She swiped the tissue over her cheeks. “But no matter what horrible things he said to you, you stood proud and didn't falter. You defended yourself and your... boyfriends.” She stumbled on the word, but pride surged through me.
“They're more than that, Mom. They're family.” I gave Richard and Matthew a wink.
I felt her gaze upon me. I met her stare.
“Oh. Like married?”
Richard laughed. I glanced back in time to catch Matthew cover Richard's mouth with a small hand.
Matthew gave her a charming smile. “Uh, ma'am, your son wasn't always the marrying kind. For him to say family is a big deal to us.”
She nodded. When she spoke again, her voice was a low whisper. “I know you might need some time, but if you'd let me, I'd like to get to know them. I'd like to get to know you.”
“I'm gay. I'm living with two men. And I've helped to get your husband arrested.”
“None of those statements are news to me, son.”
Matthew giggled. The sound muffled in short order as I presumed a large hand covered his mouth.
“Mom, I won't be anyone but who I am. If you can handle that, then I'm open to trying to get to know each other again.”
Her lower lip quivered, but she held back more tears. “You're a good man, Lukas Moore.” She stood and came to me. She brushed a few loose strands of hair off the side of my face, reminiscent of my nights as a small boy when she'd tuck me into bed. “Your father lost himself along the way. I pretended it didn't matter. I'm sorry I was blind to who you really are.”
I stood and held her in my arms. I let the tears I promised myself I'd never show her come.
She wiped at my eyes and cupped my face in her hands. “Now, before I go, can I meet your boys? Make it more official this time?”
I led her to the couch. Richard and Matthew stood, and they smiled at me with love and affection in their eyes. There was a time when having that expression visible to someone other than the three of us would have bothered me. Not any longer. My mother seeing it was essential and fitting.
“Mom, Richard Marshall.”
Richard held out a hand.
For a moment, she seemed hesitant. Then she stepped forward and hugged him. “You're his protector?”
“I try to be.”
“It's good for a mother to know her son has someone looking after him. Please take care of him.”
“Always.”
I wrapped an arm around Matthew. “And this is Matthew Stewart.”
She turned and hugged him too. “And you're sweet and lively. I think my Luke needs that in his life.”
“And addictive,” I said.
“Right,” Richard said. “Don't forget addictive.” I laughed with him.
Matthew rolled his eyes. She released him and gave his arm a pat before stepping away.
Richard pulled him close and kissed his temple. I was glad to see they weren't holding back in front of my mother. I wouldn't have asked them to do any different, to be anything but themselves.
She sat and fumbled for her purse beside the chair. She removed a new tissue and stabbed at her eyes.
“Is something wrong?”
“Oh, no, no.” Her hands fell to her lap. “For once, it's right. You have a family. Jokes, laughter, love. It's all I ever wanted for you. When you told us you were gay, I never thought you'd have any of this. It's nice to see you in your home with your family.”
If she could accept them, accept me, then I had a chance at having a mother again. I'd never have a father, but I would have a family. It was more than I ever thought I'd have.
I walked her to the door.
“Will you keep in touch?” she asked.
“I'll try.” Remembering to call on Mother's Day or any other day of the year wasn't something I'd had to do in a long time.
“And I'll try to be the mother you deserve.” She moved for the open door but stopped short. “I'd like you all to come for dinner. I'm going to move. I can't stay at the house after... ” She patted my arm. “Please think about it. I'll call, and you can let me know.”
“Thanks for asking. I'll see what the guys say.”
She gave me a kiss on the cheek and left. I watched her walk to her car and closed the door after she drove off. My hand gripped the doorknob. I couldn't let go. If I gave up on the death grip, then I might have to let go of everything. The anger. The hatred. The betrayal. Am I ready for that?
Laughter poured out of the living room.
Yeah, I'm ready.
I found Matthew and Richard lying on the couch, kissing, touching, loving on each other.
“I think she likes us,” Richard said.
Matthew laughed. “Uh-huh.”
I tried to hide my smile. “Get your asses up to the bed, or it's the dining room table all over again.”
“God, no.” Richard groaned and stood. “Besides, I have a surprise.”
Chapter Forty-one
I stepped out of the cab and let the smile build, let the anticipation flow through me. A night out to fill the ache, the burning inside me.
It was exactly what I needed.
Only it wasn't the ache of loneliness or misery. It was the ache of knowing, with everything I was, what I wanted. I had no doubts, no fears, no inhibitions.
I stepped inside and made my way to the bar. With my long absence from the club, there were many men I'd never seen before. Men I'd never been with. I didn't see any of them. I sat and sipped my water. I wasn't in a hurry. The men I'd find were going to give me everything I needed. The Haven never disappointed.
My gaze captured a dark-haired man walking toward the bar. He wore tight leather pants and
