Maya tried to imagine how her parents would have reacted if she’d told them she liked women, but it was an exercise in futility since her parents were both gone. She didn’t want to attribute unearned qualities to the dead, yet she liked to think her parents wouldn’t have made a huge deal of it. But what would they say if she were able to tell them about this date—if they were still alive—though? “Sorry,” she said. “I was just thinking about my own parents. They’ll never know I’ve gone on this date with a very charming woman.”
“This one?” Beverly pointed at herself.
Maya nodded, a smile blooming on her lips.
“Trust me, my mother will hear all about you first thing tomorrow.”
They burst into a companionable chuckle and Maya enjoyed the warmth that blossomed in her chest. Why had she waited so long to give herself this gift of going out with women? What had she been so afraid of?
“Actually,” she started. “I got the first inkling I might like women about ten years ago.” Maya wasn’t going to divulge her indiscretion with Quinn to Beverly on the first date, but she did want to give her something of a timeline, just so she knew that Maya wasn’t here on some whim. “But I’ve only now started telling people and doing something concrete about it.”
“Since you’ve moved to the city?”
“Yes.”
“You must have needed the time it took.” There was not a hint of judgement in Beverly’s tone. “And now here you are.”
“Here I am.” Maya was starting to warm to Beverly even more. She couldn’t exactly imagine kissing her yet, but maybe in a few minutes, hours, days, or weeks, she wouldn’t be able to stop imagining it. As far as she was concerned, this date with Beverly was the most promising one she’d been on since she’d started seeing the man she’d married.
Chapter 18
Argh, Quinn thought, why does she have to look so insanely hot? Through the window, she watched Morgan walk toward her building. She anticipated the buzz of the doorbell, which was a new experience, because, for years, Morgan had possessed a key to Quinn’s apartment. It was their secret hideout place, away from prying eyes.
She waited in the doorframe for Morgan to climb the three flights of stairs. She would be slightly out of breath and look all the sexier for it.
“Hey.” With a flourish, Morgan took the last two steps. She beamed Quinn a wide smile. “Fuck, it’s good to see you.”
Quinn quickly ushered her inside. They might have broken up, but the air of secrecy remained.
“Thanks so much for seeing me, Quinn.” Morgan zipped open her leather jacket. “It’s been so difficult. I miss you so much, babe.” She swallowed. “Before you say anything, I know I have no right to say that. It’s my fault it’s over between us. But that’s why I’ve been so desperate to talk to you.” She shook her head. “If breaking up with you has taught me one thing, it’s that I want to be with you more than anything.”
“You could have been with me all along.”
“I know. I know.” Morgan rubbed her palms on her jeans. “I blew it, but…”
“Do you want something to drink? Shall we sit?” Quinn needed some time to absorb the emotional energy of having Morgan inside her home again.
“Griff’s not here, is she?” Morgan asked.
“She’s at work.” Quinn working mostly from home had helped manage the practicalities of their affair a lot. She’d even been able to hide it from her roommate much longer than she’d thought possible, and much to Griff’s dismay.
“I’d love some water, please.” Morgan’s voice sounded sweeter than Quinn had ever heard it.
Quinn led them into the kitchen where they sat around the tiny table that only had room for two chairs placed too close together for comfort.
“I’m going to do it,” Morgan said. “I’m going to leave Steve.”
Quinn knew not to get her hopes up. After all, this was hardly the first time Morgan had spoken those very words—and words came cheap. But when she looked into Morgan’s face, her lips drawn into a hopeful smile, her eyes glittering with all the prospects for their future life together, it was difficult to ignore the instant joyful pitter-patter of her heart. In fact, this moment, Morgan sitting in her kitchen, so close Quinn could inhale her familiar scent, saying those very words to Quinn, came scarily close to most of the fantasies she’d indulged in over the past few months.
“Why would I believe you now?” Quinn had to ask. After what had happened, her instinct was to protect herself, even though protecting her heart had never been something that came naturally to Quinn. Being with Morgan had changed that about her. “Have you done anything to make it happen? Have you talked to him?”
“Not yet, babe.” Over the small surface of the table, Morgan inched her hand closer to Quinn’s elbow. “I wanted to talk to you first.”
It irked Quinn that Morgan still called her ‘babe’, as though they were still together and the past four months of heartbreak meant nothing. “Then talk.” Part of Quinn wanted to pull her elbow away from Morgan’s approaching hand, but she didn’t. Just as during their affair, Quinn had wanted to pull away from the madness of it, the sheer impossibility of it, many a time, but she never had. Not until their final and fatal blowout.
“I love you more than I love Steve,” Morgan said. “I love you so much. I choose you, Quinn.” Her fingers touched Quinn’s skin. “I know I should have done so years ago and I’m sorry that I didn’t.” When she half-whispered like
