She managed to close the front door without slamming it. With the backpack slung over her shoulder, Meghan ignored the rest of the people milling around outside. She slipped by Calvin as he tried to talk to her. He watched her leave, and Meghan hoped the man didn’t see the tears that froze on her cheek as she tried to hide her face from the world.
Chapter Sixteen
Meghan wasn’t someone to wallow in self-defeat for too long. It wasn’t in her nature. When she bounced back from a close quarter gunshot wound to the chest, her trauma surgeon suggested Meghan’s body refused to give up on life. The surgeon suggested Meghan had a lot left to do on earth before she left, and it didn’t matter how many times her heart stopped during the procedure. Getting away from the department put her life into perspective. She took a few shortcuts; it was true. Meghan never gave up on her oath. She believed in the model. She believed in integrity. Unfortunately, sometimes people had more seniority than her, and no matter what she did in life, she still had to take orders from a supervisor.
Meghan wondered if missing the vigil for Christine was a selfish move, or the right one considering the whole town probably knew already that Trooper Sergeant Reeve relieved her of duties as Police Chief. Meghan saw he had the trooper IT department deactivate her access to the state email and access to the criminal database. She managed to upload Vincent Atkinson’s interview following her incident with Cadet Holmes. She had a copy of the audio transcript on her laptop, which she promptly deleted.
By Wednesday, the realization that life changed hit Meghan like a bucket of icy water in the face. She had packed Dana’s luggage and left it on the porch. It disappeared between Tuesday and Wednesday, and Meghan didn’t care if someone stole it. Dana carried her passport and federal credentials with her everywhere.
For the first time since Meghan lived in town, she drew the curtains throughout the house. Meghan ignored the phone calls from anyone associated with the City of Kinguyakkii. She deleted text messages from the same group of people without taking the time to respond or read the texts.
Meghan ignored the few visitors who came by the house. It was easy to know who stopped by because they usually called through the door.
When Meghan finally got motivated to start looking at the future outside law enforcement, she needed a little inspiration.
“I didn’t think you’d answer the phone,” Meghan said. She reclined on the sofa with a blanket over her legs. It was a little after three in the afternoon, which translated to a little after seven in the evening on New York time.
“I’m fixing dinner for Dad,” Brittany said. “What’s up?”
“Oh nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice.” Meghan didn’t know what it was about listening to the soothing sounds of her daughter’s voice, but sometimes, even a few thousand miles away, Brittany helped Meghan cope with stress or loneliness.
“Well, that’s okay, I guess.” The noise in the background had a little music, tableware, and the general sounds of someone doing something that wasn’t related to Alaska or Meghan’s life. “Hey, I applied for a scholarship to UAA.”
The University of Alaska was a long way from New York. Out of state tuition was expensive. Brittany was pragmatic, like her mother, and frugal like her father. A teenager that never had to worry about a meal or a roof overhead didn’t understand how money worked. There was nothing wrong with Syracuse University. Brittany could live at her father’s house and commute to school every day. Yet, someone who had a college in her backyard didn’t want to go there. She wanted to explore other options. Meghan knew Brittany thought about Alaska because of her mother.
“Well, I hope you still apply for scholarships to Ithaca or Syracuse. You still have a whole year anyway.”
“I know, but it’s good to get a head start. Even if they reject me before the fall semester, I can apply for next year when I am out of high school.”
Brittany, the forward-thinking and conscientious young woman, knew she had actively pursued what she wanted in life because it wasn’t handing out rewards for complacency.
“Maybe you’ll change your mind. They’re big on volleyball at UAA, but I don’t think they have a track team.”
“What’s wrong?” Brittany asked.
“What do you mean?”
“That’s the second time you subtly talked me out of applying to the university. Something happened, I know you.”
“I’m considering my options.”
“Oh? You mean like moving back to New York?”
“Would you like that?” Meghan needed to know what her daughter thought because after what happened and what Dana said, Meghan didn’t feel much like Mother of the Year.
“I like you living in Alaska. I think it’s cool. It’s a great topic at parties.”
“Whoa young lady, what parties?”
“We have weekend raves in abandoned buildings around Syracuse, where we do bath salts and dance around naked.”
“What did I tell you about that stuff?”
“Don’t dance naked?”
“That’s right.” They shared a laugh, but Meghan fund it hard to feel the humor.
“Okay, Mom.” There was a clanging of dishes on Brittany’s side of the phone call. “What’s really going on?”
“I don’t know. I’ve had a few things going on at work,” she said.
“Anything interesting?” Brittany asked.
“I guess so,” she said. There was a point when Meghan wanted to spill it all out for her daughter. She held back because burdening her daughter with the realization her
