“Of course, you should see her again.” The ice cubes in his cocktail glass rattled. “Because why wouldn’t you be entitled to the kind of joy Quinn brings you? Because you are a mother and a grandmother? Let me tell you something, darling, you are much more than that and you deserve to live your life as much more than those motherly roles you cast yourself in.”
“Oh, Angus… I just can’t.” Maya sighed. “I had a chat with Quinn’s roommate whose father married a woman not much older than her, and she and her dad barely speak.”
“Do you honestly think Tommy would stop speaking to you just because you fell in love with someone he doesn’t immediately approve of? He’s your only son and you are his only mother.”
“He has his father and his mother-in-law.”
“So.” Angus pursed his lips. “They’re not you.” He cut his gaze to her and looked into her eyes. “I know you’re afraid and it’s normal that you are. Quinn represents this big upheaval in your life. A life you’ve only just started rebuilding for yourself. But the very definition of life is that unexpected things like this happen and, trust me, much uglier events can occur in this life of ours than falling in love with someone who might not be the most appropriate. Who cares if she makes you feel the way she does? Do you know how many people would give up everything they had for a love like that?”
“A love like that?” Maya chuckled. “You’re getting a little carried away there, Angus.”
He waved off her comment. “That may be so, but that’s my nature. It’s how I get my point across.” He drew up his eyebrows. “Is it working?”
“I haven’t been in touch with Quinn since Sunday. I said I needed some rest as well as some time to think.”
“You’ve had forty-eight hours. Either you’re going nuts with desire for her or you’ve wrapped yourself in a shroud of gloom.” He narrowed his eyes. “I suspect the latter.”
“Both,” Maya admitted. “I could so easily fall for her, but… only if I let myself.”
“Sure, as if you can will feelings like that to just stop existing.”
“Haven’t you ever had feelings for the wrong person?”
“Darling, that’s the story of my life. It will be the title of my memoir.” He pulled up his shoulders. “And look at me. As single as they come.”
“From what you’ve told me, one doesn’t really have anything to do with the other.”
“Maybe not directly, but back to your point.” Angus cleared his throat. Maybe he needed a reset after all his theatrics. “If I could do it all over again, I’d pay more attention to love. To how I really feel inside.” He tapped his chest. “I’d find a way to not care about all the things that don’t really matter and that only stand in the way of true happiness. In your case, I mean the opinion of others. In my case, I mean the relentless chase of new lovers, all the men I was never able to resist. In the end, it never gave me what I really wanted.” He sighed. “You see, there’s always a parallel to be drawn, darling.”
Maya appreciated Angus’ ability to see through his own drama. If only she could see through hers with such sharpness.
“Imagine yourself ten years from now,” Angus said. “You might have more grandchildren and a great relationship with your son, but what else will you have if you walk away from Quinn?”
“Surely, I’ll get over her.” Maya tilted her head. “I may very well meet someone else.”
“Someone like Beverly who doesn’t thrill you in the least?”
“Would that be so bad?”
Angus slammed his palm onto the armrest of his chair. “Damn right. It would be horrible and inexcusable. You can compromise on everything else in your life, but not on love, Maya. That, you will always regret.”
“I’ve been single for a long time. It really isn’t as awful as it’s made out to be.”
“Sure, but remember why you moved to New York.”
“To spend time with my family. That came first when I made the decision and it always will.”
“Things change,” Angus said laconically. “Priorities change.”
“If push comes to shove.” Maya took her time to formulate the thought that was the crux of her current predicament. “Say I continue seeing Quinn and we develop deeper feelings for each other. Say I tell Tommy and my worst-case scenario comes true and he asks me to choose between Quinn and my family. What then?”
“Then your son would be a terrible person and I don’t believe he is, Maya, because you raised him. He’s your flesh and blood. How could he ever make you choose like that?” Angus shook his head. “Tommy’s not a moron.”
“I’d like to think he isn’t.” Still, Tommy’s disapproval was the most persistent thought in Maya’s head, just because he was her son. Because she had raised him. If he rejected her for falling in love with Quinn, did it mean that Maya’s upbringing had failed? Or was there only so much a mother could do when it came to raising her child?
“Please don’t tell me you’re not going to see Quinn again because you’re afraid of something that might never happen.” Angus didn’t sound as though he would be taking no for an answer.
“It’s not just my family. It’s hers as well. And it’s not only the age difference, it’s the difference of where we are in our lives.” Maya huffed out some air. “When I arrived at Quinn’s apartment, I couldn’t believe that was how she lived. I’m in my fifties and used to a certain standard. Because I worked for it and I earned it.” She paused. “Before I sound too much like a princess, it’s not so much about Quinn’s bed not being comfortable enough or her kitchen being too dingy, it’s about us belonging to different generations. She’s of Tommy’s generation.
