What the hell did we all eat that fucked us up?
As I step into the living room, Charm enters the house holding Astrid in her arms with a horrified but amused expression on her face.
Fuck me.
What did she put in those brownies?
“To be fair, I told you they were special brownies.” She slightly laughs, coming straight out to admit it.
“Wanna enlighten me as to what the fuck you put in them? Fuck, my house stinks worse than a pig farm right now,” I snap, going about opening windows.
“Dad, Logi, and Vanir are yelling about shitting their pants outside,” Emil says, pinching his nose closed.
I groan while casting a hateful look at Charm as she continues to smirk. “When that case of steaks I order for you comes in, I want them back.”
“What steaks?” she asks, completely baffled by my declaration.
“The ones I bought to apologize to you for being a dick,” I growl.
“And you couldn’t do that with flowers?” She snickers.
“Not my style. Anyways, I want them back for this shit you pulled. Fuck, woman, you’re vile.” I have a hard time keeping myself in check from wanting to throttle her for this bullshit stunt. At the same time, I have to admit I’m slightly amused.
“You shouldn’t have been an asshole to me when all I was trying to do was help.” Charm narrows her eyes and places Astrid on the floor. She murmurs something to my daughter about her going to get her bathing suit on and brings her attention back to me. “I’ll take the kids for you for a while, so you can . . . um . . . air this place out,” she says, coughing as if she’s keeping herself from laughing it up.
“Yeah, you do that, and from now on keep your brownies to yourself. I get I was a dick to you. I own up to my mistakes but fuck, what you did was just wrong. I should make you clean up the mess that I’m sure is in my backyard now.” I feel a sense of satisfaction at the horror that crosses her face. “BBQ is canceled for the night. Take the kids for a while and bring them back before dinner.”
Charm seems to be speechless for a moment as she clears her throat and licks her lips. “I’ll make sure they’re back in time,” she says quietly and rushes off after Astrid.
I go about getting the boys ready for her and then go to the backyard to see the damage my brothers had done. Fuckin’ good thing we have a privacy fence that blocks out the view of neighbors on the one side and back of the house.
Gagging, I grab the water hose and start to spray the ground to clean up the shit the best I can.
“Holy shit, I can’t believe she did this. I told her she’d fit right in, though,” Runes grumbles with a laugh.
“She pulled this shit ‘cause she didn’t like me bein’ a dick to her the first day we met,” I mutter, continuing on cleaning up the mess.
“Fuck me, if it weren’t for the fact it was all of us that suffered, I’d commend her more on the brilliancy of her work,” he groans. Runes is the type of guy who appreciates good thought into shit like this.
“Yeah, but it was us it fuckin’ happened to. Which means I don’t find a damn bit of it comical. Not when I’m out here spraying the ground.” I could really throttle the woman right about now because the only thing I can smell at the moment is the stench of fresh shit.
Finishing up cleaning the backyard, I head back into the house where I grab a bottle of air freshener and spray it throughout the whole damn house. I never realized shit could reek this bad.
“Swear to fuck this is one of those moments we need a thing of that VIPoo stuff that they advertise on TV. Damn, VP, why did you let us eat those brownies? What the hell was in them?” Ivar grumbles, taking a seat at the kitchen table.
“Fuck you, Ivar,” I growl, throwing a can of air freshener at him and watch as he ducks to miss it hitting his head.
The front door opens to Kraken and Aesir coming in with Regnor, one of our two prospects that show promise. “What’s that smell?” Kraken asks, gagging.
“Seems our VP’s beautiful neighbor doesn’t take too kindly to anyone being an asshole toward her,” Runes grumbles.
“Thanks, VP, that woman is malicious when it comes to payback. I’d hate to see what she does to someone if they really piss her off,” Rati mutters, throwing himself into another chair at the table.
“Someone needs to go get more toilet paper,” Logi says, staggering to sit on a barstool, eyeing the evil brownie container.
“How about you carry your ass to get it?” I suggest.
“That’s what we got prospects for,” he cackles.
Shaking my head, I move to the fridge and grab a bottle of water, feeling dehydrated as hell right now. I chug half the bottle in one gulp and look to my brothers. “BBQ’s canceled. I ain’t got the stomach for it now.”
“I have to agree with you. If I eat anything right now I’d be afraid I might end up shitting myself again,” Dag groans.
“We’ll do this tomorrow night then,” Runes announces. “For now, with our VP’s kids out of the house, I wanna ask you guys what do you think of us getting that warehouse that’s for sale?”
“What warehouse?” I ask.
“There’s a warehouse right outside of the city limits that’s for sale. It’s massive. I went by there this morning after leaving the motel. Found a way in and it’s big enough we can convert the place however the
