“And Adam and Jeremy have no idea you do this?” she asked.
My eyes widened. “Hell no. Can you imagine Wyatt’s reaction if he found out?” I laughed without humor. “Though that’s part of what’s so appealing about it. The secrecy. Everyone thinks I’m this boring, dull guy—”
“It feels good knowing you have something going on that they would never guess,” she surmised.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“And you were planning on telling me all this tonight? Or did Tiffany force your hand?” Skylar questioned.
This time I took her hand. I had to touch her. I needed the physical connection with her in a way that was painful. “I swear to you, I was going to tell you everything. I did go see her last night—”
“She made you chicken parmigiana, you’re favorite.” She rolled her eyes.
“I sure as hell didn’t eat a meal with her. I went to her house and told her to get out of town. That if she didn’t, I’d report her to the IRS for tax fraud.”
Skylar’s eyes widened. “Whoa, really?”
I nodded. “Jeremy came to me earlier in the week and showed me a bunch of paperwork she had given him for the purchase of the land outside of town. Seems she’s been sending a lot of money offshore. She’s been evading taxes for almost a decade. That’s jail time if the feds were to find out.”
“Well, shit, no wonder she was bee-lining it out of town. She tried to paint a picture that it was because she realized the two of you weren’t meant to be together or some such nonsense. She really is a master liar.” Skylar pressed her mouth into a thin line. “But why didn’t you tell me all this before? Did you think I’d judge you? That I wouldn’t understand?”
“I didn’t know. I was scared. Can you blame me? That’s a heavy load of stuff to put on your shoulders. I wanted to trust you’d understand my past, but I was terrified you wouldn’t. I’ve been so used to secrets; it’s become my de facto response. I didn’t know how to open up, especially about this,” I explained.
She pulled her hand out of my grasp. “So, you telling me you loved me this morning was more about priming me for this huge bomb you were about to drop in my lap?”
“What? No!” I gasped. “My god, Skylar, don’t ever think that! I told you I loved you because I do. I fucking love you. Every single, wonderful thing about you. There was no ulterior motive to me saying that to you this morning. I just had to tell you in case it all fell apart when I told you this.”
Skylar was quiet for a long time. The silence was deafening. I wanted to say something to break it. The longer she went without speaking, the edgier I became. She stared down at her hands. Edgar started whining, picking up on the tension.
After what felt like forever, Skylar looked up at me, her eyes wet. “I understand, Rob. I really do. I know why you made the choices you did. You were young and easily manipulated. You felt you had to take care of your family in the only way you could.”
I felt immeasurable relief. “Yes, Sky. That’s exactly it.”
“And I can understand why you continued to dance. Why you set up that website. I imagine once you’re entrenched in it, it’s hard to give up. And this time it was in your hands. Tiffany wasn’t controlling it. That had to be a powerful feeling.”
She got it. She really did.
“Skylar, I’m so relieved you understand. I was so worried—”
“I said I understand, Rob, that doesn’t mean I’m okay with you lying to me for months. For making me fall in love with you all the while keeping something so big from me. I can get why you don’t want your mom or brother to know. I especially understand why it’s important to keep this from Adam and Jeremy. But from me? I’m your girlfriend. I thought we were building something special here.” She was crying now. My god, why was she crying?
“We are, Sky. What we have is so special, so important. Don’t you see what you mean to me?”
She shook her head. “I would never judge you, Rob. But I can’t forgive your duplicity. If you lie to me about this, how can I trust you not to lie about other things? I can’t live a life always wondering if you are telling me everything. If you were saying one thing but then doing something else behind my back.” She covered her face with her hands. “I love you, Robert. I love you so much it hurts. But I can’t be with someone that I can’t trust. You know this.”
She loved me. She just said the words I had been longing to hear from her.
And she tells me as she’s breaking my goddamn heart.
“No, Sky. Don’t do this. We can get through it. I’ll work hard to make you trust me again. I’ll prove it to you.” I was crying now. I couldn’t stop. “Please, Skylar, I love you.”
“I can’t trust you, Robert. That’s the end of this story.” She rubbed her face, wiping the tears from her skin. “I want you to go now.”
I reached for her, pulling her into my arms. I wouldn’t let her go. Not now. Not ever. “You have to believe me; I’ll never lie to you ever again. I promise.” I was sobbing. I couldn’t bear to lose her. Not now. Not after all this.
For a moment she melted into me as if her body couldn't help it. I lifted her face and kissed her nose, her cheeks, her chin. “I love you, Skylar. Please, don’t do this,” I whispered, kissing
