Was it a premonition? Her reaching out to me? Or was it just my imagination playing tricks on me because I was so completely stressed out?
“You all right?” Dad asked as he put his car in park.
“As good as I can be,” I said through a forced smile. For whatever reason, I suddenly didn’t want people feeling bad for me. I knew it would make the whole thing worse.
Everyone filed into the house, and I made my way upstairs to take the dress off. “Please, just wait down here for me,” I said as my mom and Reggie started to follow me. “I’ll be right back down.”
“Are you sure?” Mom asked.
“Yeah, Mom. I’m fine. I just need to get into some sweats and throw my hair up in a bun. I’ll be as good as new,” I lied.
“Okay, honey. Just call down if you need me,” she said as I ascended the stairs.
“I will,” I called back over my shoulder.
Once I was in my room, I locked the door. For the briefest moment, I contemplated just staying up there and waiting until everyone got bored and went home. I knew that wouldn’t happen, though.
They were all waiting down there with bated breath for me to reappear so they could comfort and console me. It nearly turned my stomach. Not because I wasn’t grateful and I didn’t love them all, but because I knew it would melt me into a puddle of depression. I was a razor’s edge away from collapsing into a heap of sobbing mess, and I didn’t want to be that way.
I wanted to stay strong. After all, it wasn’t like Thorn had left me at the altar because he didn’t want to get married. Did I really believe that, though? Maybe when he came back and begged me to marry him, that was the part that wasn’t true. Perhaps when he’d taken off to deal with his sister’s drama alone, that had been… how he really felt about me. He didn’t need me…
“Do you need help with that?” Meri’s voice startled me out of my doom spiral.
“How did you get in here?” I asked.
“That’s a dumb question,” he said flatly.
It made me laugh so hard, I nearly peed my pants. I took the first deep breath I’d taken since I saw Azriel’s face. If Meri was still being a snarky butthole, then things couldn’t be too bad.
“You’re right. Can you help me with this zipper?” I asked.
“Whatever,” he said, but Meri used a little magic to help me get my zipper started. Then he retreated to the other side of my bed and faced the wall while I took the dress off.
I rooted through my drawers and found my comfiest pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that was buttery soft from being washed so many times. As I got dressed, Meri waved a little paw in the air and put the dress back on the hanger.
“I’ll put it in the closet,” I said.
“Don’t you want to give it back to Lilith? I’d have thought you’d want to be rid of the thing,” Meri snarked.
“That has yet to be determined,” I said. “I’m not saying that this could all still turn into a happily ever after, but maybe it will be fine.”
“Kinsley,” Meri said both sadly and sort of angrily.
“Don’t start with me, cat. Thorn’s a good man. I know it deep down inside. Has he had some issues? Yes. But, something just isn’t right, and…”
“Don’t say you think you can fix it, please. I hate it when women think they can fix men,” Meri said.
“Except in this case, I think his problem is spiritual or metaphysical. I can fix that,” I retorted.
“Promise me that if it turns out he’s just a jerk, you’ll let him go,” Meri almost sounded as if he were pleading.
“Meri?”
“Whatever, Kinsley. I don’t want to talk about it. Just promise,” he demanded.
“Do you know something about Thorn that I don’t? Do you have reason to be concerned?” I asked.
“No, and if I did, I’d have told you a long time ago. My job is to protect you and the baby. Thorn has always been a fine and upstanding young man,” Meri admitted. “Even if he’s a little uptight sometimes.”
“So, then why are you so worried about it?” I thought about it for a moment when Meri didn’t immediately respond. “I’m not going to run off with him or anything, Meri. He’s the sheriff of the town. Whatever happens, I’m staying here.”
“What if it’s the opposite? What if things don’t work out with you two?” Meri asked. “Will you stay here? Can you stay here if you have to see him every day?”
“Of course,” I said. “I’m home, Meri. Whatever happens with Thorn, Hangman’s House and Coventry are my home. This is where I’m going to raise my child.”
“Your mother didn’t have to do that with Thorn’s father. He left town,” Meri said.
“And I’m sure Mom and Dad would have been fine if he had stayed,” I said. “Everything will work out. I promise.”
“Kinsley?” I heard my Mom call from downstairs.
“Let’s get down there and get them out of here,” I whispered to Meri. “They all mean well, but I could use some alone time. Plus, I don’t want them all here fussing when Thorn inevitably shows up.”
When I got downstairs, everyone was standing around waiting for me. “You all look like you’re at a funeral,” I said, but the joke fell flat. “Come on, guys, I’m holding it together. If you all keep acting like the world is ending, I’m not going to be able to hold it together anymore.”
“Are you okay?” Dad asked. “Really okay?”
“I am, but I think I’d like to be alone for a while. All of you fussing around me like someone died is going to deplete what strength I
