12 Months to ' I Do '

part of the door frame was finished so above the door the glass panel was missing. It smelled of wood, like old wood, like the church did, and I knew now I would never be able to get married here as the last person I wanted to be reminded of on the wedding day was Malcolm. I did try to avoid using the loo there as much as possible as the door didn’t have a lock on the inside either, so anyone could have walked in. I would quickly run in and go trying to hold the door shut with my leg, just in case someone accidently tried getting in. This would be a regular occurrence on nights out on the town when I was over eighteen because pubs and nightclub toilets that I seemed to use never had locks on. You would either have to hold your leg up against the door whilst trying to pee and not get it everywhere, or always go to the loo with your friend so they could either come in with you or hold their foot under the door.

The church was on a busy main road and was opposite some fast-food places but would still look nice in photographs. I wanted the family to come for their opinion too as they were a big part of the day. But as soon as I walked in and thought of Malcolm, it definitely was not the place to get married. I think I had lost most of them anyway as soon as we walked through the door, as it was freezing, but it had a warmth to it as everyone was very welcoming and friendly. We were even offered tea, coffee and biscuits which was nice. My mum was loving it. They had a band playing right next to the alter and a girl singing who thought she was auditioning for a singing competition. It was a lovely church but I couldn’t shake Malcolm. It was like he was there watching me or maybe this time it was my nan or spirits; there were graves outside. I wish it had been spirits watching me at Malcolm’s and not him on a ladder watching me pee. I sang hymns and tried joining in even with the prayers but it was useless, this place was definitely a no-no.

I couldn’t gauge what the rest thought other than my mum, but to my relief, other than my mum, everyone hated it. Edward said that he had more fun counting the stiches on the back of a coat on the man stood on front of him. Oh well, at least we tried, but could safely say from this point a church was not an option.

Before I started the venue journey, I thought I was going to be so laid back about it. I know I didn’t have a clue what I exactly wanted, just somewhere pretty with appealing grounds, but when I started looking, I realised I wanted so much more.

1. Smoking area—I didn’t smoke any more unless very, very drunk but a lot of my friends and family did so a smoking area near the main reception room would be preferable. This was so guests wouldn’t be too far away from everything that was going on. It needed to be pleasant and sheltered with seating, but not too comfortable, so everyone spent most of their time outside, as you do need people to fill the area or you will look like you have no friends.

2. Toilets—As a woman with standards and slight OCD, the toilets had to be clean, spacious, as I may be wearing a big dress. Also, you need room to touch your make up, have a chat with friends etcetera. I once went on a coach trip to France which took forever. the toilets on the coach stank so I didn’t want to use them, so thought I would use the toilet when we got there. What I didn’t realise was it was only a booze/fag coach trip. Should have guessed as all the other passengers’ skin on their faces looked like it was made of leather and they all looked so old and had loads of deep lines around the mouth from too much sucking. So, when we got there, there was only a supermarket and the toilet was worse than ones I had seen in Hong Kong, when they were just holes in the ground. The walls looked like they were smeared with shit and there was no toilet seat. I was busting but ended up holding it until we got all the way home from France. So, as you can see the toilets had to be of an acceptable standard.

3. Accommodation—We had a lot of family coming to the wedding and they were not local, and our little two-bed terraced house had no room really for anyone to stay and no parking, as sometimes we even struggled having two cars. So, we either needed somewhere that had rooms onsite or places nearby that were reasonably priced and easy to get too.

All these things were important, but these were just general add-ons. This was without considering the actual ceremony room, reception and food.

Cutting weeks of hunting short and viewing many wedding venues later, we were virtually on the verge of giving up and eloping—if only we had done this at the start—but then as if by complete and utter chance, we found one that had all my boxes ticked. It had everything I wanted and more. We could have everything in one place, easier for us and guests so they wouldn’t need to travel. It would save money as wouldn’t need a posh wedding car. They do food and drinks packages as well and remember my priorities? Well, they were all covered. The toilets, well, they were roomy, bigger than the downstairs of my house. Big enough to fit a bride in a big dress and