Meri ran through the doorway just before I softly closed the door behind me. He padded down the stairs at my heels as we all made our way to the kitchen.
I got some valerian and chamomile out of the pantry. After putting some of the herbs in the metal tea strainer, I put the containers away. Meri didn’t ask, but I also grabbed a can of tuna.
While I waited for the water to boil, I forked the fish out onto a plate for him. “Thanks,” he said as I set it on the table.
“You’ve been a good sport,” I said and stretched.
“I’m worried about you,” he replied.
“Don’t,” I said. “It’s weird when you get all…not Meri… around me. It makes me feel like something is really wrong.”
“Something is really wrong,” Meri said.
“It’s just a little postpartum depression,” I said. “I’ll be all right.”
“You shouldn’t just suffer through it,” Meri groused. “That’s stupid.”
“There we go,” I said with a weary smile. I felt better when he called me stupid. When he was too nice, I got worried I was about to die or something.
“When are you going to tell Thorn about the daymares?” Meri said.
“What?” I asked. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m always around, Kinsley. I see you struggling. We’re linked, remember?”
“It’s fine,” I said. “I looked it up on the internet, and it happens to a lot of women. It will get better.”
“You should talk to your mother,” Meri said.
“Did she go through this too?” I asked. I didn’t think she had. Surely, she would have told me. She would have prepared me.
“No, but she can brew up something to help you with the constant anxiety,” Meri said.
“I’m doing that now,” I countered.
“If that doesn’t help you sleep, please promise me you’ll talk to her,” Meri said.
“Okay,” I said.
The water boiled, and I carefully poured it into my cup. Meri ate his tuna, and I had time to wash the plate while my tea steeped.
I didn’t want to drink it over Laney’s head, so I took her out of the sling and put her in the bassinet in the living room. She didn’t stir at all when I laid her down.
Confident she wasn’t going to wake again, I went back into the kitchen and squirted a few generous globs of honey into the tea. Meri was waiting for me on the sofa when I went back into the living room.
Thorn had converted the fireplace to gas, so I flipped the switch. A gentle fire roared to life, and I sat on the sofa sipping my tea and watching the flames dance.
Meri curled up in my lap and stayed there until I’d polished off the tea. When I finished, he crawled down to the other and of the sofa and waited.
I hadn’t heard Thorn make any noises upstairs, so I knew he’d fallen back asleep. I could hear Laney’s gentle, slow breathing in the bassinet, and it seemed silly to disturb her again.
So, I set the empty mug down on the coffee table, stretched out on the couch, and pulled the blanket we kept on the back over me. I lay on my side with my head on one of the softest pillows watching the fire. Meri gingerly walked up my leg and curled up on my hip. He was small enough that he fit there without falling off.
“I should turn off the fireplace,” I whispered, “but it’s so pretty.”
“It’ll be fine,” Meri said. “You can leave it going for hours or whatever.”
“You’re right,” I said and yawned. It wasn’t like it was a wood fire where you had to worry about smoke.
The next thing I knew, sunlight from where I hadn’t pulled the curtains all the way shut was hitting me right in the eye. I stretched, and my heart dropped into my gut.
I couldn’t hear Laney’s breathing anymore. I jumped up off the couch so fast that I sent Meri flying. Fortunately, he landed on his feet on the coffee table.
“Laney!” I called out as I rushed over to her bassinet.
She wasn’t there.
“Kinsley, she’s with me,” Thorn answered from the kitchen.
I pushed my palm against my chest as if that could slow my heart rate. After a couple of deep breaths, I felt the panic subside.
“You were sleeping so peacefully, and she needed a diaper change and a bottle,” Thorn said when he appeared in the doorway between the dining room and living room. “We were making French toast casserole. It’s almost done.”
“Is there bacon?” Meri asked as he jumped down off the coffee table and sashayed past Thorn.
“Of course,” Thorn answered.
“I panicked,” I said, like it was a confession, “when she wasn’t there.”
“Sorry about that. I was about to come wake you up for some food,” Thorn said. “Do you want to take her? I need to get the casserole out of the oven.”
“Let me go to the bathroom really quick,” I said.
I sprinted into the bathroom, did my business, and washed my hands in record time. When I came back out, the oven timer was going off, so I took Laney from Thorn and followed him back into the kitchen.
The warm smells of cinnamon and vanilla filled my senses. The rich scent of freshly brewed coffee hung in the air as well.
“I just made a pot,” Thorn said as if he could read my mind. “I’ll get you some.”
Laney had a little tabletop bouncer thingy that we could put her in while we were eating. As soon as I had her buckled in, Meri jumped into it and lay down next to her. She cooed and grabbed a fistful of his fir. I watched him wince, but he just tenderly licked Laney’s hand and she relaxed her fingers.
I gently pushed the bouncer down a couple of times and Laney cooed again. Thorn set a cup of coffee down in front of me.
“It’s already got cream and sugar. The casserole needs to cool for a few minutes,” he
