That had been Lara’s idea. Since coming up with the right words at the right moment can be hard, Lara had pointed out, why not write the words ahead of time? The speech app was perfect for it.
And so Caroline tapped the first of her preprogrammed speeches. “I need you to listen to me.”
Micah’s eyebrow arched up in surprise, but he nodded. “Sure, Caro.”
Caroline didn’t feel much like Caro at the moment. But then, Caro was Micah’s friend who couldn’t stand up to him. Today she had to be different. She had to be Bossy Caroline, as Lara put it.
Tapping her foot just a little bit, she pulled up the next speech:
“I like being your friend and I want to keep being your friend. But I don’t like pulling pranks on people. It’s mean and scary and it got me in trouble. I wish we could do things together that aren’t just pulling pranks on Marissa or other people. Thank you for listening and I hope you still want to be my friend.”
She had written the whole thing last night, doing her very best to select the right words. Although she’d considered making her explanation longer, ultimately she decided that this was enough. It had to be enough. Lara had given it her stamp of approval, after all.
Caroline listened to her own words and her leg-tapping intensified. This had to work and Micah had to listen to her. Didn’t he?
Her computer voice stopped speaking, but Micah did not respond right away. He looked, Caroline had to admit, thoroughly confused by the whole thing.
“I thought you liked the pranks,” he said. “My brothers and I always prank each other and it’s fun.”
This time, the right words came quickly. “I am not your brothers.”
“Yeah, your hair is a little on the long side. Um . . . if I’m being honest, I didn’t know you felt that way. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
Figuring out what to say next required all of Caroline’s concentration, but she was ultimately pleased with what she came up with. “I didn’t know how. Now I do.”
“Okay,” Micah said. He returned to his drawing.
Caroline frowned. What did he mean, okay? Okay, they were still friends? Okay, but I’m going to continue doing pranks anyway? She did not know and she did not like it.
“What do you mean? Okay what?” she pressed him.
“It’s okay that you don’t want to do pranks. But I do.”
Then, nothing.
Caroline stared at her tablet screen and thought long and hard. Although she wanted to ask him if they were still friends, she did not. Lara’s words came back to her. If he doesn’t want to be friends anymore, then good riddance.
But . . . Micah had been a good friend, at least some of the time. They’d had their texts and their lunches and sitting together in art class.
It had been nice, having a friend.
An ache worked its way through Caroline’s chest—small yet sharp.
It hurt. Part of her wanted to tell Micah that she hadn’t meant it, that of course she wanted to continue doing stuff with him! Wasn’t it worth it, if she could keep having him as a friend?
No. It wasn’t worth it. Bossy Caroline knew what she wanted, and she’d said it out loud. She could not un-say it now. Sighing, Caroline picked up her pencil and returned to her sketch.
So, maybe she didn’t have Micah anymore. But she looked around the room full of kids. Marissa and her friends were there, but they weren’t the only ones. Surely someone else could be her friend. Someone who wouldn’t ask her to do terrible things to other people.
She would just have to try again.
Caroline turned to the quiet girl who often sat across from her and Micah. They usually said hello, but rarely anything else. Maybe today could be different.
“Hi,” Caroline said to the girl. “What are you making?“
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: THE FINAL MISSION
MISSION MAKE AMENDS:
1. Caroline
2. Benny
3. Noah
4. Aviva
5. Dad (?????)
Lara looked over her list. At the very least, she felt satisfied-ish with her progress. After all, she had officially Made Amends with almost everyone.
But then there was Dad. Just looking at his name on her list gave her a mild stomachache.
Caroline peered over her shoulder. (Lara very nicely chose not to comment on her sister’s poor manners. She was Making Amends, after all.) “You need to talk to Dad,” Caroline informed her.
Lara frowned. Slightly. “I know that. I’m just waiting for the right opportunity.”
That response merely earned her a Look from Caroline. She probably deserved it.
“Come on,” Caroline prodded her. “I think he’s downstairs right now.”
Hands flapping at top speed, Lara searched for a good-sounding excuse for why she couldn’t possibly talk to Dad at this very moment. The only thing she came up with was the rather queasy state of her stomach. But that wasn’t really a good excuse, was it?
She considered Caroline. At the moment her sister was staring at her tablet, but Lara felt the weight of her gaze nevertheless. Her sister had stood up to the boy who was her only friend in the world, outside of their own family. From what Lara gathered, it hadn’t gone too well. But Caroline stood up for herself anyway. That took serious bravery—the real kind, not the spying-on-your-family kind. Surely Lara could also be really and truly brave.
“Fine,” she mumbled.
Finding Dad’s precise location did not require any significant powers of deduction. The smells coming from the kitchen—cheesy, spinach-y smells—told Lara exactly where to find him.
Disrupting Dad when he was in chef mode was, generally speaking, a no-no. Maybe Lara should try again later.
No, a voice said in her head. You have to do this now. The voice sounded rather like Caroline’s.
So Lara approached her father, words and fears and possibilities running through her brain like a bad headache.
“Oh,
