She knew the answer to all these questions, and yet her answer to Jerard tomorrow would still be the same. She wanted to marry him.
She didn’t have a booking the next day, so she telephoned Simon and asked him if he could come over. She needed to talk to him, to get his opinion, even if the decision had already been made. He promised to come over in his lunchbreak.
She provided him with lunch, feeding Tony while they talked. ‘So what do you think?’ she asked anxiously once she had explained the situation to him.
‘What do you think?’
Velvet bit her lip. ‘I’m going to accept.’
‘I thought so,’ her brother nodded.
‘Well?’
‘What do you want me to say?’ he shrugged.
‘Do you think I’m doing the right thing?’
‘Do you?’
‘No,’ she sighed.
‘But you’re going to do it anyway.’
‘Yes.’
‘Because you love him.’
‘Yes.’
‘Then you have your answer,’ Simon said gently.
‘But he doesn’t love me,’ she cried. ‘He did once, but he doesn’t now.’
‘Did he tell you that?’
‘Yes.’ In Florida Jerard had been very explicit about his change of feelings towards her.
‘Then maybe you shouldn’t accept.’
‘But I want to!’
Simon bit his lip thoughtfully. ‘What do you want me to say, Velvet? Yes, go ahead, it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t love you, that he just wants a mother for his daughter?’
‘Tony will be getting a father too.’
‘Yes,’ he agreed heavily.
Her expression was one of pain. ‘Do you think I’m being disloyal to Anthony?’
‘Good God, no,’ came his ready denial. ‘He would be the first one to want to see you happy. But will you be happy with Jerard Daniels?’
‘I have to try,’ she sighed, knowing she wouldn’t be happy without him. ‘Maybe it won’t work out, but I have to try.’
‘Because of the children?’
‘No, because of me. And because of Jerard too. I’m sure I could make him happy, if he would let me. We were in love once, we could be again.’
Simon nodded. ‘Love doesn’t usually die completely. Sometimes it gets forgotten, but it doesn’t die.’
Her mouth twisted. ‘And I certainly did that. I don’t think Jerard will ever forgive me for that.’
‘It wasn’t your fault,’ her brother said indignantly.
‘No,’ she acknowledged softly.
Her brother looked regretfully at his watch. ‘I have to get back to work now. Why don’t you come over this evening and we can discuss it some more?’
‘I told Jerard I would give him my answer tonight,’ she blushed.
His eyebrows rose. ‘He hasn’t given you much time to think about it.’
‘Tonight was my idea,’ she admitted huskily, with a rueful smile. ‘I would have said yes yesterday only I didn’t want to look too eager.’
Simon stood up to leave. ‘Just don’t make the wedding this week,’ he teased lightly. ‘I can’t get the time off.’
‘Oh, I do love you!’ She hugged him tightly to her.
‘That’s what big brothers are for.’ He smoothed her hair.
‘Do you think I ought to see if Mum and Dad would like to come over, and Nigel and Jenny, of course?’
‘You’ll get shot if you don’t ask them,’ he warned.
‘I feel a bit embarrassed about telling them. The last time they came over was for my wedding to Anthony.’
Simon shook his head. ‘Mum and Dad came back for Anthony’s funeral too.’
‘Oh yes,’ she remembered dully.
‘Hey, come on!’ her brother chided. ‘You should think only happy thoughts today.’
By the time Jerard arrived that evening she didn’t seem to have had a single one. To make matters worse he was alone. Somehow she had expected Vicki to be with him.
‘She’s spending the night with my mother,’ he answered her jerky query. ‘And Tony’s in bed, I presume?’
‘Yes,’ she said huskily.
She hadn’t thought they would be alone this evening, sitting nervously on the edge of her chair, glad that she had changed into the rust-coloured knee-length dress; Jerard’s own appearance was impeccable in a grey pinstriped suit and white shirt.
‘I was late getting back from Birmingham.’ Once again he seemed aware of her thoughts, reaching up to remove his tie and unbutton the top button to his shirt. ‘I came straight here.’
‘Have you had dinner?’
‘I’ll eat later,’ he dismissed.
Velvet stood up, tall and slender, her hair like a red-gold nimbus round her head, unknowingly provocative in the figure-hugging dress. ‘I’ll get you something,’ she offered, glad of the opportunity to be busy. ‘Would a ham omelette and salad be all right?’
‘Fine. But there’s no need.’ He sat back in the chair, his eyes closed, lines of weariness about his eyes.
Her heart went out to him. ‘Wouldn’t you rather go to bed? I mean—I—You look tired!’ Her face was fiery red. What an idiot she was!
Jerard didn’t even open his eyes. ‘I’m aware of the fact that that wasn’t a proposition, Velvet,’ he drawled sleepily. ‘You’ve made your opinion on that subject very clear.’
‘Yes. Well, I—I’ll go and get you something to eat.’ She made a hasty escape to the kitchen, her hands up to her cheeks to hide her fiery cheeks.
She was making a complete fool of herself, acting like a stupid schoolgirl, not like a woman who had been married once and was now contemplating the married state for a second time. Jerard must think she was a prize idiot! She must pull herself together, act the sophisticated woman she was supposed to be.
She half expected Jerard to be asleep when she went back into the lounge with the tray containing food. But he wasn’t; he was sitting back smoking a cigarette, his jacket and waistcoat to his suit removed and thrown casually across the back of a chair.
He stubbed the cigarette out at her entrance, getting up to come over to the dining-room table where she laid out his meal. ‘I could have eaten when I got home,’ he said as he sat down.
‘I enjoyed doing it.’ She couldn’t look at him, moving out of his way as quickly as she could, too vibrantly aware of his masculinity, the sensual smell of his body and aftershave.
For all his protests he ate the
