Jenny’s expression was unreadable.
“Do you think I’m a bad person for doing all this?” The question was out before she could stop it, but right now it seemed very important to know the answer.
Jenny gazed at her for a few moments before answering. “Not bad, no. Maybe a little thoughtless?” She rubbed at the back of her neck. “It sounds like you did know how much this could hurt people, but you still did it anyway. And I get that it was for something he wanted badly and you were trying to help him. But it seems a big step to take, to risk alienating so many people if they ever found out. It seems almost…ruthless. And I’ve seen how fair and nice and supportive you can be, and I guess I can’t reconcile those two sides of you easily. I don’t know which is the real one.”
Tears pricked at Olivia’s eyes. “I understand. It would be easy for me to say I’m the nice one, but you’re right, I did do this thing where I lied to a lot of people.” She groped for the right words to explain it. “It was like being on a rollercoaster. It started slow and easy, nothing to be afraid of. He came to the UK on business for a month, so we made sure we started being seen out together. I dropped little hints into conversations with people about him, how wonderful he’d always been, and how lovely it was to spend more time with him while he was in the UK.”
“You told your mom the truth early on, or later?”
“Quite early. She loved Broderick, so she understood what we were trying to do, even though she didn’t fully approve.”
“Did you ever think to stop?”
Olivia sighed. “Once or twice, yes. But then it just built, got stronger, and in doing that, it got easier. It self-perpetuated. The more lies we told, the more we sold them, and the easier it was to navigate the big climbs in the ride. We got married, and a few months later he got a fantastic sponsorship deal; we were so proud of ourselves. We’d done it! We’d fooled them all. There was a kind of exciting rush to it, like swooping down the next big arc on that rollercoaster.”
“Yeah, I guess I can see that.” Jenny’s expression was blank, as if she didn’t want to give away what she actually thought.
Olivia’s stomach clenched. “But then more big climbs came at us, ones that we never anticipated. I struggled to find a permanent job. His mom kept talking about grandkids. We started to make the odd mistake here and there.”
“Really? Like what?”
“Oh God, silly things.” Olivia cringed. “We were at a sponsor event the week after he signed the deal and had briefly become separated during the welcome drinks. It was a fantastic venue overlooking the Hudson. I was chatting to the wife of another driver, and without thinking said, ‘Gosh, this place would be wonderful for a wedding. I’ll have to remember that if I ever get married.’”
Jenny snorted. “Oh shit!”
“I know!” Olivia’s cheeks burned with the memory. “Her face was priceless—thankfully, it was her expression that clued me in on what I’d said, and I quickly covered it by saying, ‘Oh, I meant if my sister ever gets married.’”
“You don’t have a sister.”
“I know! But she didn’t know that, so the moment was saved.” Olivia took a long drink of her beer. “The more we made those mistakes, the more his mother talked about kids, the more it all started to feel like it was teetering out of control, that our rollercoaster might come off the rails at the next big bump.” She exhaled loudly. “And it turned out the next big bump was you.”
To her intense relief, Jenny smiled. “No one’s ever called me that before.”
Olivia dared to inch a little closer to her. “I totally get it might be difficult to know if I’m trustworthy. But I suppose all I can do is keep answering your questions, keep working at proving to you that I’m the woman you’ve come to know the last few months. I’d love to ask you out on a date.”
Jenny’s cheeks pinked, and her expression softened yet further.
“A real, proper date,” Olivia said. “Where we can get to know each other, find out what we were like as children, what our favorite foods are and all that. I want to walk with you in a park somewhere, holding hands, hearing you tell me the story behind that photo on your desk. I want to know why you have a Pittsburgh Steelers helmet and why you insist on dyeing your hair a different color every week.” She grinned when Jenny chuckled. “And I want to kiss you again because that kiss, in that grubby room behind the stage at the Excelsior, was a kiss I really didn’t want to end.”
It was as if a dam had burst within her. She’d been so adept at locking up her feelings, not expressing what she felt about anything over the last two years. Now, she couldn’t stop. She was terrified Jenny wouldn’t give them a chance, that she’d walk away deeming Olivia too much trouble to be bothered with.
“That’s just playing dirty again,” Jenny said, but her crooked smile sent a wave of relief washing through Olivia.
“Just being honest.” Olivia’s voice was a rough croak.
Jenny drained the last of her beer. “Can I use your bathroom?”
“Sure.” Olivia’s heart thudded. Was this a precursor to Jenny leaving? “It’s through the bedroom, which is the first door on your left when you go back out to the hallway.”
“Okay.” Jenny stood and left the room.
Olivia watched her go, trying to quell the sinking feeling in her belly.
Jenny slowly washed
