I’m here to listen to or read whatever you want to tell me. I like listening to you. Could do it for hours, actually. I feel like I can tell you anything – everything. You’re a comfortable presence, whether at my side or in my mind. Soothing like. I don’t get that feeling nearly often enough.
I learned some things when I was locked up. Patience, for one thing, and that me getting pissed off and shit wasn’t hurting anyone but me. Me and the club. Kind of fucked them over, me being locked up for a couple years like that.
You know why I was in your bar that night?
I was jealous. Of my brothers. A lot of them are finding good women, starting to settle. Jobs becoming careers and leading the life I always wanted for myself. I fucked that up, and I was in your bar, drowning my fuckin’ sorrows over it.
I could have just as easily had a drink at the club for free, but I just… I’m surrounded by the guys and their girls and I’ve never felt more alone – until I woke up half drunk, beat to fuck on your couch. I don’t know, maybe you were my guardian angel that night. Maybe my guardian angel led me to you.
Whatever it was, you were what I needed in that moment and I’d really like to be whatever you need right now. Friend? Lover? Something less, something more, something in between? I don’t care.
Whatever it is you need, I’m here for it.
A confessional for your sins, I’d happily eat them and bear the consequences. Just someone to talk to, someone to hear what no one else is willing to listen to… I can do that.
If you want to vent, to rage, to just talk about the weather or chat about memories or even the simple things like your favorite color or flavor of ice cream, I’m here for it.
Truth, your letter was a nice way to pass the time after a day of chorin’ around the farm. I’m listening to the goats out there and under the floor I’m lying on. It’s quiet, and peaceful out this way. I think you’d like it, but truth be told, I’d rather pull myself up by the bootstraps some before I brought you around.
I know I cast more than a few stones about your apartment, but I’m damn sure living in a glass house. My current residence is a mattress on the floor of the loft of this barn. Most of the loft is storage for Fenris’ lady’s pottery business. I’ve carved out a quiet little corner for myself, though.
The house on the property is impressive, and I could totally stay in it if I wanted, but I’m a bit of an introvert by nature and I like my own space at the end of the day. The quiet.
That was something I liked about my time with you. You didn’t feel the need to always fill the silence. You let me be me. No expectations or anything. It was nice.
“Mace!”
“Yeah!” I called back. Sauley opened the door to the loft and came in. I lifted my chin. “What’s up?”
“I’m leavin’, got it figured out.”
“Good deal, two seconds and you can take this with you.”
I finished my thoughts, wrapping up quick.
Anyway, Sauley is here. He’s bringing you something. Something I think you’ll like. Please accept it.
I want to hear more about you. Whatever you want to tell me.
Mace
I pulled the pages from the notebook and folded them in, half tucking them into a half-sized manila envelope. I’d found a bunch in a random box.
“Here, deliver this along with what I already gave you.”
“Sure thing.” He took the freshly sealed envelope and tapped it against the fingertips of his opposite hand.
“Should have seen her face when she opened that card,” he said. I raised an eyebrow but didn’t speak. He looked uncomfortable for a moment but said, “She looked… relieved. I don’t know. I know she misses you. Like for real, no lie.”
I nodded and braced my forearms on my knees.
“What’s the point of this whole story?” I asked.
He shook his head and said, “Isn’t one, I guess.”
I nodded, and he raised the envelope and gave a nod, tapping it one last time against his fingers. When he turned to go, I called out, “Sauley?” He turned, and I said, “Thanks for doing this for me.”
He considered me for a moment and said, “It’s actually my pleasure. No better feeling than being the bearer of whatever makes a sad girl look happy again. Even if it is just for a few moments.”
I nodded and said, “Just wish these damn ribs would heal up faster so I could see it for myself.”
Sauley nodded and looked thoughtful a second.
“I’ve got you, bro,” he said and with that, he turned and left the barn.
I chuckled and shook my head. He was a good kid. I had no doubts he was going to make it and be one of us. Still, everyone had to pay their dues.
I lay back, hands under my head and stared at the raw wood ceiling of the barn loft and wondered idly if I’d paid mine yet or if there was more flesh and blood to be extracted still.
When I closed my eyes, Raven’s face is the thing I saw, and it made me ache. Ache to hold her, ache to kiss her for real, and ache to love her into a state of pure sweet bliss.
I really hoped I would get the chance to do those things and show her that not every man out here was a douchelord. I wasn’t entirely sure how bad Max had hurt her, but when I found out, I could tell you one thing; he was going to hurt ten times worse.
10
Raven…
“Here, I think you’re supposed to read this
