School was not fun. I didn’t attend Monday or Tuesday, either. I felt like hell. I felt worthless. Sitting in my room for days, alone. I didn’t want any attention. But most of all, I felt stupid. I feel as if I should’ve known. Po portrayed this attitude and character that I knew him as. But in reality, he was nothing. That’s all I need to say about him; he was nothing. I told dad that I wanted to be alone, so he’d understand. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings with it, but I believe he understood and knew. I got out of my room for something to eat and the occasional bathroom trip. I locked it whenever I heard anything that sounded like our doorbell. No interactions for this girl. But when I showed up to school on Wednesday, things were not okay. The one person who would be here for me, Derrick, wasn’t at school. I could’ve used him today. Especially with what happened…
“Hey Hendricks, is it my turn yet?” I heard from afar in the hallway.
“I heard she’s open for business. I’m ready to get me some.”
It was that douchebag Milo. He was laughing with Mandy and Mariah. And him… Po. The one who I was wrong about the whole time. The one who ruined every possible happiness I had. All the love I felt. The feelings I wanted to share. Everything. I can’t believe I was so blind. Just look at him. Laughing it all up like what he did to me was a goddamn fucking joke. Like it was fun to use me like a sex doll. With his own father too. But this was how the entire school day was. His friend group and him crackling about it all day long, but no one else besides them knowing what exactly happened. All my other classmates and teachers just let it all go, I assume they thought it was just your typical “she’s a slut” and sex jokes. The jokes they have to sit through all day. It is high school after all, what even is high school without all this horniness.
Looking back before “it” happened, I believe it was a thought-out plan with the M’s. Milo, Mariah, Marcus, and Mandy all looking at me and laughing throughout the night. And I had mentioned I had to pee to Po. Then Marcy ends up in the bathroom, taking forever. That can’t be a coincidence. I just wish I had the evidence to prove this. I am a pretty smart gal, and I know I have to be right about this one. Even noticing that Derrick was never to be seen after I spoke to him and he was outside with Marcus. He hates Marcus. It’s just bullshit. It’s all bullshit. I wish I could just erase it from my mind. I don’t want to see these images in my mind anymore. I don’t wanna live like this. After finding out about mom, I know it is better than what could’ve happened. I love you mom. I’m sorry this happened to you. But I’m glad that you didn’t suffer through this. This is ruining me, mom. Please guide me. Stand by me. Help me be set free from this memory prison that is.
I waited in Ms. Julian’s class way longer than I usually do. She sat beside me and just held her hand on my back. She said no words to me. Her hand spoke all the language. I understood what she was telling me. Did she know? I know dad and her used to be close friends. He’s told me she’s not a big friend of anyone’s anymore, but I know she’s not heartless either. Especially with how she treated me today. Both during and after class. Thank you, Ms. Julian. Thank you. I guess tomorrow is another day.
…
ComBox gave me today off. Got to sleep in a bit after I made sure Heather left safely. I knew it was gonna be hard for her. I gave her a big hug and a kiss on the head. She deserves all the true love and care that she can get in these times. With me being the only one to supply it, I had to make sure I’m there whenever my little baby needs me. I even checked out her room while she was gone. I was shocked to see a picture of Elle. It was a picture I must’ve had around somewhere. It looked as if Heather had taken a picture of herself and cut her out. A picture of Elle and her, both in their high school years. Made me shed a tear.
I was just hoping and praying for Heather. Harry is supposed to call me later today, so I had my phone on standby at all times. Louis is going down. Mark my words. I don’t know how that two-faced fucker hid this name change from me, but I swear he doesn’t want to go against me. I’m sure he’s used to that though. He’s been two-faced ever since we were in school. I guess ever since our little incident with Elle, he has hidden his name from everyone around here. Especially my own fucking daughter. I’m unsure how he would have. All legal papers, mail, etc. Even with him
