The episodes had always been there, even before her real life had begun. Darby braced her hands against the slick tile walls and thought back to her early childhood. That place. The white lab coats and the constant poking and prodding. The only thing she could figure out from that time was that she’d been a part of some sort of experiment. She’d lived at this place hidden away in the mountains. A hospital or clinic. They’d called it Center. She remembered the word, the place, but not in detail.
Her gut told her she’d been born there and would never have escaped if she hadn’t played the game she’d devised. Fear knotted inside her at even the thought of being back there again. She had known somehow, had sensed, that her future depended upon her not being able to perform as they required. All she’d had to do was pretend she didn’t see, that she didn’t understand.
When all means to prompt what the men in the white lab coats had obviously thought to be her hidden talent failed, they had sent her away.
At first, she hadn’t been able to remember Center or the men in the white coats. She’d been adopted by a nice family in New Orleans, the Shepards, and for a while she’d drifted in a sea of nothingness. It was as if she’d been born the day they brought her to their home. Only instead of being an infant, she’d been ten years old. Gradually, a few meager memories of her time before had come to her in dreams and visions, the very ones she struggled not to see to this day.
As a result of the intense episode in her junior high days, her adopted parents had insisted that she be evaluated. The evaluation had shaken loose even more of her hidden past, but she’d never told anyone. The psychologist had considered her “episode” a traumatic event brought on by puberty and had prescribed medication. Darby had carried those tranquilizers with her since. Whenever she felt control slipping, she took them faithfully for a few nights. The nagging dreams would stop. Her refusal to look, enabled by the medication, kept her sane most of the time.
Now and again, the struggle to focus on the here and now rather than on some stranger’s immediate past was nearly more than she could bear. The fight to keep the portal closed was a constant battle.
Darby twisted the knobs to the Off position and reached for her towel. Now, she decided, was a perfect time for that extra help. She’d been extremely lucky for several years now. She’d been able to control those heightened senses without the medication. But her usual means weren’t working. The voices and images kept coming, tearing her apart and at the same time telling her nothing.
She couldn’t risk another psychotic break like the one she’d experienced all those years ago. The adoptive parents who’d loved and cared for her were gone now, leaving her on her own. Alone with no protection, no support system.
She had to be strong, had to protect herself.
Wrapping the towel around her, she headed to the kitchen in search of the pills that would make the voices and images go away.
She filled a glass with water and unscrewed the childproof lid on the bottle. As much as she hated running from anything, she understood the necessity in this case. She couldn’t lose control under any circumstances. There was no one to protect her from the voices and the images. No one to protect her from the men in the white lab coats.
If they learned where she was and that she had fooled them all those years ago, they would come for her. She knew things, though she didn’t understand what any of it meant, that she shouldn’t. With every fiber of her being, she felt certain that if they ever found out she had the dreams, they would come.
Better lock your door.
Chapter Two
Darby stared at the front page of the Times-Picayune.
Third Child Missing—Police Have No Leads.
She took another long drink of water in an attempt to dampen her dry mouth. The pills left her with cottonmouth as well as a heck of a hangover. But they worked. She hadn’t dreamed at all last night. Even now, staring at the headline, she felt nothing. Numb maybe, but that didn’t count.
Tossing the newspaper aside, she pushed to her feet and gathered her satchel. She hated the medication, hated this feeling of nothingness. But it was better than the alternative, wasn’t it?
She dragged her fingers through her hair and sighed. Was it really? If she tried—really tried—could she see the man’s face? Could she help those children, assuming either of the last two taken was still alive? She just didn’t know. And, God, if she could help…she didn’t even want to think that way. The little Fairgate girl was dead. No one could help her now.
Work. She needed work to distract her. Having managed to wake up on time this morning, she was actually a little ahead of schedule. She’d take the scenic route this morning. Get some fresh air and exercise. That would clear her head.
Feeling better already, Darby hung the long strap of her satchel over her head and onto the opposite shoulder so it wouldn’t slip off and knock her off balance as she rode her bike. She said goodbye to Wiz and locked up her cozy apartment. After settling onto her bike, she took Broadway, then St. Charles over to Jefferson. The scenic route would be just the distraction she needed. She’d always loved the old homes and ancient live oaks that lined that street. There was just so much
