Those words have replayed over and over in my head for days now. So too has the text message he sent me on Sunday night.
Ayden Mitchell
I’m so fucking sorry!
I wanted to tell him it was okay, but I didn’t. It would have been a lie. It’s not okay that he promised he would protect me from anyone hurting me, only to be the one to hurt me the most. I get it. He was pretty fucked in the head at the time, and I really had no right to go into his parent's room to see him after I was told not to, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Even though it’s only been five days since I’ve seen or spoken to him, it feels like a lifetime. As much as my heart aches for Ayden, I’m not all that keen to lay eyes on him yet, especially if he’s parked outside my house like a creepy fucking stalker. This shit has to stop. Now!
Turning on my phone torch, I pick up the baseball bat propped next to the front door and quietly step out into the chilly night. My eyes shift to Valarie’s bedroom window, and I see the silhouette of my nosey twelve-year-old neighbour as she follows my movements. With her bedroom located at the front corner of her second-story box-like house, she has the prime location to see my house and the rest of the street.
Taking a deep breath, I push forward with determination and approach the car. Darkness casts a shadow inside, but I can still make out the masculine figure of a male sitting behind the steering wheel. It’s clear whoever is in there notices my approach because they start shifting around in the seat.
Rounding the back of the car, I come to stand by the driver's door and tap on the window not so gently with the bat before shining my torchlight in through the glass.
Marcus Grady. Marcus fucking Grady sits in the car looking up at me like a deer in headlights.
“What the fuck!” I tap the window again, and Marcus opens the door, looking up at me.
“Ah, hey Lex.” His dark hair looks longer than usual, like he’s skipped his regular haircut. It’s also a little messier, but that’s probably from sleeping in a car like a stalker.
“What are you doing?”
“Um… I was just coming to see how you are.” Marcus glances at the bat in my hand, worry contorting his face. Good, he should be fucking worried. I shove the bat in his face just to make a point.
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Marcus!”
“Jesus, Lexi,” he puts his hands up to fend off my threatening assault before hitting the bat away, frowning. “You planning on hitting me with that?”
“If you keep lying to me, then you can bet your balls I’m going to hit you with it!”
Marcus sighs and runs his hands through his hair in frustration, messing it more.
“I’m just here to keep an eye on things, Lexi. I just want to make sure you’re not alone if your brother comes back.”
Well shit. I hadn’t even considered that would be his reason. I don’t know why. It makes perfect sense. He is my friend, after all. I guess I’m just so paranoid right now that I’m expecting everyone to turn into a monster.
“It’s been you out here every night?” My voice is soft and portrays my weak emotions. Emotions I’ve done a damn good job at shoving down from the moment I stepped on the train to come back to Fox Pines.
Marcus shakes his head, “No, not just me. The guys have been taking turns each night as well.”
“The guys?”
“Simon, Gaz, Shaun and Jar.” Marcus looks up at me from his seat in the car, and I see the honesty in his brown eyes.
The boys from our circle of friends have been the ones sitting outside my house each night? I’m not sure what to make of that, but it does weird things to my insides, and I suddenly miss each one of them. A tear slips from my eye before I can stop it.
For fuck’s sake, I’d been doing so well for days until Marcus turns up and shows me the slightest bit of compassion, transforming me into a stupid prissy girl again. Ugh!
Marcus swings his legs out of the car, and I step back so he can stand, towering over me like most people do. He doesn’t say anything but reaches out and gently pulls me to his chest. I don’t refuse the comfort he is offering and silently let a few more tears fall before fighting them back. I’m sick of crying. I don’t want to shed any more tears over this fucked up situation.
I’m not used to being on the receiving end of Marcus’s cuddles. He smells nice, like spicy cinnamon, but it’s not the same as Ayden, and his chest doesn’t seem as firm as Ayden’s does either. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of Ayden right now. The main reason being that it rips my heart open each time I do, but the other is because Ayden isn’t the one here, checking on me and wanting to make sure I’m safe.
Pulling back, I look up at Ayden’s cousin and take in the concern etched across his face.
“Were you planning on staying out here all night?” I ask.
“Yeah.” Marcus doesn’t elaborate.
I sigh. “Come inside. If you’re staying all night, you may as well stay in the house where it’s warm.”
Marcus shifts nervously, looking over the top of the car at my house. “Ah… no, that’s okay. I can just stay out here.”
“Jesus Marcus, I don’t bite. Come on.” I don’t wait for him to reply and start walking briskly back towards my house. Apparently, wearing my PJ shorts and Metallica t-shirt outside is a bad idea on a chilly August winter night.
The squeak
