With the last brushing kiss, I forced my eyes open again and found his heavy gaze piercing me. If this was how it was gonna be, he could hurt me forever. I was powerless.
He jerked his chin toward the exit, and I nodded dumbly.
I followed him as the knot in my stomach both grew tighter and doubled in size.
Was I gonna have to remind my brother that he was into women?
Seemed like something people would remember, their own sexuality.
The summer heat outside offered no relief whatsoever, and I could feel my drunkenness shifting over to the part of the night when it was time to wind down. If I drank any more now, I’d just get sick. Maybe I still would. I was starting to get woozy.
I needed to take a leak too. It was a wonder we hadn’t broken the seal yet.
Boone kept walking until we were almost back to the start of the Strip, near the Hershey store. On the last stretch of the side street that was somewhat quiet, he stopped and faced me.
“Can you trust me enough not to ask any questions about this?” he asked.
Uh. “You expect me to let—”
“Yeah.” He took a step closer to me. “I need you to trust me to not hurt you again, but I’m not ready to talk. All I know is that if you walk outta my life again, I’ll be done for. I gotta have you close—ridiculously close, evidently.”
Ridiculously close.
Kinda hard not to feel reassured by that, despite that it didn’t tell me what he actually meant. I folded my arms over my chest, a weak attempt to protect myself, maybe, and I stared at the ground, trying to get my brain to function.
“I know I’m asking a lot, Case.”
I snorted softly. I’ll say. He could push me to invite him to live with me, he could drag painful confessions out of me, apparently he could kiss me too, but I wasn’t allowed to ask anything in return?
Perhaps it didn’t matter. I’d already admitted to myself that I didn’t stand a chance against him.
He came even closer, and it made me hyperaware of his proximity. When less than a foot separated us, I stiffened as he grazed his lips along my jaw. Part of me couldn’t believe it was happening. After so many years of hating my own feelings, of fantasizing about what it would be like to feel his beard tickling my neck, of wondering how it’d be to make out with him, suck his cock, fuck him, get railed by him—shit. I had to stop those thoughts.
“You make me lose my goddamn mind,” he murmured.
I drew an unsteady breath and tilted my face toward his. “Yeah, feeling’s mutual, buddy.”
He smirked faintly right before he captured my mouth in a kiss. It melted me in a second and shot desire down my body, but the pleasure was short-lived. The second I closed my eyes, I was overcome by a dizzy spell, and I clutched his arms.
“Shit.” I broke the kiss and swallowed hard.
“You okay?” He looked worried—and a little amused. “I forget you can’t handle your liquor like me.”
“Fuck you.” I stepped away from his personal space and leaned against the wall instead. “You’re a three-hundred-pound sponge.”
He let out a laugh and retrieved his phone. “Two seventy-five, actually. I’m getting us an Uber. You need food and a bed.”
Nope, nope, nope, I needed to barf. I pressed a fist to my mouth as nausea rushed up my throat.
Nine
He offered a hand.
I took his arm.
I couldn’t help it. Being welcomed back into his life gave me a reason to wake up in the morning. I clung to every word he said and watched his lips as he spoke. I registered his body language and every gesture, forcing me to pay attention to his physical appearance. The need kept growing stronger, and my obsession wasn’t going anywhere. I catalogued every feature. His trimmed beard, his intense eyes, the jokes and filth that came from his lips, his arms and thighs, his abs, his runner’s body and sleek muscles, his wolfish smirks and slanted grins.
I was losing it. Fast.
What the fuck was happening to me?
“Shh! Be quiet. I don’t want Ace to wake up.” I took a huge bite of my sandwich and leaned against the wall next to the door.
Boone shook his head and pulled out his keycard. “Then quit yelling.”
I wasn’t yelling. He was yelling.
With the door open, I stumbled inside and kicked off my shoes. The bathroom was right there—it had my name on it. I was as hungry as I was nauseated, so I figured I’d go in there and eat and puke. Rinse and repeat. Then shower. Man, I wanted a shower.
Ma appeared in the hallway, and I smiled widely and went over to hug her.
“Hey, Mom. How you doin’? Have I told you lately how much I love you?”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake. How much have you had to drink, sugar?”
“Two beers!” I let her go and took another bite from my sandwich. It was really good. Boone had picked it up for me while I’d waited in the Uber. Like a patty melt but on a baguette and with garlic butter and pickles. “By the way, some asshole threw up in the elevator.”
Mom shot me a look before she gave Boone a similar one, but with more annoyance. “What’s wrong with you? You know your brother can’t drink as much as you can. It’s your responsibility to look out for him.”
She was so right! I waved my sandwich at her. “Yeah, what she said.”
Boone turned incredulous. “What the hell? Last time I checked, he was a grown man.”
I shrugged and chewed on a mouthful of delicious food. “Admit it, you just wanted to drink me under the table so you could take advantage.” Ignoring Boone’s warning glare, I faced Mom again. “He put his tongue in my mouth,
