I smiled at the memories of my life as Lenore, one of my last few moments of happiness with my family before recent events. "Yes, I remember."
"Do you?" Damien cocked his head as he studied me.
"When Lucifer broke the curse, all my memories came back. I remember almost everything, though it comes and goes, as memories do."
"Everything? Like the time when I nearly fell into the fire pit?”
I arched an eyebrow. “You mean when Belial was supposed to be watching you?”
He laughed at that. "And all the times you caught me in bed with someone?"
I groaned and ducked my head. "Unfortunately, yes. Both men and women. Sometimes both at the same time. Things a mother should never have to see."
Damien only laughed harder, and I was happy to see some of my old mischievous, carefree son back again. We chatted a bit more about memories of the past, laughing and smiling as we reminisced together. He caught me up a bit more on his life in Faerie, and how he had won over Oberon after many years, and how his grandmother continues to be a thorn in his side even though she obviously cares. I told him more about this life, and everything Jophiel had done to keep me safe from Adam, and how Lucifer broke the curse. But eventually the hour grew late, and it was time to say goodbye.
Damien glanced toward the setting sun. “I should go.”
“Do you really have to?”
"Unfortunately yes, but I will be back soon. I promise." He pulled me into a last hug before he opened a portal to Faerie, and I breathed deep at the smell of home that emanated from it.
"You better."
I gave him another hug, and then held back tears as he disappeared inside the portal, though I was confident I would see him again soon.
Time had been tough on our family, but I was certain that things would be better going forward. I was going to make sure of it.
19
Lucifer
I looked out over one of the crowded bar areas on the first floor of the Celestial. Tourists came here to drown their sorrows after losing too much money on the slots. Funny how humans continued their lives oblivious to all else going on around them, truly blinded to anything outside their own sphere of understanding. Clinking glasses, chatter and laughter formed the soundtrack to the evening and a sports event flickered on a television just barely in view, tucked around a corner. But none of that interested me.
I peered deeper into the shadows, and there he was. Belial. Alone on a stool and in the furthest reaches of the bar, almost as if he’d set a warded circle around himself to keep people away.
I started to stride over to him, but stopped a short distance away, unsure of my welcome. He looked up, amusement flashing briefly through his eyes as he witnessed my hesitation. I grinned and nodded brief acknowledgment. Yes, any sort of hesitation was uncharacteristic of me, but in this instance, it wasn’t weakness. It was the closest I’d come to asking him for consent to join him, and he was too like me to not know that.
He glanced at the barstool next to him. Just a flicker. If I’d have blinked, I’d have missed the invitation, but I’d known not to blink. Belial wouldn’t ask twice.
“Drink?” I asked. When had I last bought my son a drink? For that matter, had I ever bought one for him? Of course, I wouldn’t actually buy one now either. I’d just wave, and a bartender would keep them coming.
My oldest son lifted his glass, the ice chinking softly inside. “Got one.”
I waved anyway. This wasn’t a conversation to have without the accompanying burn of good quality whiskey. “How are you doing?”
He answered my uninspired question with a dry, humorless chuckle. "Small talk, really?"
"We've got to start somewhere, don't we?" This was our first real conversation in centuries. I had no idea how to begin it, but I couldn't let things go on this way any longer.
"All right then." He raised an eyebrow, and for a second he looked so much like his mother when she'd been Eve. "I'm just dandy. How are you?"
His voice was dripping with sarcasm. This was never going to be an easy conversation, and I hadn’t expected Belial to make it any easier. Still, he could help me out a little here. My whiskey arrived at that moment, and I took a long sip of liquid courage.
"I want to thank you for helping your mother in both Faerie. She says she couldn't have done it without you."
Belial simply nodded and sipped his drink. I dragged a hand through my hair, trying to find the right words to connect with my son. This was much harder than I'd expected.
“I’m sorry.” I blurted out the words in my head. They weren’t the words I’d intended to say, and Belial stiffened, tension in all of his muscles. His head moved toward me almost as if he might look at me, but it was little more than a twitch he didn’t complete in the end.
I laughed, the sound self-deprecating. “I realize those aren’t words you’re used to hearing from me.”
He acknowledged me with a quick contraction of his lips, but he still didn’t look in my direction as I studied his profile.
“I know I wasn’t the best father to you. I was…” I paused, my mouth dry. I'd been about to say I'd been busy, but that wasn't right. "I was stupid."
Belial cut a glance toward me, and it was all the invitation I needed to keep speaking.
“When you were born, I'd just left Heaven to become king of Hell. You were only a baby when I begged Nyx to turn the Fallen into demons. Then a small child when we defeated the Elder Gods and locked away the Horsemen. Then
