“What type of thing?” I hear my voice ask.
“The worst we’ve done? We broke into a guy’s apartment to get a letter from his bank. You need it sometimes to get someone’s identity, and break passwords.” He grins again. “He wasn’t there, but Oscar still had to disable the alarms, and it was a rush being in there.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I ask suddenly. I feel like I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to know this.
“Because you’re with Lily now. And you have to know. What binds us together. What we are.”
“Does Lily know about this?”
James grins again. “Yeah. Lily knows. That’s why everything went so fucking crazy when you came along. Suddenly it wasn’t just the five of us anymore, but six.”
I’m silent. Completely not hungry any more.
“You said five, when did Eric get involved?”
“That’s a good question. Lily was in a shared apartment in her freshman year. He was in the room across from her. He just attached himself. Inserted himself into our group, and eventually she told him about what we do. He loved it, you know what he’s like.”
I’m pretty stunned. I’ve heard of some crazy things in my time, but this is wild. Certainly not what I expected. And I try to make sense of it, try to understand James’ reason for telling me now. I think I know.
“Is this about me and Lily? The other night, you were trying to make me look bad, when we were playing Monopoly. Are you trying to get back together with her?”
James looks suddenly shocked. “Trying to make you look bad? That was just a game…. I was… Oh man, I was trying to help you.” He stops, and takes a deep breath. “I told you I started dating Lily when I was thirteen, we’ve been together ever since.” He hesitates, fixes me with his blue eyes again. “Until this month, she was the only girl I’d ever slept with.” His eyes don’t move. “Can you imagine what that’s like?” He looks away before me, reaching again for the salt cellar before finding it’s still empty.
“I promise you…” He doesn’t finish the sentence. Instead he looks around, and sees the waitress from earlier, standing on her own a few tables away. Then he looks at me again, meaningfully. He gets up, still holding the salt cellar and, with a glance at me, walks over to her. I can’t hear what he says, but a minute later I see her laughing, and changing the salt for a full one from the counter. Then he says something else, and she gives him a long look, where she’s trying to make herself look more beautiful than she really is, then she scribbles something on her pad. She tears the sheet off and hands it to him. Then he comes back and sits down. He puts the paper on the table between us. It has a name, Clara, and a cellphone number.
“Lily is amazing, Billy. She really is. I’m always going to be a part of her life, and she’s always going to be a part of mine. But the truth is she was holding me back. And I was holding her back. I promise you. I only want the best for Lily. And if she thinks that’s you, that’s good enough for me.”
Chapter Forty-One
I’m doubtful. I mean. It could be true, what he’s saying, but it might not be. It could be a trick.
“Does Lily know you’re here? Telling me this?”
James sits back. “No. She doesn’t.”
“So if I tell her about it, is she going to confirm it all – this stuff about you working – I don’t know what you call it, undercover, like some band of vigilantes?” I watch his face carefully, to see how he takes this idea. “Or is she going to ask what I’m on about?”
“I don’t know.” James looks like he finds the idea interesting, but not concerning. “She might admit it. Or she might not.”
I wait. I don’t know what he means by that.
“We swore to keep this secret. You can understand why. It was only the four of us who knew. And I’ve never told anyone else. Not until today. Lily was the only one who ever has. When she told Eric. So I don’t know what she’ll do, if you tell her you know. ”
“OK. I will then. I’ll ask her.”
James makes a face like he’s weighing that up. “It’s your choice Billy. But…”
“But what?”
He takes a deep breath. “If it was me, I’d wait until she tells you.”
“Why?”
“Because then you’ll know she really trusts you. That this isn’t just a fling – for her. That she thinks it’s going to last.”
There’s silence between us. I open my mouth to reply, but suddenly it’s too dry.
“And – you have to consider how it’s going to look. Remember I said she’s touchy about Fonchem?”
“Yeah?” I say. It’s about all I can manage.
“So, if you go to her wanting to know all about what we do… think how that’s going to look? When she knows you’re upset about what her family firm is doing?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Think about it Billy, what is she going to think you’re really after? Her or…”
I try to do what he says, to think about it, but I don’t know what he means.
“She’s going to think you want something done. To Fonchem. For us to do what we do, to her company. And she’s not going to take that well.”
There’s another silence at our table. I really need time to take in everything James has said. To process it. But I don’t have time.
“How do you know?”
James waits a beat, then suddenly leans forwards.
