Finally, he gave in and caught her gaze, amazed at what he saw in the liquid brown depths. No scorn, no agreement, only kindness glimmered in them.
“It’s okay. Friends do occasionally touch one another, right?” She raised one perfectly sculpted brow.
“Friends?” He’d never had a friend. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Knox, Rose, and the others at Sanctuary were his friends, but he saw them more as mentors or big brothers and sisters rather than friends. She was offering something he’d never had, something he never realized he wanted until now.
“Yeah, friends.” She gave him a warm smile and giggled.
Her laughter was magical, full of life and soothing, but it also enticed him, an emotion effortlessly provoked from the grasp of his ironclad control.
He doubted she was aware of the ease with which she tempted him. The wolf inside him begged and pleaded to claim her, but he couldn’t give in.
Because if he did, he could be thrown out of Sanctuary. If that happened, he might as well be dead because he was certain he’d never be able to walk away and forget about Melony.
While he’d only met her a few short hours ago, she was part of him now, ingrained in his soul forever. He’d rather stay and suffer never being able to touch her, possess her because at least then he’d be able to see her, hear her laughter, talk to her. If he were kicked out of Sanctuary? He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment while anger and fear blended together into a perfect concoction of anxiety, anxiety triggered by the mere thought of never being near her again. That only strengthened his resolve and control.
Until he was finished with his training—which would most likely end after he played teacher with Melony—he had to keep his hands off her. That includes your lips, tongue, and cock too. Maybe if he could prove he was fully reformed and would abide by ancient laws, do whatever it took to protect his kind, he’d be allowed to claim Melony. And he was reformed. He’d never allow harm to come to any potential mate again. He was a man now, not a boy, and he would no longer be intimidated by rogues.
46
Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
What if she doesn’t want a loser like you? Why did he keep torturing himself over his past? Was he really reformed if he couldn’t forgive himself? He didn’t want to contemplate the answer to that one because he wasn’t sure there would come a time that he would be capable of forgiving himself.
What was in the past was in the past, but in his case, what was in the past bit him in the ass every time he thought he was getting over it.
He needed to get over it, but he didn’t know how, and he couldn’t bring himself to talk to anyone about it, not even Karen. He was too ashamed, too angry, and too disgusted with himself to expose another to the unforgivable things he’d allowed to happen in his presence. Besides, if he couldn’t forgive himself, how could he expect anyone else to?
“Come on. Let’s get to the Learning Center. I have lots of questions, and we only have today and tomorrow to meet this week since Thanksgiving is on Thursday.”
“Oh yeah. I almost forgot about that.” How had he forgotten about that?
Melony. That was how. She seemed able to make him forget lots of things.
Stranger yet, the thought of the gathering didn’t seem as daunting as it usually did. Maybe that had something to do with Melony as well.
“I’m going to help out with the food. I’m not a very good cook, so I hope I don’t mess anything up. It’ll be fun, though. I’ve always wanted to learn to bake and all. Mom didn’t really show me much in the kitchen because she wasn’t a great cook either. Maybe I’ll pick up some pointers.”
He didn’t miss the flicker of pain in her eyes, and the need to comfort her pounded through him again.
“What happened to your mother?”
“She died in an accident.” Tears glistened in her eyes, and she looked away from him.
The way she broke eye contact and the way her words trailed off told him her mother’s accident was still a fresh wound and hard for her to talk about. What kind of accident had her mother been in? He didn’t want to push the subject at the moment because Melony looked as if she might burst into tears, and crying he couldn’t handle.
47
Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
“I’m sorry.” He hoped she didn’t think him insensitive for changing the subject, but he didn’t want her to be upset. “I could show you how to cook if you’d like.”
She stopped, and he wondered if he’d said something wrong when she turned and stared at him. He held his breath, and finally let it out when her lips slowly tilted upward in a smile.
“My, my. You are full of surprises, aren’t you? You can cook?”
He nodded. It was one of those things he hadn’t learned to do until he came to Sanctuary. Hell, until then, he’d scrounged for most of what he ate.
He’d never had a real home or place he could cook. Learning how to take care of himself had been something he’d enjoyed, right along with discovering the names of the trees and plants. Both gave him a sense of pride and comfort.
“That would be nice. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I can do most of the basics. You know, mac and cheese, spaghetti—sauce from a jar, of course—
easy things like that.”
“I can show you how to make sauce from scratch.” Damn it. He’d just scolded himself about keeping away from her as much as he could, and now he’d possibly committed himself to spending even more time with her.
She’d voiced something she wanted, and he immediately tried to
