Paul? Is that his name?
She nodded. Rich said, You’re doing really good, mate. Can you tell me what happened after you and your dad were in the big camp?
Silence. Li looked into her eyes and saw Nerredin after the fire. The same calm. Outside Medical, the wind was picking up again. She tapped the volume as high as it would go.
— where your dad is, Lavinia? Could he be looking for you?
A woman said, offscreen, She doesn’t remember. Or she doesn’t – I already tried.
Rich said, That’s okay, Lavinia. No worries. You all right?
She gave Li the thumbs up.
So, you liked being with the other kids, yeah?
Sort of. Some of them were mean but Alex was nice and another big kid called Nasir gave me crackers and they stuck up for me. Because some of the kids said I was too slow because I was six but Alex said I was more like a seven-year-old.
Were you trying to get somewhere special?
Yeah. But when we got to the big hill, it was really high and it was cold and there was nothing to eat and I got tired of walking. And the other kids said I was a crybaby and they weren’t going to wait for me.
Rich said, What about Alex and Nasir?
Lavinia blinked. Li hadn’t noticed her blink before. Nasir wasn’t there then, she said. Alex said he’d wait with me and we’d get a lift in a truck. He said it’d be warm and we’d get there first, but we waited for ages and no trucks came and Alex wouldn’t let me go to sleep.
But then a truck did come?
But it was going the wrong way. And it stopped and Alex made me get in anyway but he wouldn’t get in with me. He said he was going to to catch up with the others.
The woman said, Serkel does freight over the range.
Lavinia, Rich said, can you tell me where you were trying to go? Before you come here?
We were going to the best place. And Alex said the truck would take me there a different way, but this isn’t the best place.
No, Li said. That’s not —
The best place has horses. You go over the big hill and there are boats that don’t sink and that’s how you get there.
Li tried to lift her hands to the keyboard but they were shaking too hard. Rich leaned over and hit pause but she kept staring at the kid, stilled on the screen. She couldn’t get her breathing under control. Outside, the wind made a high sound and something slapped the side of the container and bounced off again.
Rich said, behind her, That means something? The best place?
She couldn’t get enough air in, no matter how fast she breathed. Felt a terrifying lightness. If she took her eyes off the child she would spiral up out of this chair and through the metal ceiling, up into the wind.
Li?
I want to talk to her.
She’s dead. Two days ago. Three days ago. There’s not a lot of people left in Family. I. He breathed out through his nose. I couldn’t update her status cos she didn’t exist.
Li had the strongest desire to touch the screen. Those left-behind eyes.
I dunno about your kid, he said. But Lavinia was in a makecamp first. And there was a mob of kids from there still alive about a month ago, trying to get across the range.
Li closed her eyes.
I gave up on someone, too, Rich said. Lost cause, right? But what if it’s not? Not for you. His voice was steady in the dark. I saw you run at that fire. You know how hard you fought me when I dragged you away? You need to be out there looking for her, Li. True thing.
The link gates between Medical and Charlie were still unlocked. No one in sight now. Li bent forward into the wind but the wind kept changing, she kept having to stop and hang onto the fence. The ground was strewn with rubbish. It started raining hard, drenching her in seconds. She barely noticed. Something inside her was breaking, burning. It hurt so much that she had to move. All this time, lying to herself, lying down, she had to make it up now. Even if it was too late.
Rich had said he needed to get something, he was going to meet her at maingate, or the first locked gate before maingate. There was an Esso he’d been working on, who might take a pay-off if he could find him. All she knew was that they had to try now while Management was awol and everyone else was burning bodies. She was looking for Megan. Megan had the codes.
Two Essos went past her, hunched over against the wind. One of them yelled something at her but the wind was bashing her around the ears and they didn’t stop. A sideways gust knocked her into the fence. The air was full of plastic and cans and she realised it must be blowing from the dump. She felt a glancing blow on the back of the head. An old running shoe. It hit the ground and was plucked up again.
She got all the way to Charlie and then Megan came out of a sleepbox, head down, on her way out. Li yelled her name as she went past and she looked up, struggling to keep her balance.
What are you doing? she shouted over the wind. Get inside!
Li said, I need to get out. I need the codes.
Megan shook her head, staring at her. You should’ve stayed in Medical.
Just let me out. Please.
What the fuck’s wrong with you?
The link gate slammed shut and Megan turned away to wrestle it open again. Li grabbed her shoulder and Megan turned back fast, catching Li’s arm and twisting it, forcing her down.
Megan stood over her. Can’t you see what’s happening?
Li realised that the rain had stopped and the wind
