Making the Commitment and Establishing a Calendar
Once your idea and vision burn clear and bright, make a commitment to keep the group going for an established time period. It can be a quarter, a year-and-a-day in the tradition of the witches of old, or some other time period. As part of your commitment, you will want to establish meeting times and develop a calendar of meetings dates. New moon dates can be a challenge since the calendar of dates in our daily lives is a solar calendar. The new moon moves to different days of the week. I was in a new moon group that wanted to meet exactly on the night of the new moon each month. The date became sort of a floating holiday decided by the hostess. It became too great a challenge for five busy women to be available every new moon. The group finally faded away because there was never enough notice and the date floated too freely. It wasn’t practical. A more successful group has been one that chose a specific day of the week and then gathered on that day closest to the moon phase. It’s easier to count on having a meeting on the Friday nearest the new moon than on the actual new moon date.
Attendance and Rules
For most of us, rules remind us of our work-a-day world, and one of the things we want to do in our group is be set apart from those kinds of details. Often, rules and guidelines can involve punishment and reward. But it doesn’t have to be like that. We can shift our attitude to look at taking care of this kind of detail as establishing a framework for all the wonderful discoveries our group is going to make. Once in place, the framework can take care of itself with some maintenance from time to time. This kind of framework can give the group member a safe harbor to explore who they are and discover more about themselves and the magical world of the moon.
As part of the commitment to the group, you may wish to establish guidelines for attendance. This is all a matter of personal choice and part of the vision. For instance, if you want some consistency, you may need to have a core number of people who attend all or most of the time. As the leader of a group, I made a commitment to establish the calendar and attend every meeting. I did begin to develop a back-up plan in case I ever needed to be elsewhere and could not attend. One of my proudest moments occurred when I had to be out of town for a family illness and a major ritual was to happen at the same time. Our back-up plans went into place and the ritual and meeting occurred; it was fabulous. I was able to be there in spirit while I was physically where I most needed to be.
There are other rules you may wish to establish. The most effective ones are those that are made together, a sort of agreement developed around your core purpose. Guidelines for confidentiality, inviting guests, communication, various courtesies, tardiness, time, and expenses are all issues groups end up grappling with. How is leadership handled and how are decisions made? Are there areas that are considered “no trespassing?” Are those kinds of taboos acceptable? Be sure to allow time for chatter, follow-up, and check-in, and allow for people to slough off the cares of their day.
It’s human nature to establish some rules and guidelines and then forget to update them as things evolve. Pick a time, perhaps at the beginning of the year or the birthday of your group, to go over your guidelines. That keeps your understanding and awareness of the process fresh and clear. This also builds in an ongoing and healthy attitude of adaptation and informal evaluation.
To make gatherings meaningful so that you and others look forward to meetings requires a little bit of thought. Keep what you explore simple and personal. There’s no need to create a book-sized handout for each meeting and deliver a lecture worthy of Sister Mary Margaret from your schooldays. Something interesting that is well presented, explored, discussed, and learned will keep people coming back and will keep you engaged and empowered.
Gatherings: Ritual Aspects
Now comes the fun part—planning and having your new moon group meet. Some of the nicest groups I’ve attended were friendly and casual with very little ritual formalities. That doesn’t mean that rituals are absent, it means the ritual elements are less ceremonial. Attention to spirit in whatever form is chosen becomes part of the heartbeat of the group. In one group, the women had a very nice large candle in a beautiful holder. They lit it, chanting the same words every time. At the end of their gathering, they extinguished it while chanting a parting sentiment. The candle and its holder traveled home with the hostess of the next gathering. Their meetings consisted of a lesson or a craft, a lot of laughter, and really good food.
Keep what you explore simple and personal. There’s no need to create a book-sized handout for each meeting and deliver a lecture.
Food is an important part of spiritual gatherings. I have wonderful memories of some incredible church suppers. Covered dish, dish-to-pass, and potluck are regional terms for a gathering where people bring food! It’s an amazing way to establish community, share stories and history, and make new stories—all created through our food and unique recipes!
Food is important to women and women’s groups. Most of us in this media-saturated world have grown up with a complex relationship with both our body and food. I think men look at food in a completely different way than women; for the most part, they see it as a pleasure and as a necessity. For
