“It’s okay!” Charlie’s voice bounced down the hall. “We’ll clean it up!”
Eighteen months and I was still scrambling to fill Natalie’s shoes.
The kids were falling apart.
So was the house.
And me?
I didn’t have time to worry about me. I needed to hold it together and keep things normal for the kids. (As normal as possible, anyway.) They lost their mom and I’d be damned if I let them lose everything else too. They needed consistency and if that meant running around like a madman trying to fill both roles, then so be it.
My children deserved it.
The doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of the sitter, and I groaned. “Please let them be good,” I whispered to my reflection before sprinting to the door and hauling it open.
The teenager I’d hired to watch the kids jumped in surprise, her eyes wide as she tore her gaze from her phone. “Oh! Mr. Cooper. Hi. You scared me.” She peered over my shoulder, concern drawing her brows together as she sniffed the air. “Is something burning again?”
***
A knock on my office door had me checking the time. My appointment with the Tarringtons wasn’t for another half hour, though they were often early—usually in an attempt to talk to me about their still-single daughter, Lisa. They meant well, but damn. The last thing I needed was someone else in my life to worry about. If I had my way, I’d never get serious about anyone again. Casual dating? Sure. Maybe. But not for a while. The kids didn’t need me any more distracted than I already was.
I downed the last of my second cup of coffee. “Come in!”
Instead of portly Isaac Tarrington and his pencil thin wife, Gwen, Jude Malone swung open the door and leaned against the frame. He and I had been friends since middle school, along with our buddies Austin O’Connor and Alex Prescott. The four of us had gotten into our fair share of trouble over the years, usually because of one of Jude’s ‘great’ ideas.
“Damn, Jack. You look like shit. And you smell like—” he wrinkled his nose “—burnt toast?”
“Pancakes.” I sniffed my shirtsleeves and sure enough, I stank. Great. I quirked a brow at Jude. “Everything okay?”
He looked baffled by the question. “Why wouldn’t they be okay?”
“Because it’s nine o’clock and you’re not exactly a morning person. And last I checked, you don’t work here. Just doin’ the math.”
“I had to pop into Cheers ‘n Beers and check on the ads I’ve got running, then look at inventory. You know, the boring owner stuff that’ll steal my soul if I let it. I’ll tell ya. If younger me knew what really went into running a bar, I never woulda opened the place. Thought I’d drop in on my way and be the bright spot in your otherwise boring morning. I don’t know how you talk about numbers all day and don’t lose your mind.” He flashed me the smile he’d dubbed the ‘pantydropper’ and I shook my head.
“Did I miss something?” I looked over my shoulder, then down at my chest. “Did I turn into a woman over night? ‘Cause I could swear you’re hitting on me. Showing up at my office on your way to work. To be the bright spot in my day.” I made air quotes as Jude scoffed.
“It’s been a while, man. Since the only place anyone ever sees you is here…” He ran a hand through his blond hair, then jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Tabitha said you had a few minutes, so I came on back.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you trying to say you missed me? Is that what this is all about?”
Jude huffed as he pushed off the wall. “Fuck, man. Life misses you.”
Ahhh, that old chestnut. Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. When I glanced up, my friend held up his hands, palms out.
“Look, Jack…” He stepped forward, “I know it’s hard without Natalie, but you can’t keep going like this. You work. You go home. You repeat. It’s no way to live. You know she’d hate to see you so…I don’t know. Shut down.”
“I don’t have much of a choice, now do I? Being a single dad is really hard. I’m exhausted all the time, just trying to keep things normal for the kids.”
“Maybe, and I’m just shooting in the dark here, but maybe it’s time to stop holding on to what used to be normal. Maybe it’s time for a new normal.” He grinned like he’d just delivered an epic piece of advice. “I know. Let that sink in a little. I’m fucking brilliant.”
“Believe me, this normal is new. Nothing I’ve been doing for the last year and a half feels the way it should.”
And I hated it.
As Jude looked shocked to learn his brilliant advice wouldn’t solve my problems, Tabitha appeared behind him. “The Tarringtons are here. Early, as usual.” She gave me a sympathetic smile and Jude a ‘please fuck me in the conference room’ onceover, then turned and walked away.
“I’ll let you get back to work, but not before I tempt you with an irresistible offer.” Jude’s eyes lit up the way they always did when he had a great idea. “Everyone’s gonna meet up at Cheers ‘n Beers tonight. You should join us.” He held up his hands and dipped his head. “If you can get free.”
“If I can get free.” I couldn’t. We both knew it, but hey, a guy could hope.
“And if you can’t, you’ll be at Evie and Alex’s party on Friday, right? I’ve heard her friend is half crazy. Should be fun to welcome her to town.”
It was right there. On the tip of his tongue.
