“What is the right thing?”
“Stopping.” He sucked in a breath and turned to face her again. “Because I don’t want to stop once I start touching you.”
“Oh.” Her body ignited, and she understood exactly what he was saying because she felt the same way. “I don’t want you to stop either.” Her cheeks heated, but she refused to take her eyes from his.
She needed to see his face while they had this discussion, needed to witness for herself that he was feeling as reckless as she was, needed to know that he wanted her as badly as she wanted him.
“We can’t.” He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them. “God, we can’t.”
“I think we can, but I’ll be honest. I’ve never been with a man, Lorent, and while I would be honored to be with you, I need to take things slow.
When you touch me, all logic flees my mind, and I want nothing to do with slow, but I don’t want my first time to be rushed. Don’t misunderstand me, because I don’t feel that you would pressure me into anything, but I lose my head with you, and I’m a bit nervous about my first time.”
His eyes glowed brightly then dimmed. “Being a virgin in such a modern world says a lot about your character, Melony. You obviously consider 86
Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
intimacy to be more than a mere slaking of needs. I would never intentionally do anything that caused you any discomfort.”
“Yes, I truly believe that. You’ve been kind with me, and I like you, but I don’t feel like I know you. You’re very guarded. Do you think you could ever trust me enough to open up to me? Even a little?”
He turned back to the window. “I don’t know. I’ve not talked to anyone about me, really. I’m not sure I know how to. I’ve never had a friend, no one to trust. No one has cared to get to know me before.”
“Things are different now. I care, and I know the others here care, or they wouldn’t worry about you. While I won’t pretend to understand why you feel the way you do because I don’t know what has caused your mistrust of others, I realize that you must have experienced things in your past to make you have such misgivings. I can promise you that no matter what you tell me, no matter what you’ve done in your past, I won’t judge you. I will be your friend, and you can trust me. I’m here any time you want to talk.
Whatever you tell me stays with me. Okay?”
He’d never had a friend? She wanted to cry for him, for what he’d missed out on in life. How could anyone he’d been around not want to be friends with him? But his world hadn’t been the same as hers, and she couldn’t pretend to understand it when she didn’t know anything about it.
* * * *
Lorent wanted to tell Melony everything about his past, wanted to believe that she truly meant it when she said she wouldn’t judge him, but how could she not? Yet he knew the fact remained that he and Melony would never have a future together unless he told her everything, unless she could forgive him for his past. He could never expect her to love him, trust him, when he refused to trust her. How could they have a relationship if she didn’t know who he really was, accept him for who he was?
“Thank you. I hope one day I can take you up on that offer.”
“Me, too. And, Lorent?”
He turned to her once again.
87
Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
“I know we haven’t known one another for long, but I’ve never wanted to be with a man like I want to be with you. I hope with all my heart you are my first.”
He sucked in a breath as flames shot through his body, straight to his groin, and he swept down to give her a slow kiss before hesitantly pulling back. He framed her face with his hands. God, she was beautiful on any given day, but the desire that burned in her chocolate eyes and the way her lips were slightly swollen from his kisses was enough to make any man weak in the knees.
“Melony?”
“Yeah?” she whispered.
“Just so you know, if I end up being your first”—and he would if he had anything to say about it—“I’ll also be your last. Do you understand?”
Her full lips formed a cute o, and he barely stopped himself from kissing her again. He didn’t because he doubted his ability to stop again. He wanted her more than he’d wanted anything his entire life, and there were limits to his control.
“Yes. I understand as long as you understand the same goes for you.”
She smiled, covered one of his hands with hers, and gave him a gentle squeeze before turning and making her way back to the table and chairs.
“If you don’t mind, I think we can call it a day. I know we didn’t have a lesson, but since this is our last meeting before Thanksgiving—”
“It’s okay. I’ll think of some questions for you over the holiday, and we can get started on the self-defense on Monday. I’m looking forward to that.
It will be fun.” She smiled.
“Can I walk you home?”
“Yes, but if you don’t mind, I need to see if the Internet will let me on for a few minutes to place an order. I forgot to tell you, but it looks like I’m going to be cutting hair here at Sanctuary.”
He scrubbed his fingers through his hair, and she eyed him as she fiddled with the computer.
Thankfully, it seemed to be in a cooperating mood today, and she was done with her order ten minutes later.
88
Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
“You know, I could cut your hair if you’d like.”
“I’ll think about it. Thanks.” The thought
