Her nerves were in shreds and she took up smoking, a habit she had always loathed in others but searching through Charles’s desk in the library for a pencil sharpener, she found a packet of Benson and Hedges and a gold lighter, engraved with the initials MC, pushed to the back of the drawer. Charles had never smoked to her knowledge so she could only surmise they must have belonged to Margaret and he had never thrown them away, probably because so many other bits and pieces obscured them. She pushed them into the pocket of her jeans and that evening, when she was alone in her room, pulled one out and lit it. The initial bout of coughing which followed was a bit of a shock but after a few inexperienced puffs, she found the smoke entering her lungs to be relaxing. The taste wasn’t pleasant but the sensation was good. For a while she restricted herself to one cigarette every evening after dinner but gradually wanted more and found, within a couple of months, she was smoking at least ten a day.
Stephen put an end to it when she was tucking him up in bed one night. She had thoughtlessly smoked prior to entering the nursery. The smell was still on her clothes and on her breath and he didn’t want to cuddle her, pulling away with a look of distaste on his face. She went back up to her room, ripped up what remained in the packet and never smoked again. Stephen was the only person who she could kiss and cuddle and she couldn’t afford to ruin their bond.
Vicky rang and visited frequently, always issuing an invitation for Ruth and Stephen, along with Tina, to visit London.
“There’s so much we can do here, Ruth. I can always have a few days off and we can take Stephen and Tina sightseeing; there’s London zoo, the Tower, a boat ride on the Thames, walks in the parks. Stephen will love it and it will be good for you to get away.”
Ruth politely refused every time. She didn’t want the bustle of London. All those people jostling for space on the pavements, the noise of the traffic, the general pace of life. It wasn’t for her at that time but it made her think about having a break from Canleigh and with clarity one morning when waking up all alone in bed, she realised where she would like to go. She drove into Leeds to consult a travel agent. A flight was booked to Greece, somewhere she and Charles had planned to visit, and with Stephen and Tina in tow, she left the country for four months. It was money well spent as far as the whole party were concerned. Lovely, glorious days were idled away on a warm, sunny beach, Stephen loving every minute, his main aim to build a bigger and better sandcastle than the day before. Ruth hired a car and drove them around, exploring ancient ruins and tiny villages, stopping to sample local delicacies on the way. They came back to England suntanned and relaxed and Ruth was far more ready to face whatever life should throw her way.
But they came home to sad news. Poor Sue Kershaw had stomach cancer, according to Betty Hardy, and hadn’t long to live.
“Sue thought she was suffering from indigestion for a long time and just took Rennies and the like but it grew worse and Philip insisted she see Dr. Arnold. He had her rushed into hospital; they discovered the cancer and gave a pretty grim prognosis. It seems she only has a few weeks. She’s at home. Refused to stay in hospital, poor love and Philip is finding it very hard. He’s devastated.”
“Goodness,” Ruth exclaimed, “how awful. She’s so young. Poor Sue. Poor Philip.”
“They have a nurse who comes in every morning, I believe,” continued Betty. “But even so, it’s a lot for Philip to cope with. His business has grown substantially since he had Sue to help him and he’s had to take on extra staff so he can spend more time with her. It’s so tragic. You know he lost his grandparents not long after each other a few years ago and now this. I feel so sorry for him. He and Sue have been so right for each other … so happy together. Far more than he would ever have been with Lady Delia,” Betty sniffed.
Ruth didn’t know the couple that well. Their paths crossed rarely but on the odd occasion when there was a village event, usually held on the lawns at Canleigh, she had found their company to be most enjoyable and wanted to see if there was anything she could do to help ease their suffering at this awful time in their lives.
She paid a visit to Tangles that afternoon. Philip was obviously busy as there were a number of cars in the car park beside the house and he was greeting a group of jolly, laughing people who had arrived for a hack around the nearby countryside. Seeing Ruth, he said something to the group and they moved towards the stables to collect their horses while Philip made his way over to her. His smile was tense and strained and he looked desperately tired.
“Hello, Ruth,” he said.
She was glad he had remembered to use her Christian name. The continuous ‘Your Grace’ seemed so silly with people of her own age and always put a distance between them.
“I gather you’ve been away … to Greece … I do hope you found it beneficial … and you feel a bit better.”
Ruth nodded. “Yes … it’s certainly helped … but I’ve heard about Sue. Is
