I’m not sure I know how to deal with that.
In fact, I don’t get any of it. If she’s been around as long as she implied, why would she give everything up to pretend she was human? The things she’s seen—the places she’s been. If that were me, I don’t know that I could give it up so easily. Even if I wanted to protect my child.
The concept is just too foreign.
I roll over, trying not to wake up Wade. I haven’t found a way to voice my suspicions about my sickness, and I don’t want to worry him if it’s really just anxiety. Yet, even as I think that, I know better. There’s a strange, horrifying realization settling into the back of my mind—maybe my gut—that tells me I need to be sure.
But if it’s true, it couldn’t be worse timing. The last thing either of us needs is to bring a child into the mix of a family curse brought on by the Fates.
My heartbeat quickens and I have to take slow deliberate breaths to settle my shallow, rapid inhalations.
If I am pregnant, what will happen to the child? Wade might be expelled from the Angel of Death legacy, but would his child? Would it skip his generation and simply fall onto our offspring? And if so—what would that mean to the Moirai? Would that connection protect him or her? Or would they still claim that child as a Blackwood? If they did end our child’s life, would that mean the human life has been forfeit but the baby still gets to ascend as an angel? Or would both of our bloodlines die out?
The possibilities make my stomach roll and I fight the urge to sit up in bed or race to the bathroom. I spend the next few hours, drifting in and out of an uncomfortable, restless sleep.
By the time morning comes, I barely feel as though I’ve fallen asleep at all. My mind is instantly on the possible pregnancy and the need to know for sure. For whatever reason, it feels like the one thing in this whole crazy, mixed-up life I can control. Even if that control is only an illusion.
“I think I’m going to take a walk, if that’s okay,” I announce as I bring my breakfast plate to the sink. If I can get out, I can walk down to the drugstore and get a pregnancy test.
Both Wade and my mom look up at me as if I’ve managed to grow horns on the top of my head.
“What?” I ask defensively.
“Well, it’s just—you haven’t said two words this morning,” Wade says, trying to smooth out his face. “It was just an abrupt shift.”
I run my fingertips across my forehead, nodding to myself. “Yeah, sorry. Just in my head a bit. Lots to mull over, you know? That’s why I thought a walk might do me some good.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” Wade asks, getting up from his seat.
I shake my head, reaching out for him. “No, stay. Sit. It’s okay. I need a few minutes.”
His expression turns doubtful. “Do you really think you should be out on the streets alone? I mean, after what happened last night with the woman…”
Shit, I hadn’t thought of that. Of all the things circling my brain at this particular moment, the woman and her connection to the Moirai were pushed further to the recesses of my mind. Which is bizarre in its own way, since the Moirai have been the only thing on my mind for weeks.
“I’ll go with her. I think we need a little time to talk,” Mom says, shifting back her chair and standing up. “Wade, would you mind taking a look at the television? It hasn’t connected to the Blu-ray player in ages and I’d love to bust out our stash of Christmas films tonight. It’s a Christmas Eve tradition in this house.”
Wade shifts his gaze from my mom back to me, a silent question lingering in his eyes.
Nodding my head, I say, “It’s okay. She’s right, we have a lot to talk about. Besides, I’d be useless with the Blu-ray thing.” I shoot him a smile, but I’m not certain it was very convincing.
His eyes narrow as he stands up and rests his hands on my arms. Looking deep into my eyes, he finally says, “Take your phone and if anything strange happens—”
I step forward, placing a kiss on his lips. “You’ll be the first I call.”
He watches me for a moment, but finally nods and turns to my mom. “All right, Andrea. Would you mind showing me this Blu-ray player you speak of?”
The two of them wander into the living room as she shows him the outdated electronic equipment. With the exception of watching Buffy reruns when I was younger, neither of us really spent much time watching television. It’s no wonder the thing isn’t working right.
After fifteen minutes of explanation and discussion, Wade is on the floor following cables and Mom walks over to me.
“Ready?” she asks, her voice soft.
I nod, reaching to grab my coat from the rack. She does the same and shrugs into it.
“We’ll be back soon,” I call out, putting my coat on. “Promise.”
Wade stands up and brushes off his knees. In four huge strides he stands in front of me. Without a word, he places his hands on either side of my face and bends forward. His lips press down on mine, making my skin tingle and my cheeks flush.
“You better,” he whispers, as he takes a step.
Mom turns away, reaching for the door handle and trying to pretend she didn’t witness any of that.
I grin, standing up on my toes and brushing my lips one last time against his.
Without another word, Mom
