“I get all confused around you, Lorent. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”
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“It’s the same for me,” he whispered.
“It’s a little scary how much I’ve grown to care for you in such a short amount of time.
It doesn’t seem possible, and I don’t quite know how to handle the emotions.”
He chuckled before kissing the top of her head. “Believe me when I say I understand completely.”
She looked up at him. “But that’s just it. It’s hard enough trying to understand my feelings, but trying to figure yours out as well is impossible.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not good at this communication thing. Can’t you be patient with me?”
Her shoulders slumped in defeat. “You need to talk to me. It’s time. It’s past time.”
When he didn’t respond, she sighed. “Look, I’ll make this easy for you. Your choice. I won’t hold it against you whatever you decide. If you care for me like I care for you, you’re going to have to trust me at least a little. I’ll admit I’m scared for the future, because honestly? If I fall in love with you, and I’m halfway there already, I don’t know what I’ll do if your mate or mine shows up one day.
“But I can’t deny what I feel for you any longer. There has to be a reason we were brought together, even if I’m not your mate. Please, Lorent, can’t you open up to me about your past?”
“I’ll think about it. There is so much I want to tell you, so much I need to tell you, but I’m not proud of a lot of it, and it won’t be easy for me. In fact, I should probably just tell you all of it, because once you hear, you won’t want to have anything to do with me anymore anyway.”
“Lorent! Whatever you did and whatever happened in your past is just that. In your past. I promise I will not judge you for the things you’ve done. We’ve all made mistakes.
We all deserve to be forgiven, and we all deserve a second chance. I don’t know how to show you I mean that unless you trust me enough to share with me.”
He shook his head. “It’s not that simple. It’s not like I was the school bully and was mean to some kids and then grew up. The things in my past are horrible.”
She reached up and framed his face with her hands. “We all have things we are ashamed of. You’re no different than anyone else. The only thing that makes you different is your obvious refusal to forgive yourself for your past. If you can’t forgive yourself, you couldn’t possibly think anyone else could, right?”
He nodded in agreement.
“Oh, baby.”
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Hot tears spilled down her cheeks. He had so much pain, so much guilt, so much regret locked up inside him, eating away at him. She wanted to help him, to comfort him, to take some of the pain away from him if he’d just let her. She placed her hand over his heart. “You’re a good man, Lorent. Trust me. Let me help you heal.”
And just like that, he was gone.
* * * *
She opened her eyes, surprised to find her cheeks wet with tears. Most of her anger had drained away, and her heart ached for Lorent, and flip-flopped when she realized that she’d already fallen in love with him. There was no going back now. Not for her. She’d love him forever, even if he chose not to love her back, even if they ended up going down different paths in life.
“Great.” She cuddled against Puss. “How am I going to get him to open up to me, Puss?” The cat started purring against her, and she smiled.
Suddenly, she knew she had to get him to trust her, because the dream had not just been a dream. It had been a message. She had to help Lorent.
The only way they could possibly have a future together was if she could find a way to make him understand it was okay to forgive himself.
“How in the heck am I supposed to get him to do that?”
* * * *
The next few days flew by. The snow continued to fall, although it had slowed in pace and mostly fell lazily. Melony had never seen such huge snowflakes, and the longer she was at Sanctuary, the more she liked it. She’d lucked out in getting a connection on the Internet to check her order status, and was pleased to see that her supplies would be delivered in town later in the week.
She sat at her table sipping a hot cup of coffee while Puss ate breakfast at her feet. It was Monday, and she hadn’t seen Lorent since Thanksgiving.
Their lessons were to continue this afternoon, and while she was looking forward to seeing him, a part of her was hesitant about their meeting. Would 108
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she be able to convince him to talk to her? She had a plan, but there was no guarantee it would work.
She sighed and got up to pour the remaining coffee in her cup down the sink, washed it and set it in the strainer on the counter to dry.
“Well, Puss, you have a good day, and be a good kitty.” She bent and gave the cat a gentle rub before gathering up her things and heading for the door. After pulling on her coat, she buttoned up before stepping outside and closing the door behind her.
She took a deep breath of
