The rushed nature of his voice, almost eager in his question, gave Lily pause. “Not necessarily,” she told him. “Do you have business in London?”
Thomas shook his head, the smile on his lips twitching. “No. I simply fancied going there. With you, if you agree.”
There was something impossibly sweet about that, and she was so unused to sweetness at his hand.
She might never see it again.
“I’d love to,” she said with a nod, letting herself smile in a way she had not done for him in some time. Years, in fact.
The smile he returned cracked the walls she had built up so carefully. “Good. Excellent. Shall we leave the day after tomorrow?”
Lily nodded again, wanting to laugh at how Thomas nearly bounced on his feet with his suggestion. “Whenever you think is best. I’ve no commitments here. Tell me when the carriage is ready, and I’ll alight.”
“What if I said five minutes?” he shot back.
She reared back, the banter so delightfully unexpected and inviting, and coughed in surprise. “Then I’d be going to London without my trunks, but I daresay I would manage.”
“I daresay you would.” He grinned, a small laugh escaping. “You wouldn’t need anything to be perfectly suited for London.” As though he suddenly realized what he was doing, he straightened fully, though his smile did not fade. “We can discuss the details at dinner. I trust you’ll be dining here?”
“Yes, of course.”
Thomas nodded firmly. “Excellent. Then I’ll leave you to your playing and see you then.” He bowed a little, then turned from the room as quickly as he had appeared.
Lily blinked hard at the now empty doorway, wondering if she were asleep, ill, or just imagining things. Whichever it was, she had just agreed to go to London with this new version of her husband, and there was no telling what would come from that.
Chapter Three
Take her to London, Monty had told him. There are courtships aplenty in London.
What a brilliant idea it had seemed at the time, but now, as he waited for the carriage to be brought around and loaded, Thomas wished he had asked for a few more specifics than simply London. He’d married Lily in London, and he’d ruined their marriage in London, and he’d found it easier to avoid Lily and his marriage in London.
Why in the world would it be any sort of place to mend anything between them?
Still, they were going, and he would have to make the best of the situation. After all, London had balls and theatre, both of which Lily adored, and he could take her for walks in Hyde Park or ride in a phaeton. They could go to musical evenings hosted by their friends and associates, where Lily would shine brighter than the stars, and he could praise her in the ways he’d never dared to before. He could send her flowers despite living in the same house and see her blush over dinner when they were delivered. They could come together in the evenings in the drawing room for conversation and laughter, or simply just to be together.
He could make up for all the time he had lost, if all went well.
And if it didn’t…
Well, Monty had promised to bring Beth to London in a week or so, which should prove quite a comfort after some very long days of awkward pauses and uncertain looks between himself and Lily.
What exactly he or his wife could do to help Thomas in any way was less clear, but he was certain their presence alone would lighten his load.
He’d never courted anyone in his life, and now he needed to court the woman he’d married. It was worse than courting a young woman in the hopes of marrying her, for the result of this courtship would not change anything about their married state. There would be no additional security or more ardent vows, and they would still be seen as the same people in the eyes of the world. All that would change, could change, would be the feeling behind those vows, and the manner in which they lived as husband and wife.
Now they only lived by the fact that they were husband and wife.
Any woman in the world could have filled that position for him.
But he had Lily. And he needed that to mean something.
It did mean something, however little it might seem to her. There had been a reason why, out of all the wealthy young women in the world, he had chosen her. He could have chosen Rosalind, if the identity mattered so little, and still have maintained the family connection that was so admirable. He could have randomly chosen any young lady of means in Society and salvaged his fortunes eventually.
But he had chosen Lily. The only option that truly meant something, and he had married her for her money.
It was both the best and the worst he could have done.
He was grasping for joy in the midst of his desperation despite almost completely ensuring it would never be the marriage he had imagined for them.
Until now.
Which was why they were going to London.
Oh, dashed days, he hated London.
But the memories of their pained silences at Rainford were too much to hope for a reconciliation, and there was very little by way of courtship opportunities in the neighborhood.
So, he would endure London, and hope for the best.
Or at least, for something better than the worst.
Was that too much to ask?
“Beth told me they plan on joining us in London,” Lily announced as she came to his side, surprising him. “I wasn’t aware they knew we were going.”
Thomas nodded, clasping his hands behind his back while his attention remained fixed on the place where his carriage should shortly appear. “I was speaking with Monty when the thought occurred to me. He thought it would be a fine thing for them as well, though they cannot leave with quite the same haste or on such a whim.”
“No, I
