She stopped struggling in his grip and tilted her head back to meet his gaze directly. “Why, Sebastian?” Her gaze bore into his. “Why are you doing this?”
She wasn’t asking why he was insisting on a dance. He knew that. No matter what his father and brother might have thought, he was not nearly as imbecilic as all that. He opened his mouth and nothing came out but air.
Or perhaps he really was an imbecile because the more he tried to put the emotions he was feeling into words, the more his mind went blank. Like trying to pin down a cloud, he found himself scrambling for words to explain how he felt, what he wanted.
“I don’t want to see you go,” he finally managed.
Something in her seemed to deflate, though her expression remained the same.
Or maybe it was something inside of him that had deflated as the moment that had seemed so fraught and meaningful fell flat on its face.
“I must go.” She pulled back. “My sister is waiting for me, and your father will wish to see me soon, I am sure.”
She was walking away.
No, she was running, even if her steps were measured and sure.
Could he blame her?
No.
He ran a hand through his hair and stared at the doorway long after she’d disappeared.
He’d made a mess of that. But for all he’d been worried about her these past two days, with all that he knew he’d missed her company, he hadn’t realized until he’d seen her again just how much he needed her.
It had thrown him, and in return he’d gone and done what he always did when he was home. He’d made a mess of it.
And she’d run.
He spent a long moment staring after her as he tried to sift through these new and overwhelming feelings she’d stirred in him. It was too late to sort out where they’d come from or why. All that could be addressed now was what to do with them. To let her go and head back to the army as though nothing had happened?
Was such a thing even possible?
No. He knew it in his gut as surely as he knew his own name. He’d never forget her or the way she made him feel.
As though he were enough. As though he could be more.
As though he’d finally come home.
After a long moment he followed in her footsteps, already aching for the next chance he’d have to see her.
Had she run because she did not want what he had to offer, or had he run her off?
But he found himself faced with something more important as he went through the remainder of the day without another glimpse of her.
She might have run. But would he give chase?
Chapter 9
Sally should have known she could not avoid Sebastian forever. She was equally elated and miserable at the sound of his voice behind her the next evening before the beginning of the ball.
Her last evening here at Hampton Manor.
The thought shouldn’t have made her throat tighten with unshed tears. She hated that it did.
“Sally, you look wonderful.” His voice behind her as she gazed out the window made her still. She shut her eyes against the rush of warmth that came unbidden and unwelcome.
When had his voice become so familiar...so dear?
The other ladies and several of the gentlemen from the house party were gathered here as well, waiting for the other guests to arrive. For once their conversation did not push the boundaries of impropriety, but try telling that to her heart.
Sally drew in a deep breath and turned to face him. She instantly wished she hadn’t. The sight of him in his finest attire, his hair neatly slicked back from his face...he was more handsome than ever. She knew without a doubt she wasn’t the only lady in the room to notice.
What was he even doing talking to her? Did he not know that he could have any lady he wished? Irritation had her lips pressing together firmly.
His gaze raked over her and his eyes were warm beyond belief. So warm a mere look seemed to singe her skin. “You look beautiful.”
She clenched her hands. “I don’t. I look adequate.”
His lips quirked up at the corners. “Fishing for compliments, are we?”
He was teasing, but she refused to fall victim to his easy laughter. This flirtation—or whatever it was for him—had gone on long enough. Seeing her mother hadn’t just torn at her heart and made her face a gaping hole in her life she’d done her best to avoid, it had forced her to remember her priorities. Her family needed her now more than ever. Her father needed her.
There was no space in her life for frivolous flirtations that could only ever bring harm to her reputation and her family’s.
“Just being honest,” she said. She sounded as tired as she felt. “One of us ought to be.”
His brows arched. “What is that supposed to mean?”
People were watching but they were not so close to overhear. All the same, Sally lowered her voice. It was time to stop dallying and be done with it. She knew better than anyone that pain lasted longer when one didn’t deal with a wound directly. She drew in a deep breath to brace herself. “There is no future here. You know it. I know it.” He looked like he might protest but she did not let him speak. “Do us both a kindness and leave me be.”
His expression was stricken. Her stomach roiled with nausea. But this was necessary. For both of them. He might not see it, but there was so much he could not see. Her mind flashed back to the image of her mother. There was so much he could not know.
He might have thought something had grown between them. Something more than friendship...
Her heart gave a painful thud. All right, fine. Perhaps she’d started to think so too. At some point, some girlish, ridiculous part of herself
