After taking them into the back room and introducing them to her assistant, Charlotte, she had hung up their coats, trying to ignore the tell-tale smell of the charity shop that wafted from them along with the scratches and stains. She settled Ethan and Linda at the chalk station and the rest of the afternoon had gone as planned. At the end of the session the room had begun to empty.
Flora felt elated as each family who left seemed excited to return. Squeezed budgets and over-worked teachers meant that the mainstream education system was failing children with autism. Consequently, many autistic children found it hard to integrate and have a normal life. Flora had been determined to do her part and had fought tooth and nail against the odds to open her centre, a place with the tools that could help autistic children to express themselves in a world that seemed unable to accept them because they did not conform or act ‘normal’. Flora had seen so many parents gaze in wonder when previously hidden depths in their children were revealed as they began to communicate and develop by being given an alternative way to express themselves.
Flora went to lock the door, when movement in the corner of her eye stopped her. Linda and Evan were still where she had sat them earlier, at a table allocated for chalk painting. Ethan’s head was down, his tongue pointed out at the corner of his mouth, his now dry black hair tucked out of his way behind his ear. He was utterly absorbed in his task. Linda had her back to the table, looking down at her lap, seemingly lost in thought. Her short black hair was covering her eyes as she looked down, picking at a hole in her faded black shirt.
‘I am sorry, Linda. I didn’t see you both there. Time’s up I’m afraid, the session is finished now.’
Linda looked up and Flora had been shocked to see tears were tracking down her face. The pain and desperation in her eyes pinned Flora to the spot. In the light, Flora could see how gaunt she was, her cheekbones jutting out. Her eyes were sunken into her face with large dark circles underneath that only the severely fatigued and malnourished could achieve.
‘Linda, is everything okay?’
Linda didn’t answer straight away, she just stared at Flora. The silence became deafening and Flora was about to insist that they leave when Linda spoke in a quiet voice. ‘I just want the best for my boy.’
‘I can understand that.’ Not sure where this was going, Flora pulled a chair over from another table until she was sat opposite Linda.
‘You don’t understand, though. Look at me, I can’t afford a place like this for Ethan. I can’t even afford new clothes.’
Flora’s face burned hot. Linda’s shirt had most likely been as black as night at some point but was now a faded dirty grey and stretched from being washed too often. It hung off her too skinny frame denoting the size she used to be. All of a sudden it hit Flora like a ton of bricks. She knew where this was going. Aware of what was coming next, she panicked trying to work out what she could say. Her brain was firing random words that she tried to piece together into a placatory answer. She wished she could help but if she gave one person a free place, then how could she justify charging everyone else?
‘Listen, Linda, I’m sorry but…’
Linda cut her off. ‘Don’t. Just don’t. I know it was stupid of me to come when I can’t afford to send Ethan here. But I just thought.’ Tears choked her off. She cleared her throat and continued. ‘I just thought if you could see Ethan, meet him… you’d wanna help. I saw your advert on the internet and watched videos on your website. Read the reviews from parents whose children have “thrived” here.’ She looked around at the room with longing in her eyes. ‘I couldn’t help myself. I brought him here knowing I couldn’t afford it. But I had to come just in case there was the slightest chance you might help us. I had to do that for my boy. The school he’s in, they don’t know how to help him. They talk about getting him in-class support or moving him to a special school, but they pass his case from pillar to post. They don’t care about him.’
She looked imploringly at Flora again. ‘I work three jobs just to put food on the table,’ Linda added with an it-is-what-it-is shrug which told Flora she did not say this to garner sympathy. ‘I can’t afford a special needs school for him. I can’t do anything apart from watch my talented, clever boy be let down by ignorant people. Each day he comes back from school, he loses a bit more of his sparkle. You know what I mean? I am spending so many days holding him on the floor as he screams because his senses are just overwhelmed. He can’t communicate with me. With anyone. He needs your help. Please, is there any way that you can help us?’
Again, Linda carried on before Flora could respond. ‘Mind, I don’t want to be a charity case. I can’t afford the price of each session, but I can afford to pay something towards it. I could work for you as well? I can clean. Do you need a cleaner? Anything you need I can do it. Just please don’t say no.’
The hope that shone in Linda’s eyes broke Flora’s heart. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She looked at Ethan. He was smudging the white chalk to make smoke from a chimney. It stopped her from saying what the sensible side of her brain was screaming at her to say. Her heart was already picturing welcoming Ethan to the group for free. So, Flora had taken
