our whole family is great and even if you are annoyed with many of us, we are only watching out for your best interests. So cut everyone some slack. Seth is just doing the same too.”
Her brother was right. Family ties and connections could be a pain and though at times she wanted to distance herself and make her own name and be her own person, she couldn’t deny the support she was getting now was immeasurable.
“I know. He doesn’t need this stress. He doesn’t need this worry.”
Her brother laughed. “You probably told him that, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
“And what was his reaction?” Carson asked, grinning at her.
“He wasn’t so happy.”
“No man would be. It’s almost an insult that you think he can’t handle it. It sounds to me that he’s handled a lot of shitty cards dealt in his life and is still going back to the table.”
“That’s my point. He worried about his wife’s pregnancy and she died. Their son died. He’s a single father and worried about Adele. He is concerned over everything he does and says so that she knows she is loved and comes first. Yet he keeps trying to move on and now I’m bringing this to his life. Will he find it’s too much?”
“As a father should do. So you are saying you don’t think he has room in his life or heart for someone other than his daughter? If you think that, then why are you wasting your time with him? I know you don’t want him to choose between you two and you won’t ask that, but there is a part of you that is hoping that you can at least be level at some point. That’s only natural.”
She did feel that way. Just because Seth had other commitments and priorities didn’t mean that maybe he couldn’t find room in his life for her too. That she couldn’t elevate to that level.
She didn’t think she’d ever be at the top of his chain in his eyes. At least not alone. But why couldn’t she be close enough or even in someone’s life?
“I think he has room, but does he want to get involved with someone with my kind of baggage? Hasn’t he been through enough? We haven’t been dating long.”
“So that’s it?” he said. “You think he’s going to think you’re too much of a headache and not want to be with you?”
“Maybe,” she said quietly.
She went about starting the salad in an attempt to end this conversation but knew the chances of that were slim when Carson said, “Now you’re being silly. And if he is the kind of guy that does that, then he isn’t for you. You’ve got to get out of your own head when you’ve never been this way before. Why are you?”
“I don’t know,” she said, grabbing a tissue and blowing her nose. “Maybe it’s just everything happening at once.”
“Or maybe you’re starting to fall in love with him and don’t want to let yourself get there if you don’t think he feels the same?”
“When did you get to be so smart?”
“We are all smart,” he said. “We are doctors.”
She loved that her brothers could always make her laugh. “We are. It just hasn’t been that long. I’ve known him about three months or so. We’ve been dating two or a little more, but one of those months was spent talking on the phone and not seeing each other.”
“Exactly. And you got to know him more. How many people do you know in this dating generation do that unless it’s a long distance relationship from the start? Many don’t even last. I’m not sure I could have spent a month only talking to a woman on the phone and not seeing her.”
She smiled. “That’s because you can’t sit still and that would require you to do it. Neither can Hudson. You both hate talking on the phone too. You both like to be around people.”
“You’re right. We do. My point is, you’ve both already gone through things a lot of people don’t when they first start dating. Look at it that way. And he still wants to be with you and you still want to be with him. There are a lot of women who couldn’t handle his life.”
“I know. I’ve thought of that. He’s dated a few, he’s told me.”
“See? That makes what the two of you have even stronger so cut him some slack if he’s pissed
