“It was just so sad, and the guys are so brave to risk their lives all the time,” Marian says.
“That’s always been Ace. He always thinks about other people before himself. He’s happiest when he’s helping.” That’s the difference between us. “He’s always been a greater man than I am.”
“How can you say that?” Marian says. “We can’t all be firefighters or go to war to defend our countries. Look how well you run your restaurant, making sure that you’re serving people the best quality pizza. No shortcuts for you,” Marian says passionately.
Her words touch me. “Thank you.”
“Don’t you ever put yourself down again or compare yourself to your brother. You’re two good men with different gifts and skills to offer.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I grin.
“I always wished I had a sibling,” Marian says, a wistful note in her voice. “How was it growing up with a brother?”
“Complicated,” I tell her.
Chapter 18
Marian
“I don’t understand,” I say. From what I’ve seen and heard, Declan and his brother Ace are very close. Declan was the first person that Ace called to tell him about the bush fires.
“Our parents did this favoritism thing,” Declan says. “It could have created a wedge between us, but we were determined that it would not.”
I slide closer to him on the couch and place a hand on his thigh. “That’s crazy. I don’t understand parents who favor one child and show it.”
“I think that for my parents, it was a game. A stupid twisted game to make us toe the line by using emotional blackmail,” Declan says. His voice is tinged with pain, and I feel at a loss on how I can comfort him.
Before I can say anything, the very person who is the subject of the conversation fills the screen. We both lean forward, and Declan increases the volume. “We want to tell everyone to stay calm and be prepared to follow instructions from the authorities,” Ace says, his tone serious. He explains what they are doing and the unpredictable direction of the wind. Declan’s brother is a lot more serious than Declan and bulkier, and that’s saying a lot because Declan is bulky.
Ace fades from the screen, and the reporter comes back.
“He looks so passionate about his job,” I muse.
“He wanted to be a firefighter,” Declan says.
“Did you know Marvin Foster, Brooke’s brother?” I ask Declan, my heart shrinking as it always does when I think or talk about him.
“Not very well, but I heard what happened to him and his wife,” Declan says. “Were you friends, too?”
I nod. “We met in college. Jason, Marvin, and I were known as the three musketeers. Marvin was the best of all of us.” I get teary.
Declan drapes an arm around me and pulls me close. I lean my head on his shoulder. My chest aches with pain. Declan rubs my arm.
“They died horribly,” Declan says. “I’m glad for their little boy. He got another family.”
“Yeah, they would be so proud of Liam,” I say and chuckle softly as I remember how much he lords it over his younger sister. “He’s the best big brother.”
We watch the news and talk more than we ever have.
“Do you want just the one baby?” Declan asks out of the blue.
I inhale deeply. “That’s an odd thing to say.” I inch away from him, and his hand falls off my shoulder. “I’m ovulating this week.”
“Oh,” Declan says. “You realize that when you conceive, our deal will come to an end?”
“I know.”
“Doesn’t that bother you the slightest bit?” Declan says.
It is so tempting to allow myself to go down that road, but I’ve given my heart away before, and it was crushed and trashed. “Why should it?” I ask flippantly. “That was our deal.”
“I guess what I’m trying—”
“Declan don’t.” I stand up. “It’s late, and I’m working tomorrow and so are you. I’ll keep up with the fire news on my phone. Goodnight.”
He stares at me for a few moments without speaking. “Goodnight.”
My heart pounds hard as I flee upstairs. It’s for the best. We have to stay on course, live up to the terms of our deal. I want a baby, not a man. Guilt floods me as it hits me that I haven’t thought about my baby in a long time. All I think about is having sex with Declan and not for procreation purposes.
I shut the door, lean on it, and inhale deeply. Okay. I lost my bearings for a while there, which is understandable. I haven’t had sex for years. I hooked up with a guy after Leonard but realized I’d picked yet another person who liked to boost his ego by putting down the woman he was with.
Sex with Declan feels as if I’ve come back from months of hibernation. He makes me feel alive in ways I haven’t experienced. Even when I was with Leonard, I never felt like that. Sex with Leonard had been okay. Nothing earth-shattering and certainly nothing to write home about. Bland is the right word for it.
Sex with Declan, on the other hand, is not just one part fitting into another. It’s an experience. It transcends the physical. And the pleasure is out of this world. I’ve never been so aroused making out or so utterly satisfied as after sex with Declan.
***
The first thing I do when I wake up the following morning is to check my phone for the latest news on the fires. Then I see a message from Brooke confirming the news that the winds have changed directions and the fire is under control.
Relief surges through me. I jump out of bed and hurry to Declan’s room to share the good news. The door is open, and when I peer in, the bed is made, and there’s a note on it.
Filled with curiosity, I go and pick up the note.
I have to dash to Santa Monica to sort
