I watched his back as he ran one hand through his hair. Sex didn’t seem to be a stress relief for him—it had somehow created more anxiety.
Tears sprang to my eyes and I wiped them away. I pulled on my shorts then turned to look at him, still facing away from me.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered again, because I didn’t know what else to say. What had just happened between us and what was going through his mind right then was a mystery to me.
My tortured Maverick.
I knew then I’d never save him.
The realization that I’d wanted to all this time was like a bullet to my heart.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Maverick
I hadn’t seen Poppy in two weeks.
Every day I ordered flowers from The Flower Patch for the beautiful owner. And I paced the floor with thoughts of her on my mind.
Two weeks.
I stopped eating, like a broken fucking dog that’d just lost his life’s companion after our frenzied fuck in the Rover. I’d lost everything—again.
Two weeks.
This pain was the reason I kept people at bay, because in my experience, outside of raising Aspen, I found people only had a way of hurting people.
I liked this ridge to myself, nature was unfussy and without complications, the seasons came and went, Winchester at my side and Aspen visiting every now and again...I was happy.
I’d been a fool to risk that happiness for Poppy. She was too good to be true from the start—the darkness I’d carried since losing Aspen’s mom was unbearable, but somehow, losing Poppy hurt in a fresh way because I’d handed her the key to my heart.
I’d only ever been with two people—first Aspen’s mom, and now Poppy.
The more haunted the nights grew.
I’d taken to walking the halls until dawn, when the violent strains of classical music weren’t pounding in my head like a horror show symphony. Aspen’s mom had loved classical when I’d only ever thought of it as noise on my ears—now it seemed I'd never escape it.
By day fifteen without Poppy, my head was pounding and I was delirious with exhaustion and memories and perpetual violin notes that I wasn’t even sure were real. I’d lost track of the days, but not of her—Poppy’s soft laugh rang in my ears.
I needed to see her but I hated her for leaving—for proving me right.
I hated myself for letting her in—her dad for intruding—the world for taking everything I loved away from me.
Rain cut down the floor-to-ceiling windows, the sound pulling me outside because being out in the wild was the only thing that ever made sense to me.
“Please,” I pushed a hand through my hair, “please let her be okay—even if she doesn't come back—make sure she’s happy.”
The rain slid down my cheeks, pelting my shoulders and drenching me to the bone as my thoughts swirled about Poppy and the past and the future.
“Petal,” I hummed, conjuring the taste of her in my mind. I inhaled once, blinking away the fog that always clung to the ridge as a figure in white stepped out of the shadows.
“Mav—”
My heart sank, my knees gave out and I dropped.
“Maverick—are you okay?” She appeared out of the mist, as real as ever in my arms.
I pressed my lips to her hips, yanking her to me to be sure she was real flesh and bone. “Petal, you’re back, you came back, thank God.”
“I’m here but are you?” She dropped to her knees, cradling my cheeks in her palms and swiping at the rain that cut down my cheekbones.
“I should’ve come for you.”
“No, Maverick, I had to work things out with my dad. He gets it now, I mean, well—he still thinks I’m insane to love you, but he respects me. The Rover helped, too. I think you’ve proven yourself, Maverick Wright. I didn’t need it, but my dad did. Thank you for giving me that.”
“Petal—it’s been hell without you. I think I lost my mind a few times.”
Soft tears were charging at her eyelids now. “Maverick, why do you torture yourself?”
“I fuck everything up, I'm going to keep fucking things up, it’s what I do best, Petal, but I also promise I’ll take care of you—you just can't leave like that.”
“I had to talk to him, he was so afraid you’d hurt me I think he had to make sure I was really okay. The house overflowing with flowers all day every day irritated him, but when he saw the new car in the driveway the next morning...I think he knew he’d been beat.”
I grunted, the disdain that man had for me was unreal.
“He’s trying to be better. He told me all about what happened when you were kids, how you were close and then what happened in high school, he even showed me these old letters—”
“Letters?”
“Between my mom and...well—long story short, deep down in his own weird way he blames you for my mom leaving.”
“What?!” I moved to stand but her hands at my biceps kept me grounded.
“I’m sorry I was gone so long, but I'm glad. We needed the time together and we both worked so much. I think it took something big like this to force us to confront stuff from the old days.”
“Sounds dramatic,” I said.
“It was very dramatic,” she wrapped her arms around my neck and hummed against my lips, “but you’re good at that, so I know you understand.”
I breathed her in, so damn grateful to have this woman back in my arms again. “Look at me that way and I’ll kiss the smile right off your lips.”
Her grin only widened. I took it as my invitation and attacked her lips, slow and steady at first, all of my pent up frustration that she’d been gone so long coming out in the deft movements of my hands against her skin. My lips trailed down her neck and I sucked
