He instantly grew stiff.
“I was just joking. Obviously neither one of us ever want to get married again.”
He didn’t answer. I glanced over. He was working the inside of his lip the way he always did when he was worried.
I sat up on one elbow. “Spill it.”
“You know I’m seeing Nicoletta.”
I smirked. “Yeah, she’s a piece of work.”
He frowned. “She’s not that bad. She’s been through a lot.”
I flopped back on the pillow and shrugged even though I knew he wasn’t looking.
“She’s not in your league,” I said. “Not even fucking close.”
“I care about her.”
I sat up. This wasn’t good. “Is there something you’re trying to tell me?” I asked, flinging my legs over the side of the bed. I was done with talking about Nicoletta while I lay naked with James. “You feeling guilty about tonight?”
He pulled himself to sitting. “Yeah. I guess I am. We probably shouldn’t have done this. For so many reasons.”
“Does she know you bailed me out and are vouching for me?”
He didn’t answer.
“I’ll take that as a no. Hey, relax,” I said as I pulled on my lacy thong. “You guys aren’t married. You’re still a free agent.”
Again, he didn’t respond. I started to feel a sense of dread.
I turned to face him. His eyes flickered over my bare breasts and I saw the lust already there again. Who was he trying to fool? It was irritating.
“What’s your point, James?”
“I just don’t want you to think that…you know…me and you…”
He trailed off.
It stung. I felt my heart harden and lashed out angrily.
“Grow a pair, James,” I said. “This means nothing to me. I knew what it was as soon as you kissed me. Two consenting adults. I don’t expect anything else from you. In fact, I don’t want anything else from you. Not even to stay here. I’ll leave.”
“You can’t. I promised the judge.”
That’s when I knew. I would be gone before morning. It had always been inevitable. I had to fight for myself. As always. I was the only one I could count on to solve this problem. I couldn’t stay with James and wait for him to find the real killer. It was up to me. And I couldn’t do it locked up in this apartment.
I stared at him for a long moment.
“Gia,” he said in a softer tone, “I just didn’t want to lead you on. It’s my fault. As soon as I saw you and realized you were back in town, I knew…I knew what would happen.”
“So, what’s the problem?” I said, searching for my bra on the floor until I remembered I hadn’t been wearing one.
James was now dressed and had slid into his wheelchair. “The problem is, I’m seeing someone. I can’t be with you.”
I glared at him. “Let me make this perfectly clear. I don’t want us to be together.”
I was pissed. How did this all go to hell so quickly?
“Let me go,” I said half-heartedly. “I’ll just leave. You obviously don’t want me here. What will your girlfriend do if she finds out I’m staying here? She’s going to flip her shit.”
He ran a hand through his hair.
“Damn it,” he said. “You can’t leave. You’re under house arrest.”
“This was the worst idea ever,” I said. I stood, naked except for my lacy thong. “What am I supposed to wear while I’m here? My velvet dress?”
He didn’t answer, so I headed for his closet. I found a long-sleeve black T-shirt and some black cargo pants. I cinched a belt until they stayed up around my waist.
He watched me silently and then when I turned to face him, he said, “Why is it always like this with us, Gia?”
“I don’t know, James,” I said, my voice cold. “But I know that this is why we will never be together.”
He sat there for a few seconds in silence. I waited, growing even more irritated. I didn’t understand what the point of this conversation was. All I wanted to do was get the fuck out of there. It had been such a great night, but it had gone south so quickly. Part of me wanted to cry. Why had he ruined everything?
“Please don’t,” he said.
“Don’t what?” I snapped.
“Be like this.” He grabbed his keys off a small table. “I’m going to go get us some food for dinner.”
“Be like what?” I said angrily. “You’re the one who brought up all this bullshit, James, not me.”
He sighed loudly. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
I shrugged. “Go get us some food. I’m starved.”
I made my way to the kitchen and stuck my head in the refrigerator. I found an open bottle of white wine and grabbed it.
Who opened a bottle of wine and didn’t finish it? Probably Soprano Sally.
I poured a glass and took a sip. I was holding my breath, dying for him to leave. But he kept watching me. Was he suspicious? I downed the glass of wine and poured another.
“Since I’m stuck here, I hope you don’t mind if I get shitfaced? Be sure to get more wine while you’re out.”
There, that should convince him.
My skin was practically crawling with the intense desire to get the fuck out of his apartment. I felt like a fool. His attitude had tarnished what had just happened.
Then he made a move I hadn’t expected: He put his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes with his palms. I stared. What the fuck?
“You okay?” I asked.
He shook his head. My anger disappeared. “What is it?”
He exhaled loudly. “I’ve always hoped deep down inside that we could be together again someday.” His voice was so sad that I reached for his hand. He clutched mine tightly. He wouldn’t look at me. “But at the same time, I know we can’t. I put all that shit on you just now.”
“Yeah,” I said, but my voice was soft. “You did.”
He wasn’t done, though. “I want you in my life always, but we both know that if we tried to make it work as a couple,
