I stared at the man waiting for us. Iwondered who he was. He looked like a hillbilly in jeans. He waseasily in his late sixties, wore his thinning gray hair scrapedinto a ponytail and wore a black vest over a white T-shirt. I hopedmy mom would never meet him. She would fall in love with him onsight. She not only has crazy taste in clothing, but her boyfriendscome from the human equivalent of the back of a truck.
He wore a shoulder holster and Irecognized the bulge of a gun under his left arm. He shookFrancois’ hand, and Ferric’s. He took mine, smiling at me. I becamemesmerized. I knew he was a badass. Holy cat. I hoped he never,ever got within sniffing distance of my mom.
Leilani turned to mush as he kissed herhand. Her fake eyelashes had fallen. One was tucked between herbreasts and the gunman retrieved it with nimble fingers, handing itto her.
She tittered. I wasn’t sure what wasworse—Leilani crying or tittering.
“The perps vanished,” theold guy said. Italian. Thick accent.
“Take what you need from thevehicle, I’ll get it dusted for prints and make sure it’s returnedto the rental agency.
“Thank you, Lars,” Francoissaid. “I owe you one.”
Lars? What the hell kind of name was that for an undergroundenforcer?
“Yeah, you do,” Lars said,opening his mouth into a smile that frightened me. I instantlythought of a crocodile. “I was glad to step in. Bad business when aman’s family gets carjacked.”
“My stopwatch is stillhere!” Ferric held it up to show me. I was pleased. The kid trulyhad his father’s talent for toys.
“Anytime you need something,call me.” Francois had one arm around me, the other around Ferric.I’d never seen my man so rattled.
“Gosh,” Leilani said as wetook our stuff out of the rental. “I’ve never met a genuine Mafiosobefore. Think he would like to come to the wedding?”
“No!” I said, but shegalloped over to the guy before I could stop her.
“Why not, Dad?” Ferricasked.
“Your grandmother will fallfor him,” I said, feeling gloomy. Great, now I’d have to watch herlike a hawk for the entire day.
“Grandma needs some,” Ferricannounced. “Ever since my last granddad got arrested, she’s been abit lonely.”
Francois broke into a grin.
“And I hear Lars is packingsome heat in the pants department.”
I covered my ears. This was my motherwe were talking about.
Surprisingly, the weddingseemed to be progressing without any other calamities. The brideshad chosen a wonderful GLBT-friendly venue called Woodwinds. Fourdifferent weddings were going on at the same time. Ours got a lotof attention with the lavender theme and one bride running acrossthe emerald green lawn in a slip and pink bunny slippers to theother. Mele, I must say, made a gorgeous hula bride.
If I were to consider bedding a woman,it would be Mele. Francois, who was now completely gay, never evenlooked at her. He kept his sights on me and Ferric, who also seemedto crush on Mele. I saw his eyes flutter with pleasure when sheclasped him to her perfect, natural, bosomy breasts.
“Oh, geez.” Francois put hisarm around me. “The kid’s in trouble. He likes women.”
I laughed for the first time since Iwoke up that morning with Francois’ tongue licking a determinedpath down to my ass from the middle of my back.
“Mingo,” he said, when Ipressed my face into his big, hard body, pleased to touch it onceagain.
I couldn’t speak. The magnitude thatFrancois might have lost Ferric, and me, really hit me.
“If anything happened to youand Ferric, I want you to know, I wouldn’t want to live. I couldn’tlive anymore.” His voice, thick with emotion, flew to my heart. Heheld me tight as we watched all the women hugging and kissingFerric.
Mele came over to me,slipping her arms underneath Francois’ embrace and hugged me. Shesmelled wonderful. I knew the scent well, pikake.
“I’m glad you’re okay.Mingo, did your life flash before your eyes?”
“Yes,” I started tosay.
“Did you think aboutFrancois?”
How did I respond with Francoislistening?
I had thought about him, but not in theway she meant. I’d been worried about what he would do to me ifsomething happened to Ferric. I realized in that moment that Ihadn’t thought about maybe this being the last moment I would bewithout him because the thought was too painful. I knew I loved theman, but the heartbreak, the power my love for him could causeme…wow…no wonder I focused on the Repco boys’ bicycle..
I didn’t realize I’d said the wordsaloud. She stared at me. Francois laughed. Embarrassment flushed mycheeks.
“Oh, my God, Mingo,” my momsaid, materializing beside me, Lars beside her, shadowing her. Hisgun was evident underneath his form-fitting vest, but I noticed hehad a black jacket in his hands. Suddenly, he scared me.
My mom put her hands on her hips.“Mingo McCloud, are you still whining about that stupidbicycle?”
Chapter Two
The wedding went off without a hitch,unless you count the world’s most intrusive wedding videographerwho must have had a side career in porn. He was fond ofunder-the-body shots and he’d just suddenly be there the second youhad a mouthful of food. He was such a loon, he’d even dyed his hairlavender in honor of the brides.
Francois, Ferric and I stoodbeside Leilani who whispered, “You’re next,” as her bride walkeddown the aisle to her on her father’s arm. How in the world hemanaged to avoid the lavender Alohashirt puzzled me and annoyed Francois who’dstruggled against wearing his. The string quartet Mele had hiredplayed a mix of Hawaiianmelodies and the bridal waltz and it all seemed towork. I watched over my shoulder as Mele walked toward us andspotted Benny Leonard, the attorney Leilani and I frequently workedfor, sitting in the crowd. He gave me a finger wave. I stared athis lavender-hued yarmulke.
I froze when I glimpsed his companion.The shock of slick black hair could only mean one person. I wasabout to almost pee my pants for the second time thatday.
My ex-lover, Kaolin. I had no idea theywere back together. I caught Kaolin’s black eyes, saw the curve ofsmile on his face and relief flooded my stressed-out system. NotKaolin but a close body double.
Damn, that was close. I had
