“Well, maybe I can see about having the house updated so we can hook up the computer.” She knew that was unlikely, but she wasn’t in the mood to get into it with her son.
It had been a long day. She was exhausted. The last thing she needed was to end her night with a confrontation.
But Jason knew just how to push her buttons sometimes, and he didn’t let up.
“No, you won’t. You’re just saying that so I’ll get off your back.” He picked up a rock in the yard—if you could call the span of gravel and rickety carport a yard—and threw it into the bushes. “You never follow through except when it’s to your advantage.”
Gritting her teeth, Lucy stood there. When he was little, she would have given him a spanking. Tears burned the backs of her eyelids. When he was little, he would never have talked to her this way. Her sweet baby boy had changed when he hit puberty, and he’d gotten worse, so much worse, after Gary left.
Damn Gary. Damn him to hell and back for doing this to them, to their sons. The man was an insensitive jerk, a loser with a bimbo for a girlfriend. He never saw his kids, never took them for pizza, or a sleepover, or any of the things a father should do.
Lucy knew if she stayed here, she’d lose it. She’d snap at her son and things would only get worse. Rather than say another word, she marched into the house, grabbed her purse and keys and went back outside.
Jason’s attitude put her in a mood that made her fight to stay sane. He was just so angry at the world and he wore her thin at times.
Matthew followed after her. “Where ya going, Mom?”
“To the grocery. I’m all out of cleanser.”
“I wanna come, too.”
She opened the car door, realizing she’d forgotten her coat and it was cold outside. Not taking the time to go back in and get it, she slid onto the seat. “No, you have to stay here.”
“I don’t want to. He’s being a brat,” Matt said, talking through the open window.
“Jason, you go upstairs and unpack those boxes in your room. I want it done by the time I get back. And don’t you go picking on your little brother or else you’ll be sorry.”
Without a word, Jason stormed into the house. Matt stayed in the yard as she put the car in Reverse. His chin lowered a notch to his chest.
The tears she’d been forcing back threatened to fall as she watched her youngest son in the rearview mirror. He sat on the steps of the porch and dropped his chin in his hands. She should have taken him with her, but she needed some alone time.
Guilt assailed her. She had to be there 24/7 for her boys, but there were times when she just couldn’t do it all. She was only one person, and if she didn’t have a moment to herself, she wasn’t any good to any of them.
When she turned the corner, a thicket of pines blocked her view. The road had a patch of dirt from the river wash, and the front-wheel-drive Passat forged over the rough spot. She wiped her cheek with her fingertips, then switched on the heater.
If she hadn’t left her cell phone at home, she would have called her mother. Her parents lived in Sun Lakes, Arizona, and visited only during the warm seasons. They hated the cold winters in Idaho.
When Dad had retired from the telephone company, they’d moved from Boise to Arizona. It about killed Lucy to lose them, and it was the same for her parents, but they’d lived all their lives in Idaho, and now it was their turn to do what they wanted. Lucy didn’t think they’d ever fully moved past the death of her older brother; he’d drowned in an irrigation canal when he was four years old. Idaho was only a sore reminder to Mom and Dad.
Lucy drove past the High Country Motel, its lot filled with four-wheel drives. Bud had mentioned that was the place to trade gossip in town. With all those vehicles taking up spots, something good must have happened. For a moment, Lucy was vaguely curious. Then again, anything in a town like this could be made into something big just for the sake of conversation.
Sutter’s Gourmet Grocery came into view and she circled the block, still getting used to the parking setup. There were some empty spots down the middle of the low-traffic block, but she had to make sure she wasn’t facing the wrong direction.
Snagging her purse, she crossed her arms over herself to ward off the cold air of dusk. Inside Sutter’s, she was met by the aromas of soups in the deli section. Lentil among them, if she guessed right. She loved this grocery store. It was intimate, quaint and it lacked for nothing. The prices were on the steep side, though. No supersaver chains in Red Duck.
Near the entrance was the floral area, and the sweet fragrance of roses mingled with the heavenly scents of the soup. A newspaper rack lined the wall, along with the latest paperbacks.
She’d already been here once today, purchasing a few things for the house: toilet paper,
