came to that, but you couldn’t blame a man for being prepared. The Boy Scouts got one thing right.

The bleachers called my name after that, but for the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to go. I checked the spare phone I had. It was an old flip one that was about a decade out-of-date, but without a data plan it was a cheap and solid backup. It wouldn’t surprise me if the school magically eavesdropped on some conversations, so having a backup was good for business.

After a while, I couldn’t put it off anymore. The usual comfort of the steel pillars of my personal kingdom was lacking as I approached. Aveena was already there, her foot tapping impatiently against the gravel.

“Mortal,” she spit as I approached.

“Lady Foxbelle,” I made sure to debase myself extra today. “You look radiant as always.”

“Where is my product,” she ignored the pleasantries.

“I have one of my people fetching it as we speak,” I prayed to all the gods and goddesses of every pantheon that Brad would hurry the fuck up.

“We had an agreement,” she pulled out a thin, next-gen phone, I doubted was even on the market yet. “And you will breach it in twenty-two seconds.”

“Come on, Brad,” I kept myself bowed at the waist, prostrated before the Fae girl. With about three seconds to spare, Brad sprinted between the pylons. “Gods, thank you!” I smiled at Aveena, but that was before I looked at Brad’s face. He was winded, and clutching a stich in his side, but he was shaking his head back and forth. “Fuck.”

“Restitutions must be made for dishonoring my noble house,” Aveena looked happier than I’d ever seen her.

“Please, my Lady,” I resorted to begging. “As you may have heard, I was struck down by a force of nature last night. While lightning is no concern to someone as mighty as yourself, I am a mere mortal, and was hospitalized until this afternoon. I sent my man to check my distributor, and they did not have it in stock. If you give me more time, I promise you I can get you what you requested.”

I figured playing the weak mortal card while brownnosing was a safe bet. It might have worked with a Seelie, but Aveena’s wicked grin showed me the Unseelie was unmoved.

“I demand satisfaction.” Reality seemed to warp, and a silver dagger appeared in her hand. I’d never seen a glamour before, and this was not how I wanted to witness the Fae’s greatest power. “A finger will do.”

I gulped and started to back away, but she was so quick. She blurred, and was suddenly standing before me with my hand in an iron grip. “Resistance is futile.” I could see the joy in her eyes as she moved the blade to my pinky finger.

“Step off, hag!” a familiar voice commanded.

Aveena recoiled like she’d been struck. A hag was a type of Fae. A low-blood. The lowest of the low. It was ugly, and only fit to clean the shitters of someone as high-born as Aveena. Calling her a hag was worse than calling her a two-dollar ho.

“Whore!” she roared back. Shockwaves made the metal around us groan in protest.

Lilith stepped forward, and pushed me aside so I fell flat on my ass. The last person I expected to come to my defense was the succubus I’d shoved under her bed with drool-cum dripping out of her mouth. I wanted to say something, but no one was paying attention to me anymore.

Only Brad, me, and the noble Fae’s changeling entourage would witness the epic showdown. St. Vincent’s had a pecking order based on power, prestige, money, race, and everything else people usually quibbled over in high school. Aveena and Lilith were near the top of the pecking order.

“Hot girl fight,” I couldn’t stop from grinning.

The dagger vanished from Aveena’s hand and was replaced by dual swords. One was curved, and the other straight. The use of different blades enhanced strengths and reduced weaknesses. They glowed with the otherworldly light of glamour, and were far more intimidating than the tiny dagger.

In response, Lilith’s eyes began to glow. It was the same spark as when she’d been draining me dry the night before. She opened her mouth and tongues of flame flowed down her chest and arms. They burned the same green as her eyes, and congealed into a flaming sword in one hand, and barbed whip in the other. She stared confidently into Aveena’s eyes as two horns slowly protruded from her forehead. Both women held their weapons like they knew how to use them.

Me, Brad, and Aveena’s changelings backed up as much as possible. My ego couldn’t help but notice that the two hotties with bodies were fighting over little, old me. My ego gained a healthy boost from that and a fantasy played out in my mind. The two warrior women clashed in a blur of blades. Sparkes and flashes of light erupted with each clash or strike. Eventually, they crossed blades, their faces inches from each other. Lilith’s tongue darted out to part the Fae’s lips. Her power surged through the Fae, buckling her knees. Both women dropped their weapons and embraced; ripping off each other’s clothing. Before anyone could react, they were scissoring on the ground like their lives depended on it.

It was one hell of a fantasy, but like most things in my hormone-addled brain, it was bullshit. Their fight could easily destroy the bleachers and bury us mere mortals under tons of steel. All the administration would be able to do was give them a slap on the wrist, and make their families pay off the families of the dead. The truth was far from the lesbian bangfest in my mind.

“What the hell is going on here!” another familiar voice yelled.

I was never happier to

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