“Not them,” Jared interjects, “If your fuckhead brother or dad comes here, then they’ll have to kill me before they can get anywhere near you.”
I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t want Jared to get hurt. I don’t want any of them to get hurt, but I am also scared. I’ll never admit how scared I am out loud. I’m too stubborn for that.
“We’re here for you, Lex. Each one of us. We will never let anyone hurt you again.” The certainty in Jared’s voice is convincing, yet I worry that his statement has more than one meaning. He knows, hell, they all know that I’m hurting from the way things ended with Ayden. The guys can’t protect my heart from that sort of pain, although right now, I kinda wish they could.
I give Jared a small smile before laying down on my side to get comfy on the couch, and he follows suit on the floor below me. With the faint glow of the TV filling the room, I look down over my friends as they shuffle around, trying to get comfy on the floor. I feel bad. There’s no way it’s comfortable for them down there, but I desperately don’t want them to leave, so I stay quiet.
They each have their phones in their hands, either silently playing a game or checking their SnapChats. I join them and take my phone out to recheck my emails—still nothing from Abbey. I don’t understand why I haven’t heard from her. Maybe her parents have taken all of her devices off her. But that can’t be right. Marcus said he contacted her last weekend. It’s now Friday, so anything could have happened in that time, I guess. Ugh, it’s eating me up not knowing what’s going on with Abbey. Maybe I will take a walk to her house on the weekend. Surely her parents won’t be rude enough to my face and turn me away?
As if my heart isn’t quite aching enough already, I decide to torture myself again and look back over Ayden’s messages. I go back to our first messages when we were two strangers. Looking at them again shows me how fast we connected. It was instant, really. Sure, I pushed him away at first, but he never gave up. I scroll past the video he sent of his version of a lap dance from a magazine cut out, and then past the video I sent him in return of my crack house. I know now that it was my way of trying to tell him I was in trouble without admitting it. Most of our messages make me smile, but not the last one he sent.
I’m so fucking sorry!
I have to fight every instinct in me not to reply to him. I can’t let my selfish needs get in the way of what’s best for him, though, and what’s best for him isn’t me. A single silent tear rolls from my eye without warning, and I brush it away quickly, hoping no one witnessed my moment of weakness.
Shaun is the first to put his phone down and close his eyes. Marcus and Simon are next, giving in to the need to sleep. Garrett stays awake longer. I can see that he’s reading something on his phone. Maybe a kindle book? It’s a long while before he turns his phone off and rolls on his side to fall asleep, so I’m surprised when Jared’s hand reaches up to grip mine from where he is laying on the floor in front of the couch.
I let him pull it down to rest on his chest and peer over the edge of the couch to see his sleepy eyes looking up at me.
“Try to sleep, Six.”
I shouldn’t keep holding his hand, but I do, and that’s how I fall asleep.
CHAPTER FOUR
I might just be feeling paranoid, but I’m fairly certain everyone is looking at me. I didn’t want to come to the boy's footy, but they weren’t taking no for an answer. Staying at home hidden away suited me much better than coming out into the world where my bruises are visible to everyone.
I’d overheard Marcus and Jared talking in the kitchen this morning when I was in my mum’s room getting dressed after my shower. They were worried about leaving me on my own and not just because my brother could show up at any time. I’m pretty sure they think I’m a nutcase.
They wouldn’t be wrong. I’m all kinds of fucked in the head right now, but I’m not a danger to myself… At least, I don’t think I am. My eyes move to my hands, where small scratches remind me of my meltdown in Mike’s room yesterday afternoon. I wonder how long I would have stayed in that crazed state if the boys hadn’t come over? Shit, maybe they’re right to be concerned.
“You cold Lex?” An arm wraps around me, and I welcome its warmth. Spring is due to start tomorrow, but you wouldn’t know it from the arctic blast hitting us today. I glance up to meet Garrett’s warm smile and push out a fake one in return. Garrett doesn’t smile often, so when he gifts me one, I always return it.
“It’s bloody freezing today.” I tug on my black beanie, making sure my ears are covered.
“You want my coat?” Garrett asks, and I immediately shake my head. He looks warm in the puffy coat he wears.
“So, what did you do to your finger, anyway?” I shift the attention to Garrett’s finger, which is taped up and secured to a metal rod to keep it straight. I hadn’t wanted to pry yesterday when I saw it, but I have no problem prying today. Like I’ve said before, I’m good at
