“Now that we got that cleared up—”
I shake my head. “No. Try again. Like I just said, if you’re not interested, that’s okay. You’re no longer my guardian. You no longer have to feel some obligation to track me down or worry about what I’m doing. But if you are not my guardian and you don’t want to fuck me, that means you have absolutely no say in what I do with the rest of my night.”
“Hazel.”
I give his shoulder an awkward pat. “Have a nice life. I know I wasn’t always graceful about it, but thanks for...” My voice threatens to break and I pause. No. None of that. This is a happy moment, and I might honor the past, but I’m moving on to a bright new future. Tonight is about closure. “Thanks for being a constant, even if it was one night a year.”
“Fuck.” Devan grabs my drink and downs it. “Fuck.”
I don’t know what that means, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. He’s made his call, and now it’s my turn to do the same. To let go, once and for all. I force myself to turn, breaking our tiny contact, and survey the room.
There are plenty of interested eyes turned our way. Not all of them are aimed at me, of course. Devan is good looking in a rough and brutal kind of way. It’s more than just his physical looks; it’s the way he moves, the way he owns every room he walks into. For a long time, I thought I was the only one who reacted to him that way, but the last few birthdays have proved me wrong. When Devan steps through the door, people stop and take notice.
Including everyone in this room.
There’s a gorgeous older woman at a table in the corner, nursing a glass of white wine. She’s in an elegant dress, draped in diamonds, and has wavy dark hair. She’s also staring at Devan with enough heat to make me blush.
“Maybe neither of us will leave alone tonight,” I murmur. No reason to feel the slightest bit of jealousy. No matter what my fantasies encompass, I have no more claim on this man than he has on me. We’re simply two people hurtling through life who were thrown into a collision course neither of us asked for.
“Hazel.” His hand closes around my thigh and he uses the hold to spin me back to my former position, my knees against his. He searches my face. “You’re trying to provoke a reaction.”
“Only a little,” I admit. I am not a perfect person, but I try very hard to be honest. Most of the time. “Though, contrary to popular belief, I do know how to take ‘no’ for an answer. You aren’t interested, so this is over. End of story.”
His gaze drops to my mouth. “Just like that.”
“Yes, just like that. Devan.” His name feels sinful on my tongue. “You keep saying you’re not interested. I keep trying to respect that. Why are you still arguing with me?”
“You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
An illicit thrill goes through me. “Don’t I?” I lean forward, nearly whimpering when I catch a faint hint of the oil he uses in his beard. It is cloves. I shiver. “I’m no innocent.”
“I’m aware of that.” His voice drops. “I’d be the worst kind of bastard to put my hands on you.”
I can’t pretend I had the best of intentions coming here tonight, making a big show of celebrating my birthday at midnight. I knew Devan would come for me, just like he always has in the past. I knew there was an attraction between us. In this moment, it feels like we’re wavering on the edge of something big. All we need is one good shove to send us past the point of no return. “I’m hoping you’ll put more than just your hands on me.”
Chapter 4
He curses. “You don’t know what you’re asking for,” Devan repeats.
I lift my glass and take a long drink. “If you’re not interested, that’s fine. No harm, no foul. I’m not going to cry myself to sleep over it.” Liar. “But don’t you dare pretend that you’re doing it to protect me. I’m an adult and can make my own decisions.”
“Hazel.” He exhales slowly and glances away. “Look, I don’t know if there’s some white knight shit going on in your head, but that’s not me. I’m not going to lay you down in a bed of roses and make sweet love to you.”
Thank god. I wouldn’t know what to do with that sort of thing. I don’t need a savior, no matter what he thinks. I snort. “Cute speech.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.” I set my glass down. “Devan, we might not know each other well when it comes to all the mundane little trivia you pick up on the first three dates, but we know each other.” I lean forward until we’re kissably close. “If you’d stop to really consider it, you’d recognize that I would eat a white knight alive.” I hold his gaze, my heart in my throat. “Just like I know that you are more than capable of handling whatever I throw at you.”
“Hazel.”
“Let me finish please.” I draw in a shuddering breath. “But none of that matters.”
Devan hasn’t seemed to breathe the entire time I spoke. He leans forward the tiniest bit, closing the distance between us a nearly imperceptible amount. “What matters, Hazel?”
Every time he says my name, it’s like he’s stroking his fingertips down my spine. I try for a smile but can’t quite manage it. “The only thing that matters is that I trust you. And I know I’m safe with you.”
He curses, low and furious. “That’s not fair.”
“I know.” I never intended to play fair. Not when it comes to Devan or what I’d like
