“The analysis would take several days, so I started to do some desktop investigations. At first, I considered that it might have been poor craft and lack of professionalism by the asbestos removers. I got their details from the maintenance supervisor. From that point, I began to check the contractors out and look at their background.” Robert paused to take a little bite of the delicious scone filled with the lightest cream he had ever tasted.
“The Office of Parliamentary Security was helpful and showed me all the criminal record checks on the principal contractor. There were eight of their men on the site, including the proprietor, Mitch Mills. All had sailed through the audit.
“When the sample results were returned and confirmed my initial concerns, I started to dig deeper. First, we stopped the contractor on-site and removed his and all his employees’ passes. Whatever happened, they would never get back on site,” Stahmer reported.
“Is that when you found it was the asbestos dust?” the Queen inquired.
“Yes, Ma’am,” Stahmer replied.
“What made you think it was something other than an error or an accident?” the Queen asked.
“The dust I found in the House of Lords was MDF dust, Medium Density Fibreboard. This dust is banned in a whole host of countries and is widely known as a carcinogen: two separate materials, asbestos and MDF, both highly dangerous, and in both sets of Houses. Needless to say, Ma’am, my antennae were going haywire.
“After a day or so of hands-on research, I discovered that there had been a severe outbreak of salmonella in Bellamy’s, the restaurant at the House. A week after this, one of the government whips received third-degree burns from an electrical shock from a kettle in his office; the grounding wire had come loose. All these random incidents in one place? Odds are stacked against it,” Stahmer concluded.
“Is that when you had the Houses closed? The first time in an emergency for over a hundred years. Although I believe the excuse was it had been closed due to a gas leak,” the Queen added.
“Yes, Ma’am. I could not be sure what was happening, just that something was amiss. Special Branch got involved and started to delve into Mr Mills. They discovered that his wife, Christine Mills, had been made bankrupt by HMRC over a £17,000 unpaid VAT bill. Evidently, she was a woman who was bipolar. Three weeks after the court bankrupted her, she went to her local tax office, poured petrol over her head, and lit the flammable liquid.”
“How tragic! Did she die?” the Queen asked, somewhat saddened.
“Yes, Ma’am, she did. Mr Mills told anyone and everyone he would get some payback. The trouble is, this sort of thing doesn’t come up in the criminal records check,” he added.
“Once we had all the Houses cleared, I had specialist teams go in to check the whole complex over. We found crocidolite and amosite asbestos dust inside hundreds of books in the library. They are lethal, if not immediately, certainly at some time in the future. We found the same asbestos in the House records and papers. Further investigation found MDF dust and amosite asbestos in the House of Lords. If this was not bad enough, we discovered Legionella bacterium in the air conditioning units.
“We also found that Mr Mills was replacing the asbestos in the roof voids with fine acrylic powder, not one generally used in insulation. Dust and powder can explode if agitated enough, and we found fans up in the attic spaces. So although he is not admitting to it, we believe he was planning for an explosion at some time,” Robert continued.
“Mills had easy access to MDF and asbestos. Several months ago, he did some work in a lab in Oxford where they were looking at diseases such as Weil’s disease. They found vials of the stuff in his house.” Stahmer paused for another bite of the scone.
“So, has everyone been exposed to these toxins?” the Queen interjected.
“Luckily, the weather has been unseasonably cold, so the air conditioning units had not been switched on. I think it is safe to say now, I believe that we dodged the bullet there. However, when they interviewed Mills, he admitted he had been placing the asbestos dust for weeks. The house has had many full debates, so we can assume an awful lot of people and Members of Parliament have been exposed,” Robert explained.
“So, does that mean they will all die?” the Queen asked.
“Hard to say, Ma’am. Sure, some will die; not tomorrow, but in five, ten, fifteen years. The luck of the draw, actually; the older you are, and most MPs are, if you smoke, and many do, the bigger the chance of contracting it. They certainly have not dodged the bullet there.
“Of the previous incidents, an Under Secretary of State has had to have a kidney transplant after the salmonella outbreak, and then the whip has had some skin grafts after the electrocution,” he said.
“We don’t know how much of this you know, but we do know you have had to sign the Official Secret Act, so the least we can do is bring you up to date. Only a few in the House know what has happened, and that is the way it will stay; no use in worrying them.
“There will be no trial. Knowing my intelligence services, we think it is certain that Mr Mills will have an unfortunate accident sometime soon, and thus another secret that won’t be available for scrutiny, ever.”
“You have the thanks of a grateful nation, Mr Stahmer. No medals, alas, but the personal thanks of your Queen,” she said.
“I appreciate that, Ma’am,” Stahmer replied.
“So, is it back to the Health and Safety Executive? May seem a little boring after this,” the Queen inquired.
“Not right away,
