“Well?” His brother waved a hand in a gesture of ‘get on with it.’ “You were saying, Sebastian?”
His father looked nearly as stunned as Sebastian felt at the sudden shift in the family dynamic. Of course, there was no time now to sit and ponder what had changed that he was suddenly being treated as a responsible adult and not an overgrown child. That could wait until later.
He turned once more to face his father and thought again of all Sally had said about him and his father, what she’d inferred, and what she’d said about her own family. For a moment he was overwhelmed by it all. By the complexity. But when it came to Sally, little was complicated.
She was a woman who believed in her values, who lived by them, and who placed family above all others. She was so very good, so very genuine, that she gave a man something to believe in.
But his father and brother were waiting, and he didn’t suppose they were waiting to hear him wax on about the glorious Miss Sally Jones. So instead, he leaned forward and clasped his hands together as his elbows rested on his knees. “I propose we go around and air our grievances in this family.” He cast his father a sidelong look. “And perhaps our fears. If we cannot be honest and open with one another, I wonder who we can rely on.”
The silence that followed was filled with a look shared between his father and Maxwell. It seemed to be one of wary approval.
“Right, then. I’ll start,” he said with a clap of his hands which made it seem as though he were actually looking forward to bearing his innards to the two men he admired, respected, and feared the most. In actuality, he was glad he hadn’t yet eaten or he might very well have spilled the contents of his stomach on the floor. “Believe it or not, I love the army.” His father’s brows arched in surprise, although Sebastian had hardly tried to keep this a secret. “I am thriving in the military, and it has given me the sense of purpose that I have long sought.”
He had a flicker of Sally then. The girl was the living definition of purpose, and he supposed he’d admired that about her first. But it was definitely not the last of her many and myriad traits he admired.
“What is your point, Sebastian?” Maxwell asked.
“Only that while I know Father might wish for me to rethink this career, to stay closer to home and take on more duties here, I am not as reckless as he fears. I know he believes I’m off gallivanting—”
“That’s not why I wanted you back home.” His father’s interruption had him blinking over at the older man. His father shifted uneasily, but Sebastian and his brother waited in silence.
“I wanted you home because any manner of accidents could occur while you’re in the military. You could be sent off to a war, for goodness sake. You could be maimed or worse while training. You could—”
“I could be thrown from my horse while out on a morning ride,” Sebastian interjected. For once, however, he wasn’t fighting him. He was merely trying to make his father see.
Because now that he’d spoken, Sebastian saw what his father’s fears were. A quick glance at his brother showed that he saw it too.
A warmth of tenderness and concern tinged Maxwell’s typically unreadable gaze as he looked upon their father. “And your insistence that I always be at your beck and call here at the manor...” Maxwell said quietly. Almost gently.
Their father rubbed at the back of his neck and not for the first time during this visit, Sebastian noted just how much he’d aged these past two years since their mother died. Not that his health was failing or that he was sickly in any way, but he looked tired. Weary. The courage and confidence that Sebastian had always admired and often feared as a child was nowhere to be found.
“Anything could happen to you there in the city,” their father murmured.
Maxwell and Sebastian exchanged a long look. There it was. These past two years of interference and haranguing—and it was because their father was scared.
“She went so quickly,” their father said, his gaze fixed on the carpet, his eyes distant with memory. “I wasn’t expecting it at all. I’d never given any thought to what life would be like without her.” He let out an exasperated huff. “I’d never given any thought that it could happen to any one of us. To either of you.”
Sebastian opened his mouth but shut it promptly. His throat felt tight with emotion. Even Maxwell looked pained and overset, not at all like his normal untouchable, impossibly arrogant self.
“It’s not as though we can guarantee our safety, Father,” Maxwell said slowly. “Just as there is no certainty about your future. But we cannot stop living. We cannot lead full lives if we spend all of our days with one eye fixed on the grave.”
Silence followed as each man seemed to dwell in his own thoughts.
Their father broke it by shifting in his seat to face Sebastian directly. “So...you’re an upright servant of the crown now, are you?”
Sebastian didn’t miss the flicker of amusement, nor the warmth there that he hadn’t seen in ages. “It would appear that way.”
“Well…” His father’s voice was gruff. “You’ve made us proud.”
Sebastian stared, a bizarre stinging sensation pricking the back of his eyes.
“Your mother would be quite pleased,” their father added, looking nearly as uncomfortable as Sebastian felt.
“Thank you, Father,” he finally managed to say.
The conversation continued, and following Sebastian’s lead, his brother and father each took a turn doing the very thing no man in this household had ever thought to do before.
They were honest. Open. And by the time
