What am I doing?
Yelling at him might have made me feel better before I calmed down, but it surely won’t now. This is ridiculous. I have better things to do than go a round with Broderick. Especially since it feels like our friendship has been fracturing from the moment we arrived in Sabine Valley. Being here is doing a number on my head, but Broderick has to be feeling something similar. The last time he was in this city, all three factions came together in an attempt to kill him and his brothers. I wish I had more emotional capacity to be there for him right now, but I’m barely treading water as it is. Fighting with him is only going to make it worse. This was a mistake.
I shove to my feet, but it’s too late.
The door opens, and the man himself stalks into the room.
Chapter 8 Broderick
The last thing I expect when I get to my room is to find Shiloh waiting for me. Despite myself, my attention snags on the faint red marks on her mouth and neck from Monroe’s lipstick. Even through my rising irritation, heat surges hot enough to have me fighting my body’s reaction. Of course, I find the idea of them together attractive. They’re both gorgeous. I’m only human. It’s nothing more than that.
I clear my throat. I need to apologize. I know I need to apologize. I just have to find the words. “Shiloh. What are you doing here?”
“I don’t know.” She stands slowly. “I was very, very angry when I left the bar, but I’ve gotten a bit turned around since then.”
“I’m sorry.” I am. Truly. I never wanted to make her feel bad for anything, and she’s right—I don’t have a claim to her since we’re only friends. The reminder never used to feel like sandpaper beneath my skin. I respect our friendship. Putting Shiloh in an uncomfortable position because of my feelings is out of the question. And yet… I drag my hand over my face. “I might have been a bit out of line.”
“A bit?”
Heat flushes my face and neck, and I have the uncomfortable suspicion that I’m blushing. “Monroe makes me lose my cool.”
“Monroe,” she says the other woman’s name slowly, seeming to test it. “Yes, Monroe has a way of provoking people.” Except Shiloh doesn’t sound like she thinks that’s a bad thing.
“She’s trouble.”
“You’re right.” Just like that, the softening of Shiloh’s expression disappears. She crosses her arms over her chest. “Maybe if you stopped avoiding her and actually dealt with the situation, she would get into less trouble.”
I take a step back. Shiloh has a point, but I can’t bring myself to admit it. Spending more time around my Bride, trying to corral her, will just pave the way for Monroe to provoke me further. I don’t recognize myself when I’m around that woman. “She’s poison.”
“Is she?” Shiloh glares. “She’s an ambitious, terrifying woman. She’s an enemy of the Raider faction and your family. But that’s it. That doesn’t make her poison.”
“My brothers and I were almost killed because of what the Amazons did.” Not just the Amazons, but I’m not handfasted to a Mystic currently. “They would have seen every single member of my family burn.”
“I know what the Amazons are capable of.” Shiloh goes still. “Do you think I could possibly forget?”
No, of course not. We’ve talked about it more than once, how that night of betrayal and ash changed the course of my family’s life forever. We weren’t exactly living the dream life, not under my father’s rule, but at least we had stability. After the night of the coup, we were hunted.
And every single faction in Sabine Valley was responsible. Amazon. Mystics. Even the Raiders in the form of Eli Walsh’s father. It’s since come to light that Eli wasn’t behind the plans that nearly killed me and my brothers in the house fire, that he wasn’t even aware of it, but it’s still hard to let go of eight years of bad blood. I’m working on it, because Abel loves that asshole, but I can barely look at Eli without tasting ash on my tongue.
Shiloh knows what it means to never be able to go home again. Her parents made my father look like he should be accepting Parent of the Year awards. Even without the specific details, I know she was abused and that they’re religious zealots. I try not to think about her past too much, because doing so is shitty for my blood pressure, and she won’t thank me for trying to step in and save the child she used to be.
“I know you didn’t forget,” I say quietly. “But you have to understand how I felt seeing you two in the bar…” I wave my hand at her. “Seeing it now. It feels like you got into bed with the enemy.”
“In bed with the enemy,” she repeats. Shiloh narrows her eyes. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but did you not fuck Monroe on Lammas night?”
“That’s different.”
“Is it?” She stalks toward me. “So different that you’ve been hiding from her ever since. The only other of your brothers who’s avoiding his Bride is Gabriel, and he’s a baby.”
“He’s twenty-eight. He can be forgiven for not knowing what to do with Fallon.”
“Then she shouldn’t have been his selection. Better that he get Matteo or Winry.” She stops and makes a face. “Maybe not Winry.” Shiloh shakes her head. “None of this addresses the fact that you don’t have a say in who I sleep with, Broderick. And if you’re determined to avoid Monroe and pretend Lammas never happened, then you don’t
